Part 2 (2/2)
ELDERLY LADY: ”Sixteen”
MY MOTHER: ”L'AGE INGRAT! I would not troublepeople one never can tell; Margot, for instance (with a resigned sigh), a few years ago promised to be so pretty; and just look at her now!”
When soested that we should be painted it was almost more than my mother could bear The poorness of the subject and the richness of the price shocked her profoundly Luckily reed with her, though not for the sa the girls, even if I were fool enough to have the , ”Hold yourself up!” or kissing , ”Don't frown!” And I shall never cease being grateful for this, as a l'heure qu'il est I have not a line in e
My ht almost say suspicion of-- other people always amused me:
”I am sure I don't knohy they should coarden!” Or, ”I cannot help wondering as at the back of her ested that perhaps the lady she referred to had no mind, my mother would say, ”I don't like people with ARRIERE-- PENSEES”; and ended , ”It looks to me as if she had a poor circulation”
My mother had an excellent sense of humour Doll Liddell [Footnote: The late AGC Lidell] said: ”Lucy has a touch of enius” And this is exactly what ht her a calreen flies off plants and incapable of deep feeling, but my mother's heart had been broken by the death of her first four children, and she dreaded emotion Any attempt on my part to discuss old days or her own sensations was resolutely discouraged
There was a lot of fun and affection but a tepid intimacy between us, except about my flirtations; and over theseeye to eye
My hly enjoyed all love-affairs and was absolutely unshockable Little words of wisdom would drop fro run after ”
MARGOT: ”Oh, don't you believe it, mamma!”
MY MOTHER: ”You can do what you like in life if you can hold your tongue, but the world is relentless to people who are found out”
She told my father that if he interfered with rooh I would not haveto me
I have copied out of my diary what I wrote about my mother when she died
”January 21st, 1895
”Ma and Glen isn't my home any more: I feel as if I should be 'received' here in future, instead of findingfor and caring for and to whoossipy trivialities were precious and all my love-stories a trust How I WISH I could say sincerely that I had understood her nature and sy she could say and had EAGERLY shown ht hersLucky Lucy! She CAN say this, but I do not think that I can
”Mas Her sincerity and absence of vanity and worldliness were her really striking qualities Her power of suffering passively, without letting any one into her secret, was carried to a fault We who longed to share some part, however small, of the burden of her emotion were not allowed to do so This reserve to the last hour of her life remained her inexorable rule and habit It arose from a wish to spare other people and fear of herself and her own feelings To spare others was her ideal Another characteristic was her pity for the obscure, the dull and the poor The postloves; and we must send our Christmas letters and parcels before or after the busy days Lord Napier's [Footnote: Lord Napier and Ettrick, father of Mark Napier] coachman had never seen a comet; she would write and tell hie ham and taken for a drive, etc
”She despised any one as afraid of infection and was singularly ignorant on questions of health; she knew little or nothing of medicine and never believed in doctors; she made an exception of Sir James Simpson, as her friend She told reat deal of nonsense talked about health and diet:
”'If the fire is low, it does not s'
”She believed firht that most illnesses came from 'checked perspiration'
”She loved happy people--people with courage and go and what she called 'nature'--and said s Of Mark Napier: 'He had so much nature, I aht) Of Charty: 'She has so e' Of Aunt Marion [Footnote: My father's sister, Mrs Wallace]: 'She is unfortunately inferior' Of Lucy's early friends: 'Lucy's truirls'
”Mamma was not at all spiritual, nor had she ination, but she believed firmly in God and was profoundly sorry for those who did not She was full of adh spirits she thought so wonderful that she kept it in a book near her bed