Part 11 (1/2)
Quite natural, of course A terrible injustice has been done him[9] It is remarkable that the false accusations have not driven hireat perseverance, aye, e of no mean order, in his survival in the movement It was that which first awakened my interest in hiested hostile personal feeling What a tremendous sensation I created at the first Jewish Anarchist Conference by deated! The result entirely failed to substantiate the accusations But the Mostianer were not convinced, blinded by the vituperative eloquence of Most And nownow, again, they will follow, as blindly To be sure, they will not dare take open stand against my act; not the Jewish comrades, at least After all, the fire of Russia still smolders in their hearts But Most's attitude toward me will influence them: it will daanda The burden of h my act will fall on the Girl's shoulders She will stand a lone soldier in the field She will exert her utmost efforts, I am convinced But she will stand alone Fedya will also remain loyal But what can he do? He is not a speaker Nor the rest of the commune circle And Most? We had all been so intimate It's his cursed jealousy, and cowardice, too Yes, mostly cowardice--he can't be jealous of me now! He recently left prison,--it ! He will andistic influence altogether Now I stand alone--except for the Girl--quite alone It is always so Was not ”he” alone, my beloved, ”unknown” Grinevitzky, isolated, scorned by his comrades? But his bombhow it thundered
[9] Joseph Peukert, at one ti the German Anarchist Neve into the hands of the police Neve was sentenced to ten years'
prison Peukert always insisted that the accusation against hi the Socialists It is certain that the arrest of Neve was not due to calculated treachery on the part of Peukert, but rather to indiscretion
I was just a boy then Let me see,--it was in 1881 I was about eleven years old The class was asse after the noon recess I had barely settled inpointer was dancing a fanciful figure on the gigantic map of Russia
”What province is that?” he demanded
”Astrakhan”
”Mention its chief products”
Products? The nah my mind He was in Astrakhan,--I heard Maxim tell mother so at dinner
”Nihilists,” I burst out
The boys tittered; sorew purple He struck the pointer violently on the floor, shi+vering the tapering end
Suddenly there broke a roll of thunder One--two-- With a terrific crash, thepanes fell upon the desks; the floor shook beneath our feet The room was hushed Deathly pale, the teacher took a step toward the , but hastily turned, and dashed from the room The pupils rushed after him I wondered at the air of fear and suspicion on the streets At home every one spoke in subdued tunes Father looked at mother severely, reproachfully, and Maxim was unusually silent, but his face seeht, alone with me in the dormitory, he rushed to my bed, knelt at my side, and threw his arms around htened me ”What is it, Maximotchka?” I breathed softly He ran up and down the roolorious!
Victory!”
Between sobs, solewords: Will of the People--tyrant rehts overwhelm ly far away--it has abandonedof fire engines, the shrieking of river sirens, accentuate e, palpitating with vitality, intent upon its wonted course How un into the darkness,--like a furnace spark belched forth aht
The ate of life
Every approach they guard, lest I enter back--I and the others here
Poor unfortunates, how irritated and nervous they are growing as their trial day draws near! There is a hunted look in their eyes; their faces are haggard and anxious They eakly, haltingly, ith the long days of waiting Only ”Blackie,” the young negro, remains cheerful But I often miss the broad smile on the kindly face I am sure his eyes wereThey had been sentenced to death Joe, a boy of eighteen, walked to the cell with a firm step His brother Pasquale passed us with both hands over his face, weeping silently But the oldthe hall him suddenly stop For athe iron railing, his body falling lied hi the stone with a dull thud, the fresh crilassy torpor in his eyes Suddenly he stood upright His head thrown back, his aruished, ”O Santa Maria! Sio innocente inno--”
The guard swung his club The old man reeled and fell
”Ready! Death-watch!” shouted the Warden
”In-no-cente! Death-watch!” mocked the echo under the roof
The old onized cry; its black despair chills my marrow Exercise hour has become insupportable The prisoners irritaterows unbearable The constant cruelty and brutality is harrowing I wish it were all over The uncertainty ofnow almost two months My court speech is prepared I could die now, but they would suppress norant of my aim and purpose
I owe it to the Cause--and to the true comrades--to stay on the scene till after the trial There is nothing more to bind anda will be exhausted Death, suicide, is the only logical, the sole possible, conclusion Yes, that is self-evident If I only knew the date of my trial,--that day will be my last The poor old Italian,--he and his sons, they at least knohen they are to die They count each day; every hour brings theed here, in the jail yard Perhaps they killed under great provocation, in the heat of passion But the sheriff will murder them in cold blood The law of peace and order!
I shall not be hanged--yet I feel as if I were dead My life is done; only the last rite remains to be performed After that--well, I'll find a way When the trial is over, they'll return e on it--on the stone floor--very quietly, at night--
”Number six, to court! Num-ber six!”