Part 25 (1/2)
”'No,' said Dennison. The truth is--' He hesitated a moment and then the words came in a volley:
”'He's deformed with speed.'
”There is a lawyer down town, you all know him. He has a head as big as the old croppings of the Gould and Curry, but like some other lawyers that practice at the Virginia City bar (here he glanced significantly at the Colonel), he is not an exceedingly bright or profound man. He was pa.s.sing a downtown office yesterday when a man, who chanced to be standing in the office, said to the bookkeeper of the establishment:
”'Look at Judge ----. His head is bigger than Mount Davidson, but I am told that where his brains ought to be there is a howling wilderness.'
”The bookkeeper stopped his writing, carefully wiped his pen, laid it down, came out from behind his desk, came close up to the man who had spoken to him, and said:
”'Howling wilderness? I tell you, sir, that man's head is an unexplored mental Death Valley.'”
”Yes,” said the Colonel, ”his is a queer family. He has a brother who is a journalist; he has made a fortune in the business. His great theme is sketching the lives and characters of people.”
”But has he made a fortune publis.h.i.+ng sketches of that description?”
asked Miller.
”Oh, no,” replied the Colonel; ”he has made his money by refraining from publis.h.i.+ng them. People have paid him to suppress them.”
”Colonel,” asked Strong, ”did it never occur to you that other fortunes might be made the same way by people just exactly adapted to that style of writing?”
”If it had,” was the reply. ”I should have considered that the field here was fully occupied.”
”You might write a sketch of your own career,” suggested the Professor.
”Don't do it, Colonel,” said Alex.
”Why not?” asked Ashley.
”There is a law which sadly interferes with the circulation of a certain character of literature,” said Alex.
”Alex,” said the Colonel, ”what a painstaking and delicate task it will be, under that law, to write your obituary.”
”There will be great risk in writing yours, Colonel,” said Alex; ”but it will be a labor of love, nevertheless; a labor of love, Colonel.”
”If you have it to do, Alex, don't forget my strongest characteristic,”
said the Colonel; ”that lofty generosity, blended with a self-contained dignity, which made me indifferent always to the slanders of bad men.”
It was always a delight to the Club to get these two to bantering each other.
Ashley here interposed and said: ”You all know Professor ----. One night in Elko, last summer, he was conversing with Judge F---- of Elko. Both had been indulging a little too much; the Professor was growing talkative and the Judge morose.
”The Professor was telling about the battle of Buena Vista, in which he, a boy at the time, partic.i.p.ated. In the midst of the description the Judge interrupted him with some remark which the Professor construed into an impeachment of his bravery.
”He leaned back in his chair and sat looking at the Judge for a full minute, as if in an astonished study, and then in a tone most dangerous, said:
”'I do not know how to cla.s.sify you, sir. I do not know, sir, whether you are a wholly irresponsible idiot, or an unmitigated and infamous scoundrel, sir.'
”He was conscientious and methodical even in his wrath. He would not pa.s.s upon the specimen of natural history before him until certain to what species it belonged.”
Said Miller: ”Did you ever hear how Judge T---- of this city met a man who had been saying disrespectful things about him, but who came up to the Judge in a crowd and, with a smile, extended his hand? The Judge drew back quickly, thrust both hands in his side pockets and said: