Part 12 (2/2)
What is that which goes from Chicago to Philadelphia without moving?
The road.
Which is easier to spell--fiddle-de-dee or fiddle-de-dum?
Fiddle-de-dee, because it is spelled with more ”e's.”
When may a chair be said to dislike you? When it can't bear you.
What animal took most luggage into the Ark, and which two took the least? The elephant, who took his trunk, while the fox and the c.o.c.k had only a brush and a comb between them.
If a bear were to go into a dry goods store, what would he want? He would want muzzlin'.
Why was the first day of Adam's life the longest? Because it had no Eve.
[Ill.u.s.tration]
Why is a washerwoman like a navigator? Because she spreads her sheets, crosses the line and goes from pole to pole.
Why is it that a tailor won't attend to business? Because he is always cutting out.
When can a horse be sea-green in color? When it's a bay.
Why were gloves never meant to sell? Because they were made to be kept on hand.
When are we all artists? When we draw a long face.
Why are watch-dogs bigger by night than by day? Because they are let out at night and taken in in the morning.
Why is B like a hot fire? Because it makes oil Boil.
Why is a schoolmaster like a bootblack? Because he polishes the understandings of the people.
When is a store-keeper always above his business? When he lives over his store.
Which is the liveliest city in the world? Berlin; because it's always on the Spree.
Why is a water-lily like a whale? Because they both come to the surface to blow.
Why is a shoemaker the most industrious of men? Because he works to the last.
What is book-keeping? Forgetting to return borrowed volumes.
Why is scooping out a turnip a noisy process? Because it makes it hollow.
Why are teeth like verbs? Because they are regular, irregular, and defective.
What s.h.i.+ps hardly ever sail out of sight? Hards.h.i.+ps.
When is an artist a dangerous person? When his designs are bad.
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