Part 16 (2/2)
”Call him.” I ignore her question.
”And if I don't?”
”Then we're done,” I say, matter of fact.
”You can't be serious.” I see the panic and realization flood her face in unison.
”I'm very serious. I need to know that you're with me one hundred percent.”
”I am. I am with you a hundred percent. Please, just don't make me do it this way.” Tears flood her cheeks and she reaches for me again.
”You say you've made your choice, then prove it,” I say, reaching around her to pull her cell phone out of her back pocket. ”Show me it's me.” I flip her hand upward and set the device in her palm.
She stares at it for several long moments before her tear-filled gaze meets mine.
”I can't.” Her words are barely a whisper and yet echo over and over again like she's screaming at the top of her lungs.
”You mean you won't.” I keep my voice even despite that fact that I feel like I could punch a f.u.c.king hole straight through one of the truck windows at this current moment.
”If you could just give me more...”
”You can have all the f.u.c.king time you want,” I interrupt her. ”I'm done,” I say, turning forward as I reach for the ignition, firing the truck to life.
”What are you saying?”
”I'm saying get the f.u.c.k out of my truck, Harlee.” I keep my eyes focused forward as I try to hold my s.h.i.+t together.
”Gavin. Don't do this,” she pleads, her hand settling down on top of my forearm.
I shake off her touch and finally meet her gaze.
”I said, get the f.u.c.k out of my truck,” I repeat, accentuating each word. ”Now.” My voice booms through the truck causing Harlee to jump slightly.
I grip the steering wheel tighter and focus my eyes back through the winds.h.i.+eld.
”For what it's worth,” she says weakly, shoving open the pa.s.senger door. ”I love you.”
I ignore both the sting and elation that crashes over me at her words. I can feel my emotions slip behind the black wall, numbness taking the place of where my love and anger reside.
”You have a funny way of showing people that you love them,” I grind out.
I hear her trying to m.u.f.fle a sob as she slams the door shut and takes off toward her dorm. I watch as she crosses the courtyard before finally disappearing inside the large brick building.
I know I'm an a.s.shole. I know I have no right to demand such things of her. I know I don't deserve her love. I know a lot, but it doesn't change one f.u.c.king thing. She's proven to me she's incapable of handling this on her own which means only one thing. I'm either going to have to force her into a situation she can't back out of, or I'm simply going to have to let her go.
Either way, I will most likely end up losing her in the end...
Chapter Nineteen.
Gavin ”You know, she's just as miserable as you are.” Kimber slides into the stool next to me.
”I don't know what the f.u.c.k you're talking about.” I keep my gaze focused on the flat screen television mounted on the wall behind the bar, taking another long drink of my beer.
”Are you sure you and Decklan aren't real brothers?” She nudges my shoulder with hers. ”You sure as h.e.l.l act the same.”
”He just likes to be like me.” I turn my face, finally meeting her gaze.
”There he is.” She smiles, causing my own lips to twitch upward in the closest thing to a smile I have formed in the last forty-eight hours.
”Where is Decklan anyway?” I look around the bar, realizing he must not have come down with her.
”He's sleeping.” Her statement causes me to glance at the clock.
”At ten thirty?” I gape at her.
”I know, right,” she laughs. ”For the longest time, I couldn't get him to sleep at all. Now I feel like it's a struggle to keep him awake some nights.”
”He's an old man now.” I laugh before falling serious. ”I don't think I've ever thanked you,” I say, not missing the confusion that immediately floods her face.
”Thanked me?” she questions.
”For what you've done for Deck. You pulled him out of a hole I was convinced he would eventually die in. You've given him life. I don't think I've ever seen him so happy. I know things were rocky there for a while. I'm glad you stuck it out.”
”Please. That man is stuck with me whether he wants to be or not.” She smiles, the action lighting up her entire face. ”You don't have to thank me, though. I love him.”
”I know I don't have to thank you, but I'm doing so anyway. He's my family and now so are you.” I nudge her shoulder the same way she did mine just moments ago.
”I take it you've spoken to her?” I pull the conversation back to Harlee without skipping a beat.
I can try to play it off like I don't care all I want. It still doesn't change the fact that it's f.u.c.king killing me to try to focus on anything other than the beautiful girl that has completely consumed every f.u.c.king inch of me.
”I have,” she confirms, nodding to Val when she slides a gla.s.s of water in front of her.
All I can see is Harlee's face, the events of two nights ago replaying in my head like a bad movie I just can't seem to force myself to shut off. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought forcing her hand would somehow prove that I had won, that I was who she wanted. Unfortunately, it would seem my actions have had the opposite effect.
She's made no attempt to contact me, and I'm too f.u.c.king proud to make the first move. I'm not exactly sure where that leaves us.
”How is she?” I ask when she makes no attempt to elaborate on her statement.
”How do you think she is?” She narrows her gaze on me.
”I guess it's safe to say I've made a real mess of things.” I shake my head, turning my focus forward.
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