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BODY LANGUAGE IN BUSINESS

Decoding the Signals

Adrian Furnhaeniya Petrova

PREFACE

This is a second edition of a short book on a si and extending, which was, overall, both an interesting and an areatly expanded book contains material from the first edition and other pieces we have written on related topics However, we have revised and integrated thisnew book We have atte, book

Judging by the nuht and read on this topic it appears that a great nue This is not that surprising, given its intrigue and auities We all appreciate how important it is as a reat deal of nonsense written about body language Academic studies have been erated claims spread around We have endeavoured to produce a useful and practical guide to body language which is informed by the research on the topic Enjoy

ADRIAN FURNHAM

EVGENIYA PETROVA

Every effort has been ht-holders for work used in this book, but if any have been inadvertently overlooked the publishers will be pleased to ements at the earliest opportunity

1

INTRODUCTION

This book is about body language: signals we send out and receive, es we transmit and decipher, and ”statee is the most primitive system of comdoe information about our claim to territory and status, as well as our mate preferences and deepest desires We use it in the boardrooreat or little effect We send out and decode es of interest and concern, hope and despair, belief and disbelief in the office every day It is the language we all speak regardless of background or upbringing It is in our ”DNA”: it is a part of our human nature, the very stuff of communication

Of course, it is not all there is to couistic abilities are much more complex and ubiquitous phenomena that let us articulate such concepts as spacetis are often easier to express by means other than, or in addition to, words and sentences Emotions, in particular, are hard to put across verbally (or all the talking therapies would have been dead by now), as are expressions of abstract beliefs Pain, for example, is difficult to describe, as are coesture

In this book we seek to clarify a few issues First, we pose and answer the question: What does it entail to coe; what sort of information do we send, to whom and under what circumstances? Chapter by chapter we introduce and evaluate the different es Gestures, body positions, facial expressions, vocal tones, touch, ses about e are and hoe feel

Second, we deal with the issues of how body language can be used and, regrettably, sometimes abused, to mis-communicate There is much confusion (and dare we say nonsense) about how to interpret nonverbal signals Hence a delicate balance needs to be struck between reading too nals Further, while we all praise ourselves as natural ”man and wo fake body language We include a co and how to detect it that deals with this issue

Finally, we choose to concentrate on practical applications of these facts and observations to the world of work and business Whether you ”live to work” or ”work to live”, you otiate, present and sell (yourself, your ideas or products) at soe is important at work, from the selection interview to the farewell speech Awareness of, and ability to e and read that of others is at the heart of business success, whatever the business Nonverbal coanda, PR,how these silent signals work can be a crucial asset to business as well as to consumers' education

Most of our adult life is spent at work In the words of Steve Jobs, the chief executive officer (CEO) of the Apple computer company, and the person with the most appropriate surnae part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work And the only way to do great work is to love what you do” This book will not teach you how to find that dreaive you practical tips and advice about how to beco the body language of others and displaying appropriate body language yourself

WHAT IS BODY LANGUAGE?

Bodily co so Of course, not all the ”signals” a person sends are intentional and often they are not ”picked up” or are misinterpreted Nonverbal behavior, as we shall see, is complex, subtle andcertain rules) but is more likely to be unstructured; it e, which comes in disconnected units; it may be learnt, but soht-” as opposed to ”left-brained”

It is no wonder that so e We are all ”huists, partly because we have to be In every aspect of communication at work the selection interview, the annual appraisal, the boardwe need to observe others carefully to try to understand better what they are feeling as well as what they are (really) saying Being adults, we are all skilful deceivers; we have learnt, for myriad reasons, to present ourselves in a particular way; to e the impression we leave; not always to say directly e s); to sell products or ideas; and to explain away some undesirable behavior

Politicians and CEOs are often trained by actors to present themselves in a particular way They know that while they may have very clever speech writers, it is as much about how the speech is delivered as what is said This is very ie, where the ca or occasional scowls by important speakers Experts now record speeches and analyze fraes in facial expressions and body move insincere All actors know the i a character; as do comedians who erated, can i to ies conveyed by different body signals, particularly emotional states and attitudes to oneself and others, are in some way nals, which may or may not be picked up in the coeAnd indeed, receiversup For example, most people are not aware of the dilation of their pupils; nor are observers aware that they can on specific occasions respond positively to dilated pupils (when people are sexually aroused)

There are many ways to define and delineate nonverbal behavior One feature concerns whether it is speech-related or speechindependent Another is in terms of its social functions We know that nonverbal behaviors (NVBs):repeat, echo and e said;coes;conflict, contradict or confuse verbal es to show ambivalence or cover up motives;substitute words;underline, accentuate, punctuate and e

Body language can be subtle or blatant; it can be consciously sent and unconsciously received; it can be carefully practised and displayed but also physiologically uncontrollable; it can let you down by revealing your true beliefs and behaviors, but also (when learnt) help enorestures, head and gaze movements, body contact and orientation, sheer physical proximity as well as tone of voice, clothes and body adornesand some of these are even intended!

Consider the ability of actors on the silent screen (Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Harold Lloyd, for example) to communicate They had to be very perceptive students of expression They used sign language (gestures to replace words, nu array of s Nonverbal communication is a more primitive and often more powerful s may be better expressed nonverbally than verbally, partly to keep thees can also be sent through the imprecise channel of nonverbal communication Cultures, as we shall see, develop specific rules about nonverbal communication, often set out in etiquette books, such as when, where and why to touch others, how to give greetings and so on

Nonverbal co ternals such as the emotional tone of speech, which is clearly very ie also excludes vocal cues Coiver and sender (encoder and decoder) are conscious speakers of the saes may or may not be intentionally received nonverbally Equally, unintentional es may be unintentionally sent and received

NATURE OR NURTURE?

Most human characteristics are the products of nature and nurture, which are difficult to separate Certainly, we learn at school, at home and from the media the acceptability or unacceptability of various behaviors touch, gesture, eye gaze But is it hard-wired? Are we born with a ”body language instinct”? Below is the evidence for the nature side of the debate

Blind children who could not have learnt behaviors such as s from observation, still display thenizable emotions such as joy, surprise or interest, and a response to pain They also starttheir mothers' facial expressions very shortly after birth

Identical twins separated soon after birth and raised apart show strikingly similar NVBs such as posture and head movee of eer and fear, in a very similar way to humans

Cross-cultural studies done in various countries on all continents show that people not only express basic eust, sadness), but also recognize them without hesitation

In this book we choose to define body language quite broadly By nonverbal co to visual, vocal and sensory inputs as well as subtle, but pervasive, social markers such as dress, color and objects hich we surround ourselves While such a definition ht seem unconventional, it allows us to make the most co topic