84 Weirdness (1/2)

When I finally woke up, Loriana was no longer laying beside me on her bed. I was laying on her bed alone and surrounded by the smell of her body. Slowly, I blinked once, but was reluctant to get up. The world appeared too frightening for me, and the only source of comfort and protection I felt was when I'm surrounded by the pleasant smell of Loriana's body. Thus I rolled over to her side of the bed and brought the bed covers over my head. I then buried my face in the pillow she had rested her head on last night and took a deep breath.

This was the smell of comfort, this was the smell of peace, and this was the smell of protection. I felt my heart rate gradually slow as I relaxed every muscle in my body. I bathed myself in her scent, and slowly closed my eyes once again as I curled my legs up to my chest as I laid on my side like a fetus. When I'm surrounded by her scent, I am the most relaxed. I didn't want to leave her bed. I wished that she was still here laying next to me with her arm around my body and provide me with comfort as I suffered from this mysterious moodiness that had accompanied the reveal of Luna's secret.

How weird is it? Even though we weren't particularly close and had only became acquainted with the other person only recently, it was still shocking to know that her death was on the horizon. It shouldn't have mattered to me, but for some reason it did. The news of her death seemed to have singed itself into my skin, casting an eternal scar on my body.

I opened my eyes once again, but stared blankly into the air before me. My mind was still in a state of confusion and melancholy, and I was unable to find a way out. Maybe it was human nature to feel depressed upon hearing of someone's imminent death, but... people would usually feel sorry, and that will be just it. Only for those that one is particularly close for would one feel a prolonged depression and denial. But... there's exceptions.

I'm not particularly close with Luna, so my moodiness wasn't because of that. Rather, it might be because of who she is. So who is Luna to me? In my eyes, she's the exact opposite to me. Unlike me, she soars freely in the sky while I'm bound with chains in this prison that I've built myself. However, knowing the fact that someone who's so free and optimistic about the world would be faced with such a cruel fate... maybe that's the reason for my melancholy.

Slowly, I reached for my phone on the bedside table and checked the time. It was 8:45 A.M. at the moment. I stared at the digital screen blankly, allowing the light from the screen to reflect on my dry eyes. I recalled the promise that I had made with Irina about heading to school together, so I forced myself out of the comfort of Loriana's bed.

When the bed covers fell off my chest, I felt a frost that sent chills down my spine. I felt as if I was going to cry, but no tears formed in my dry eyes. How long has it been since I had last wept? That I do not know the exact answer to, but it must've been a while now since in my memory, I haven't cried ever since my father's funeral.

The world outside the comforting covers of the bed was quite tormenting. It was agonizing to be forced out of the comfort of her bed, but it was something that must be done. It was then that I realized how similar my situation was to a new born baby. We're both being forced out of our place of warmth and comfort and plunged into this cold and harsh world.

... I wish I can be inside Loriana, I thought, thinking about how warm her body was already on the surface. I could only imagine how comfortable and warm the inside of her body will be. If it was possible, maybe she'll allow me to go inside her and just fade away.

Because of how late I had slept last night and how little I did sleep, I decided to shower in order to wake myself. Once I finished, I dried myself and stood before the bathroom mirror. I discovered that I wasn't able to thoroughly dry my hair, but it was whatever. I stood there in a sluggish manner before the washroom mirror as a few drops of water rolled down my forehead from my hair. I didn't bother to wipe it away or dry my hair once again because... I don't really see the point or feel like I want to make an effort to do so.

After brushing my teeth and allowing the my hair to dry naturally in the air, I walked back to the same living room where I had sat in last night after I had took a shower in hopes that it'll restore my spirit. I discovered that it didn't.

The morning living room was different from how it looked at night. It wasn't as cold and it was brightly illuminated by the sun outside. Usually, when the day is so beautiful outside, people would be cheered up by it. That can be explained by how lively the city appeared. However for me, that sun was too bright and acted like a nuisance.

I still prefer the moon over the sun...

After eating the breakfast Loriana had set out for me, I changed into my school uniform and grabbed my school bag. I then walked over to the exit and began putting on my shoes. I wasn't in a hurry or anything, realizing that even though I had said I'll be commuting to school with Irina and Muria, we never specified on a time. Therefore, I assumed that the promise was voided since I wasn't sure if they had left already or not.

I exited my house, allowing the door to slowly swing to a close behind me. After locking it, I walked over to the elevator and summoned it to my floor. Then, I waited. As I waited, I couldn't help myself but think back on that interaction I had with Luna in that hotel room.