Part 37 (2/2)

Inspectre Hovis was in the thick of the fighting. A lesser man would surely have perished, but not Inspectre Hovis. His blade was in play to pleasing effect.

The big green thingys that Arthur had so hastily conjured by the multiplication of Colin, weren't really up to the required standard. The great detective was cutting the proverbial b.l.o.o.d.y swathe through them.

'Have at you,' he cried time and again.

As no more travellers could possibly squeeze through the portal and into the great hall, those that remained outside, about twenty-two thousand of them, rushed back down the hill towards the police, who were advancing up it.

Chief Inspector Lytton was leading the way. On foot.

'Retreat,' he shouted. And squad cars to each and every side of him, did just that.

'Lads,' called the chief inspector, suddenly all on his ownsome. 'Lads?'

'Kill the pig,' cried the voice of the mult.i.tude.

'Get in,' said Arthur Kobold.

'Get in?' asked Anna. 'To this?'

'It's an ice-cream van,' said the king. 'I don't want to get into an ice-cream van. Look, my nice silver car is back. Hugo must have returned it.'

'Trust me, sire,' said Arthur Kobold. 'We need to slip away unnoticed. Your nice silver car will only draw attention to us.'

'We could use my special birthday spell. Move faster than time.'

'I broke your spell. It won't work again for another year. Please get into the van.'

'Perhaps we could take a taxi or something.''Do you see a taxi, sire?'

'No,' said the king. Although in fact he really should have been able to see a taxi. Terence Arthur Mulligan's taxi. But the king couldn't see it, because it wasn't there any more.

'I don't want to be driven around in a rotten old ice-cream van.' The king stamped his foot.

'Stop!' shouted Cornelius Murphy, emerging from the secret pa.s.sage with Tuppe puffing hard on his heels.

'All aboard,' said the king. 'Mine's a banana sundae.'

The portal door of the king's private car park swung open to the outside world and the ice-cream van pa.s.sed through it.

'Quickly,' said Cornelius. 'I'm being as quick as I can.'

'Sorry,' Cornelius scooped up the Tuppe and hastened towards Rune's silver car. 'We've got to get after them.'

'Another car chase,' said Tuppe. 'Oh goody goody. Just what I need.'

Cornelius flung open the car door and flung Tuppe into the pa.s.senger seat and himself down behind the wheel. The keys just happened to be in the dashboard.

'Up and away,' cried Cornelius Murphy. Wheels went skid, the engine didn't go glug glug, but roar, and the silver car streaked out into the night.

'Arthur, are you really sure you know how to drive this thing?'

'Of course I do. It's very fast for an ice-cream van.

In the back the king lurched from side to side. Anna ducked these lurches as best she could. The king was a real s.p.a.ce-filler.

Arthur raked the ice-cream van along a row of parked cars.

'I'm getting the measure of this, Your Majesty.'

'Oh no.' The king stared out through the back window. 'That Murphy is chasing us. And in my favourite car.'

'The game's up.' Anna dodged the mighty pos-terior. 'Surrender now, before Kobold gets us all killed.'

'Don't be ridiculous.' Arthur dragged the steering wheel to the right and the van went round a corner on two wheels.

'He's a nifty driver,' said Tuppe. 'For a fairy.'

'Watch this.' Cornelius put his foot right down. 'OooooooooooooooooooooH!' went Tuppe.

'I'm getting travel sick,' said the king. 'Slow down a bit.'

'Not until we've lost Murphy.' Arthur pranged the pedal.

'Don't you chuck up on me,' said Anna.

'They're getting away.' Tuppe clung to the dash-board. 'Go faster.'

'Get real, Tuppe, please.'

Mulligan's Ices tore out into the high street.

'Open road ahead.' Arthur did a racing-change. 'We'll lose him on the straight.'

'Oh I do hope so,' said the king. 'This is becoming a proper annus horribilis.'

'Who are you calling horrible?' said Anna. 'Just keep calm, sire,' said Arthur Kobold. 'Nothing can stop us now.

'Put it back into first gear again,' said Terence Arthur Mulligan to the big green thingy who was thinking of going into the limousine-hire business. 'Go on. You're doing all right.'

'I really appreciate you giving me a driving lesson so late at night,' said the big green thingy.'Best time for it, when there's no-one around. Back into first. No, that's reverse.

'Sorry.'

'No problem. I only lease the cab. If you b.u.g.g.e.r the gears, it goes into the workshop and I get another one. Try putting your foot on the clutch pedal before you change gear.

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