Part 24 (2/2)

”'Yes,' said the friend. 'I suppose you feel as though you are not worth a dam.'

”I know a brother lawyer who is somewhat famous for getting the clients whom he defends convicted. One morning he met a brother attorney, a wary old lawyer, and said to him: 'I heard some men denouncing you this morning and I took up your defense.'

”'What did you say?' the other asked.

”'Those men were slandering you and I took it upon myself to defend you,' said the first lawyer.

”The old lawyer took the other by the arm, led him aside, then putting his lips close to the ear of his friend, in a hoa.r.s.e whisper said: 'Don't do it any more.'

”'I am going to lecture to-night at C----,' said a pompous man.

”'I am glad of it,' was the quick answer. 'I have hated the people there for years. No punishment is too severe for them.'

”'I am particular who I drink with,' said a man curtly to another.

”'Yes?' was the answer. 'I outgrew that foolish pride long ago. I would as soon you would drink with me as not.'

”'I do not require lecturing from you,' said a man. 'I am no reformed drunkard.'

”'Then why do you not reform?' was the response.

”This coast is full of the echoes of such things.”

The Professor spoke next. ”I think,” said he, ”that there is more extravagance in figures of speech on this coast than in any other country. Marcus Shults had a difficulty in Eureka the other day, when I was there. He told me about it. Said he: 'I told him to keep away; that I was afraid of him. I wanted some good man to hear me say that, but I had my eye on him every minute, and had he come a step nearer, why--when the doctors would have been called in to dissect him they would have thought they had struck a new lead mine.'”

Here Wright interrupted the Professor. ”Marcus was from my State, Professor. Did you ever hear him explain why he did not become a fighter?”

The Professor answered that he never had, when Wright continued:

”Marcus never took kindly to hard work. Indeed, he seems to have const.i.tutional objections to it. As he tells the story, while crossing the plains he made up his mind that, upon reaching California, he would declare himself and speedily develop into a fighter. His words, when he told me the story, were: 'They knew me back in Missouri, and I was a good deal too smart to attempt to practice any such profession there, but my idea was that California was filled with Yankees, and in that kind of a community I would have an easy going thing. Well, I crossed the Sierras and landed at Diamond Springs, outside of Placerville a few miles, and when I had been there a short time I changed my mind.'

”Of course at this point some one asks him why he changed his mind, whereupon he answers solemnly:

”'The first day I was there a State of Maine man cut the stomach out of a Texan.'

”Marcus was with the boys during that first tough winter in Eureka. One fearfully cold day a man was telling about the cold he had experienced in Idaho. When the story was finished Marcus cast a look of sovereign contempt upon the man and said:

”'You know nothing about cold weather, sir; you never saw any. You should go to Montana. In Montana I have seen plenty of mornings when were a man to have gone out of a warm room, crossed a street sixty feet wide and shaken his head, his ears would have snapped off like icicles.'

”The stranger, overawed, retired.”

Alex spoke next: ”The other day Dan Dennison asked me to go and look at a famous trotting horse that he has here. We went to the stable, and when the stepper was pointed out I started to go into the stall beside him, whereupon Dan caught me by the arm, drew me back, and said:

”'Be careful! Sometimes he deals from the bottom.'

”He stripped the covers from the horse and backed him out where I could look at him. The horse was not a beauty by any means and I intimated my belief of that fact to Dan.

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