Part 8 (2/2)

But it is the third type of lie that is naturally of ical trickster's lie, the lie of omission, in which vital truths are omitted; and the lie of commission, in which facts are distorted It is difficult to ascertain the numbers of these types of lie that occur in business Suffice to say that the consequences of these can be great

One of the latest and most painful issues in business has been the issue of redundancy Whether voluntary or forced, it is never painless to deliver the news of job loss It is stressful for both the er and the recipient: one is ”in the know”, and the other either in ignorant bliss or anxious anticipation of the cooes that, at the peak of the latest financial crisis, an autotheand then informed that the company had to cut the o back in to the warehouse: those whose swipe cards worked kept their jobs, while those who could not gain entry had to go Their rationale for staging such a performance was to eliminate any possible (and very likely) protests Obviously, this story has to be taken with a grain of salt No coet aith such a redundancy practice, even when times were bad However, this exa-off can be, and how far so it personally

Nevertheless, it does not have to be so bad There are ”good” ways of letting go of people or delivering any bad news, and it is possible to do it with due respect and dignity:Be tactful and considerate; separate the person frohtforward about the decision; vagueness only intensifies the situation and gives false hopes to the recipient Give reasons, not justifications

Do not attear the pill” Say it and shut up

Expect a shock response: anger, tears, disbelief Normalize and validate the emotional response

Don't rush it Give tiinning of the week, not the end

Have soal, financial or career guidance

Try to create a counselling atmosphere: a quiet room where emotions are allowed to escape without fear of embarrassment

Many professionals doctors, the police, lawyers, teachers have to deliver bad news It's neither easy nor pleasant telling people they are dying, a relative has died, they are going to prison, or they have failed an exa Still, some do ”duck out” of their responsibilities and, in effect, lie

But this chapter is not about this type of lying It is about deliberate dissent, disse ”bare-faced” lies not to prevent hurt in others, but to prevent the teller fro untruths ais that happened (or were planned) It is frequently ally and ethically indefensible Liars can choose not to lie It is a deliberate act which ood or bad person, with or without adequate justification

Because to accuse another of being a liar is a serious social accusation, there are a range of synonyms and distinctions that area lie or the way in which they lie

The tere, be it on animals or on soldiers' tents, is an atteery are also atte are used not only by actors, criminals and spies, but by all sorts of ordinary people in an atteuise their real appearance Many of these attempts at deception are considered to be socially acceptable, sometimes even necessary There are essentially only tays of lying: to conceal or to falsify As noted earlier, conceal speeches and in viva-voce examinations, people strive to ”hold their nerves”: to appear more confident than they feel They s, the use of particular thought-patterns, or other tricks that may or may not be successful All this is considered to be normal, healthy even desirable

But there is, of course, another less acceptable, but no doubt equally co lies There are as a result all sorts of synonyms that attempt to normalize the act and make it more acceptable But a lie is quite simply a falsehood; an untruth

A broken prouous statement are not really lies Note what Ek how and when people lie and tell the truth can help in understanding many human relationshi+ps There are few that do not involve deceit or at least the possibility of it Parents lie to their children about sex to spare thee they think their children are not ready for, just as their children, when they become adolescents, will conceal sexual adventures because the parents won't understand Lies occur between friends (even your best won't tell you), teacher and student, doctor and patient, husband and wife, witness and jury, lawyer and client, salesperson and custo is such a central characteristic of life that better understanding of it is relevant to almost all human affairs Advice columnist Ann Landers has a point when she advises her readers that truth can be used as a bludgeon, cruelly inflicting pain Lies can be cruel too, but all lies aren't Some lies, many fewer than liars will claim, are altruistic Some social relationshi+ps are enjoyed because of the myths they preserve But no liar should presume too easily that a victim desires to be ht to expose every lie So certain lies ists distinguish between several categories when looking at lying in interviews One is between attribution a tendency to attribute only desirable characteristics to oneself, and denial the tendency to deny undesirable characteristics In effect, both h people do seem to prefer one over the other Another distinction is made between self-deception when people believe their own positive self-reports or lies, and iement when respondents consciously dissiht” impression

There are a number of distinctions that can be made in this area:Errors of o out facts (usually undesirable ones) Thus a job applicant e, education, jail sentences or bankruptcy People believe that failing to declare so a deliberate lie That, of course, depends on the situation and the ethical code of the judge In contrast, errors of cogeration or fabrication and are done consciously with a specific purpose in ement Some people cannot, as opposed to will not, tell the truth Self-deception involves conscious deception that a person does not believe is a lie It is people believing in their own positive reports: sohtful, huests that they are not Alternatively, a person rade they felt they deserved or hoped for rather than the one they received, to make a better impression They s, intentions and behaviors that are patently at odds with those of others And they feel this to be a quite an acceptable act: certainly not a lie In this sense they are not lying, but neither are they telling the truth

Self-deceiving is different froood impression”, and may involve serious lies of omission and commission Self-deceivers are in a sense deluded, but they do not have to have a ement is about what is now called ”spin” Reports

WHY DO PEOPLE LIE?

Ekman (2001) believes there are essentially nineThey are: 1 Punishenuine offence, everyone tries to avoid being caught This is theboth children and adults

2 Reward ripping If the ”forbidden fruit” is too irresistible and can only be obtained through a lie, e in misbehavior This is the second

3 Protection of others fros

4 Protection from physical threats Ekirl lying about having a boyfriend who is picking her up frohtclub to avoid unwanted attention from other males would be an example of such a lie

5 Approval of others

6 Excuses that grant us leave in unco to have very iinary phone call to h to supply an excuse fro that lets them escape without the need for another explanation

7 E a socially acceptable excuse for your behavior instead of revealing a real, perhaps hu, one

8 Confidentiality preservation However, because no warning is given about such an intention, this would count as a lie

9 Control and influence over others by deciding which information should or should not be revealed to the to Vrij (2000) people lie to make a positive impression on others; to protect thee; to avoid punishment; to benefit others; and to facilitate social relationshi+ps

Clearly, some people lie better than others Actors and politicians are skilled at this activity Machiavellian ood too, as are adaptable and social people Various factors, other than the liar's personality, increase their effectiveness and the probability of not being caught But the chances of catching liars rise if the individuals are known to the lie-catcher; if they are fa, introverted or self-conscious; and if the liar is froround as the lie-detector

CATCHING LIARS: WHY THEY FAIL

Psychopaths rarely get caught lying in everyday life Politicians, doctors and salespeople have to learn to disguise emotions and present their case in a particular way But other people are unable to keep a ”straight face” and sotheto Ekman (2001), there are essentially five reasons (listed belohy liars get caught out They leak cues to their deceit in their body, voice or words

Lack of preparation (bad lines) A good lie requires preparation, rehearsal and ood liar should be able to anticipate when it is appropriate or necessary to lie; when to be inventive; that they must remain internally consistent; and that the story ht wordsabout what to say Lies take rehearsal and being word-perfect Curiously, where people are over-rehearsed, over-consistent and overwhelh their over-preparation Con- the saain They, however, often look too confident, their story appears too coherent They do not display enough anxiety that one would associate with the occasion Thus, while a lack of preparation is surely going to get you caught out by an inquisitive questioner, an over-rehearsed alibi coupled with unemotional confidence is also very likely to arouse further suspicion

Lying about feelings (emotional escapes) Lies that involve emotions are more difficult to carry off than lies about actions, facts, intentions, plans or thoughts When a person is es occur automatically (in the central nervous systeered by particular er and so on return in the re-telling, but if they are not present this ry when one is not or cal upset or angry takes considerable acting skill Perhaps even harder is the conceal a lie about a powerful emotional experience such as an accident or a criuilt) If a person feels guilty, silly or vulnerable about their deception (tax evasion, eered which may be difficult to conceal Thea serious lie, the uilt arisesthan from the lie itself It increases when the lie is selfish, when the deceit is unauthorized, when the liar is ill-practiced, and when the liar and his or her target are similar in terms of personality and social values Guilt leads to shame, which is manifested in eye contact, body posture and so on

Fear of being caught Also called detection apprehension, this concerns being fearful about being caught and punished for the deception in the first place This fear is a function of a belief in the aptitude and skill of the lie detector Soood at detection: police officers, psychologists and psychiatrists, custo suspicious and difficult to fool, thus are likely to increase fear in the liar, which may show up in a variety of emotional expressions

Some people seem to be natural liars, but others are easily detected when telling any lies Natural liars (excluding psychopaths) tend to be individualistic and coh the stakes are (what is involved for the liar): the reater the detection apprehension There are two punish the lie and that for the lie failing The latter is about losing trust and being labeled a liar

According to Ek a lie is the greatest under eight very specific circuh to fool;the target starts out being suspicious;the liar has had little practice and no record of success;the liar is specially vulnerable to the fear of being caught;the stakes are high;both rewards and punishments are at stake; or if it is only one or the other, punishreat, or the punishreat that there is no incentive to confess;the target is no way benefits fros about lying, not feelings about guilt At extres of self-worth which can very quickly manifest the naturally tend to be the uilt-prone The psychopath, of course, does not suffer frohly specific conditions which see on the individual in question It has to be pointed out that lying is an extremely idiosyncratic behavior While so situations, they are not necessarily exhibited by all liars Moreover, these behavioral patternsbut be caused by coain, Ekht of these et is unwilling;The deceit is totally selfish, and the target derives no benefit froains;The deceit is unauthorized, and the situation is one in which honesty is authorized;The liar has not been practising the deceit for a long tiet share social values;The liar is personally acquainted with the target:The target can't easily be faulted as et to expect to be misled; just the opposite, the liar has acted to win confidence in his trustworthiness (pp 756) Duping delight Soht paradoxically because of the observable and puzzling post-lie relief, pride, even ss are not concealed and this can be difficult it can lead to the liar getting caught People can teaht This proble to Eket poses a challenge, having a reputation for being difficult to fool;The lie is a challenge, because of either what must be concealed or the nature of whator know about the lie and appreciate the liar's skilful perfor lies, for many reasons Vrij (2000) lists seven First, people do not actually want to know the truth Second, there are no typical deceptive behaviors applicable to all people Third, the difference between liars and truth-tellers are very small Fourth, the rules of conversation prevent lie detectors fro an accused liar properly Fifth, observers' judgment is often affected by their personal biases, misbeliefs and syste behavior, though many believe that to be true And, finally, most observers fail to take individual differences into account

Helpfully Vrij (2000) provides the guidelines shown in the box below to uncovering deception via nonverbal behaviors

1 It is only possible to detect a lie via nonverbal clues if the liar experiences souilt, or if the lie is too complicated or complex to concoct