263 Thought Process (1/2)
I stood still and stared at the two woman laying on the lounge chairs in the shade casted by shade umbrellas. Upon seeing them dressed in their swimsuits, it made me feel...rather awkward. However, it does not appear that my gaze caused them any discomfort. Maybe they secretly enjoy it?
”Why aren't you with the others?” Mura inquired.
”I ugh...I was just about to head out,” I said, awkwardly taking a timid step inwards toward the interior of the house.
”Wait,” Mura's voice made me stop in my steps. ”It's a rather rare opportunity for you to be alone with the three of us. How bout you sit down here for a bit?”
I looked over at her and saw that she was gesturing for me to take a seat on the lounge chair adjacent to where her's was located. By the looks of it, I do not have the right to refuse this offer. With a scared gulp, I slowly walked over to the lounge chair she had wanted me to sit down in, walking slowly as I wanted to prolong the time before our conversation will have to begin. Subconsciously, I was probably thinking that maybe if I slow my pace down, it would cause Mura and Emilia to become impatient and rush through the conversation. However, based off of that patient smile on Mura's smile, my tactic will not work. She is going to talk to me, and she is going to stop the conversation when she wants it to stop.
”So,” Emilia began speaking. ”How're things with you and everyone?”
”Me?” I sat up tense and on the edge of the lounge chair. ”Why me?”
”Relax,” Mura smiled and said in a calming voice as she looked in my direction with a slight squint of her eyes. ”We just want to know how our problem student is rehabbing.”
”Problem student? I don't remember causing any problems.”
”Well,” Mura chuckled. ”I would say your very existence is like a problem.”
”That's...rather harmful,” I commented in my bland and emotionless manner. ”If I were depressed, I might've killed myself right here.”
”But you're not depressed though, right?” Mura said with an amused smile. ”You would be the last person in this world to become depressed, and that's metaphorically.”
”I think I know what you're saying,” I nodded, thinking back on the time in the previous timeline after I learned about Luna's condition.
Luna... Come to think of it, that facial expression I saw on her face earlier...it oddly reminded me of her in the other timeline. The slight crease of her brow and her lethargic and sad face, it all appeared to be rather similar and yet distinct at the same time.
”So,” Mura continued. ”Answer the question Emilia asked you. How's things going for you and everyone?”
”Good, I guess?”
”If you have to guess,” Emilia sighed, ”then things aren't going as well.”
I glanced over at Emilia, thinking back about the Emilia I had recently interacted with at her house. She's as if a different person when outside. Maybe it's just the persona she has to put on, but there was a distinct aura surrounding her.
”How's that?” I asked her.
”Because you're still 'guessing',” Mura looked at me. ”You still doubt people, still doubt yourself. Although, you had improved quite a bit since the last time we've talked about this.”
”Improvement, huh?” I stared blankly at the grand Oceanus Leshius that was visible from the backyard.
To think that...ever since I've received the Socialization app, I have changed at all. It's also not a simple subtle change. Even I recognized and could feel that change that Mura and Emilia are referring to. Maybe it's just the right people have entered my life, but...it's because of this app that I began interacting with them. Without the app, I would probably let them all pass me by in life, never speaking with them unless necessary and not allow our paths to cross at all.
Maybe in the times that I did not have the app, I've met people in my life that could potentially change it forever. However, my own sense of isolation must've made me miss them, made it so that my ship sailed right past theirs, never once acknowledging each other's existence. To think that...there were people in this world, that if I were to interact with them, would ultimately end up with my life being changed...
”Yeah,” Mura nodded. ”You have experienced great improvement. But...it's still not enough.”
”Then how much is enough?” I looked over at the two of them.
”When you stop 'guessing',” Emilia said with a stern expression. ”Of course, exercising caution is always a good thing, but...too much of it is bad.”
”You need to lower your guard more,” Mura looked at me with a softened, gentle gaze. ”Not everyone in this world is out to hurt you.”