174 Melancholic (1/2)

”I don't want to die...”

Her voice echoed in my head as I slowly walked down the paved riverside road. I looked over to my right, past the safety railing to prevent people from accidentally falling over, and at the wide Helliger River where the skyline of the Lumina district reflected off of its dark river surface as the sky overhead darkened as night approached.

I stopped in my steps and approached the handrail, placing my two hands on the cold, metal railing and sighed. The cold, winter breeze blew by, moving my hair in the wind and stung my face with the frost, drying the skin of its moisture. My eyes surveyed the towering skyline of the with its bright lights that dispelled the dark as melancholy drowned my mind.

What was it that I could do now that I've learned of her true feelings in regards to her fate? In the end, Luna is a liar as well, lying to me and to herself. She's weak, pathetic even, that she would try and think that if she just keep it all hidden deep within her, it wouldn't bother her. It might not bother her at the time, but it will ultimately come around and bite her when it's nearing the end. Then, well, it'll be too late for anything.

If it's that then, I'm pathetic as well. I've also kept plenty stored away in the deep abyss of my heart. Within the treacherous environment that is my abyss, some monster must be being nurtured at the moment, preparing to bite me back when it's grown to a certain point. Yet, that bite must come for one to realize what they had lost. That is why people only realize how important something is after they've lost it. That's why there are so many regrets in humanity. Keeping feelings concealed in one's heart might be a viable solution in the short term, keeping everything as is, but once the opportunity has passed, then it's all over. There will be no more chance and that feeling of remorse will haunt you. Even though I know this, I'm still afraid to face that monster straight on. I'm pathetic, just like the rest of humanity.

***

The next day, school went on as always. However, what differed from the norm occurred at lunchtime when a familiar yet alien individual marched into our classroom through the front door of our classroom, eyes alert and scanning about as if in search of someone. If my memories serve me right, she's Erith, Luna's best friend. When she laid her eyes on me, she started marching over, and on her face was a countenance of cold fury. As she walked, the other students in the classroom, Loyd, Noah, Muria, and Irina included, kept their eyes on her while remaining silent.

Erith stopped before me and looked down at me as I sat on my seat. I studied her face in an oblivious manner, unsure as to what she was here for. However, it would appear that my countenance fouled her mood even further as she brought her right hand over my left cheek, slapping me hard.

The sudden action from her drew the gasps from my classmates as they all looked over due to the loud, crisp sound of that slap. I was dazed by this sudden attack. With my eyes wide and trembling somewhat, a natural response from the pain, I slowly turned my head back to face her. Slowly, I raised my left hand and placed it on the spot her hand had made contact with my face, feeling the warm blood that pulsed through my face where she had slapped me. Then, I looked over at her.

She had a serious expression on her face and it seemed to shine in her deep azure eyes that appeared rather calm and grim as if the grand blue ocean in the eye of the raging hurricane. However, I would not be fooled by that calmness. I know for a certain that there were severe emotions that have been building up in her system, ready to erupt at any time.

”What the hell did you do?!” she whispered to me in a cold and threatening manner. ”Why has she crying?”

I would suppose that she was referring to Luna from yesterday. Maybe after I had left, she had come into contact with Luna, either through a hospital visit or a phone or video call. However, I believe that it must involve Erith having a visual of Luna's countenance as Luna had seemed to have calmed quite a bit during my departure as there was simply a grim melancholy surrounding her. However, I might be wrong as she might even be weeping afterward as well.

”I...” I muttered, slowly bringing my left hand away from the spot where she had slapped me.

I was slow in my response, knowing that despite the calm appearance, Erith was in a severely agitated mood. If it could get her this angry, then she must be extremely close with Luna. It was nice to know that there's someone in this world that Luna could trust to such a degree. Just the thought of that brought a faint smile across my face.

”You think this is funny?” Erith whispered and glared at me with those calm azure eyes that secretly burned with great anger.

Erith must be extremely dear to Luna since she did not inform her of her condition. She must not want Erith to worry about her; she must have wanted to spend the last of her days in a normal relationship with her, not wanting to be treated specially for her condition; she simply wanted to maintain the same friendship up until the point that she enters her grave. Even though she knows that this will just deliver to Erith a devastating blow when she does die, it'll probably be better than the pain I had been experiencing. If one were to deal damage, then do it all at once as the small pain delivered over a long time interval is even the more agonizing as it is multiplied with the emotional frustration and annoyance. Therefore, with that thought in mind, I decided that I must not betray Luna's plans. Even if it means I might not be able to explain the situation, even if it means I might be hated or despised by others, I will do whatever I can to protect her secret, our secret in fact. It's something that must be kept between the two of us unless Luna decides otherwise.

”What did you do to her?” she asked once again.

The smile on my face remained, but it was no longer a smile that was made due to anything pleasant. Instead, the smile had become one of mockery that was directed both at myself and at this cruel world around me. With a pair of gloomy eyes, I looked in the direction of Erith but not directly at her. Instead, I gazed at the spot on the wall directly behind her.

”Why aren't you responding?” she whispered coldly.

That's a nice look you have in your eyes, I thought to myself. It's only when you care deeply about someone that you can allow your own eyes to be filled with such hatred. That's good. That's real good.

”Alevian didn't do anything,” Loyd decided to intervene with his own testimony. ”I was with him and I can prove that he didn't do anything.”

I looked over at him from the corner of my now, half-dead eyes, taking in his attempt at protecting me. It was rather pointless of him to be honest since I wouldn't be severely harmed by Erith even if she had tried. I wouldn't let her deal too much damage to me as I still need this body to accomplish something that I had set out to do. If it was just some minor damages, then I could accept that with no problems at all.