Chapter 4: The Most Important Matter in Meatbun’s Life – translated by Spence (1/2)
“Roll call! Prince, check. Gui, check. Wicked, check. Fairsky, check. Phoenix, check. Kenshin, check. Sunshine, check,” Lolidragon muttered to herself as she confirmed everyone’s attendance. “Seeing as we’re all here, I shall begin. Today is the day we start the busking tour and, after much deliberation, it has been decided that we will start the tour from Star City, then on to Moon City and finally, Sun City.”
A slight quizzical look spread across my face. Much deliberation? Throwing dice is considered deliberation? Ok, maybe if we count the fact that we took forever to choose the color of the dice.
“First, you guys will perform publicly at the town square of each city once, then at different bars a few times, and then once more at the plaza. An important reminder: after each performance remember to say that you guys are from Infinite City and that there will be a concert in Infinite City in about a month. Understand?” Lolidragon said with a stern expression.
Everyone nodded their head wearily, since we had already heard this hundreds of times. Our band’s main goal right now was to build Infinite City’s fame and get a big fan base, and also to earn money.
“Alright, Infinite Band, depart!” Lolidragon shouted enthusiastically. With our blood boiling with excitement as well, we shouted, “HERE WE GO!”
“Oh yeah, as a side note, Yu Lian said there aren’t enough funds, so she asked you guys to cover your travel and living expensesby killing mobs,” Lolidragon added casually.
Ah…no wonder Yu Lian-dàsăo took all my money yesterday. I turned and looked at the others, all of whom were wearing a grave expression. Oh lord, looks like we were all robbed yesterday.
“We’ll have to kill mobs for money I guess…” I said somberly. You’ve gotta be joking! We need to transverse the entire continent in a month, and perform in all three cities? You want me to run for president or something? Even a presidential candidate gets a jeep!
“We can use my flying carpet,” Sunshine suggested with a faint smile.
I turned my head sharply in Sunshine’s direction and gazed at him, touched by his offer. Rescuing him was indeed a great idea. “It’s settled then, we will ride on the carpet,” I said happily.
“It’s lucky that we still have roasted meat to eat.” A sigh of relief escaped my mouth as I wolfed down the delicious pile of roasted meat in my hand. Above me Meatbun was riding atop of Fire Phoenix, having the time of their lives in the air.
“Yeah,” Gui sighed, “after I wrestled some lodging money from Lolidragon, I completely forgot about food expenses. Fortunately, we have Fire Phoenix and Meatbun here, so we don’t have to go hungry.”
Fairsky and Phoenix, now slaves to the great taste of the roasted meat, lost all their lady-like composure as they wolfed down the food, eating almost as fast as me. As for Kenshin and Sunshine, Sunshine kept bombarding the ever silent Kenshin with questions as the two of them ate together.
“Where are we going to stay tonight?” Wicked casually asked.
“In the park?” I suggested. “That way we can use the money to buy food.”
“Prince, you shouldn’t be going through this…” Gui said with a pained and tender look, then suggested, “Actually, we should sleep in the town square; that way we can wake up tomorrow and sing right off the bat.”
I nodded. “You’re right.”
“What?! Sleep in the town square?” Fairsky and Phoenix both spluttered out incredulously after they anxiously swallowed their roasted meat.
“Why not? It’s just a bit of sleeping time before you log off and after you log on.” I shrugged, not caring about their disbelief.
“NO!” Fairsky shouted with a blazing red face. “What kind of joke is this? We can’t do that, even if it’s only for a little while. A girl’s sleeping form should NEVER be seen by strangers!”
Even Phoenix, who rarely agreed with Fairsky, was nodding furiously.
“Let’s stay in an inn then; girls should not carelessly let others see them while they sleep,” Wicked said while glancing at me with a meaningful look. Oh yeah, I’m one of the girls too, huh… I almost forgot. I rubbed the back of my head with a foolish smile on my face.
“Then we shall rent three rooms. Fairsky will share a room with Phoenix, Sunshine will share the room with Kenshin, and Wicked and Gui will take the last room…” I tilted my head in thought. What about me? I don’t think I can share a room with Phoenix and Fairsky, right? After all, I’m a full-blown male in game with a XX!What if the two of them decided to use force with me? …What should I do?
Yet, I can’t possibly sleep in the same room as Gui and Wicked, since I’m still technically a girl…must have…restraint… (The definition of restraint: Even though I want it very much in my heart, on the surface I must still pretend that I don’t want to do it…if only Zhuo-gēge didn’t know who I was,how great would that be! I could stare at two super attractive guys…while they sleep…I can’t help but want to drool as I imagine the scene.)
So annoying! This is the first time that I have found my tranny identity to be annoying. “I’ll sleep with Sunshine and Kenshin then.” Finally, I made my decision. It should be alright, since both of them aren’t really “human” anyway, and they are pretty good looking too.
Upon hearing that, both Gui and Wicked turned to look at me expressionlessly. Then, Gui started to show sadness, disappointment, self pity, and other such emotions across his face while Wicked squinted his eyes dangerously and fire started to sprout from his irises…
I began sweating furiously, and so I said, “Fine, I’ll sleep by myself.”
Upon arriving at the inn, I said goodbye to everyone in a plaintive voice and headed toward my room, planning on retreating into a corner.
“Prince,” Gui suddenly called out, dashing towards me. He summoned Fire Phoenix before continuing. “Here, take Fire Phoenix. Then, if you get hungry, you can have some roasted meat to eat.”
“Gui…” Touched, I gave him a look of gratitude, happily took the food supply, and walked to my room.
Once in my room, I hastily took out Meatbun, wanting to get some food in me before I logged off. “Meatbun, spit out some meat.”
“Okay Mommy!” Meatbun happily spat out a pile of meat. Fire Phoenix, knowing the drill, instantly breathed a flame out and grilled the meat to perfection.I happily wolfed down the food while observing the two pets playing at the side. They seemed to be getting along really well.
“Fire Phoenix, Meat-bunbun wants to ride on your back!” Meatbun said while earnestly rubbing Fire Phoenix’s leg with its head in a cajoling manner.
Fire Phoenix haughtily raised its head at first, then it glanced at Meatbun’s wide and innocent eyes, and sighed, (I swear to god, I really saw it sigh!) “What am I going to do with you? …Get on.”
Meatbun cheered as Fire Phoenix hoisted it onto their back with its beak.
“Fiery fly fly!” Meatbun started to shout again, and Fire Phoenix’s eyes was filled with a helpless expression as it flew in a circle around the room with Meatbun on its back.
My mouth was slightly ajar. Is this normal interaction between pets? Pets with AI are really something. Even their emotions seem so real. The helpless expression in Fire Phoenix’s eyes is exactly the same as my expression every time I have a conversation with Meatbun… I closed my mouth and continued chewing my roasted meat.
Meatbun continued cheering non-stop while saying, “Fiery is the bestest! Meat-bunbun wants to fly with you forever!”
“Really?” Fire Phoenix’s flame seems to get a little hotter. …Kind of like…blushing? What an absurd idea…
“Yeah! Meat-bunbun’s favoritest one is Fiery!” Meatbun shouted out, “Just like Mommy!”
I proudly nodded, Good Meatbun, you didn’t forget your good ol’ mom.
“Then Meatbun, would you…like to marry me?” Fire Phoenix asked slowly.
…My eyes widened with shock, and my delicious barbeque fell out of my now O shaped mouth.
“What is ‘marry’?” Meatbun asked, blinking its big, innocent eyes.
Fire Phoenix said solemnly, “I’m not too sure myself. I only know that if we get married, we can always stay together.”
Meatbun started to jump around wildly on Fire Phoenix’s back, “Okay! Meat-bunbun wants to be with you forever! Marry, marry!”
I closed my mouth, picked up the fallen meat, and stuffed it back in my mouth and continued chewing. What is this? Did a bird just propose to a meat bun? What’s worse, that particular meat bun is my daughter! This…this…is more ridiculous than a science fiction novel and scarier than a horror story!
Lolidragon’s words came back to me. I think she said that two pets can have children? What kind of messed up children would they have?! Meatbun stuffed with Phoenix meat…? That…is actually the best scenario… I mean, what if they gave birth to a Phoenix with a Meat bun for a head…ugh, I think I’m about to faint.
When I was still imagining how a phoenix with meat bun head would look like, Meatbun and Fire Phoenix had already approached me and Meatbun was happily squealing at me, “Mommy! Meat-bunbun is gonna marry Fire Phoenix!”