89 Its raining frats and dogs (2/2)
Ben was standing in the street outside his dorm with rain falling down his facealone
He went out and tried his best but it was a total failure. It was a weeknight so it wasnt going to be booming in the first place, but once it started pouring, that was the nights death knell. Everyone stayed in or went home early. Ben jumped from bar to bar but they were either empty, closed, or lacked decent prospects.
One notable thing about the evening was even though the attractive girls stayed home, it hadnt stopped a decent amount of thirsty guys from trying their luck. This created additional negative factors. It worsened Bens odds by producing an awful male to female ratio, and created a gross atmosphere for the women. A desperate guy even opened a bartender with the line ”Out of all the animals in the world, which ones ass would you eat?”
On an interesting notethat guy was Ben
It was him trying his daily divine line on her. With what happened the last time he used the skill, Ben thought it might be better to choose an unconventional option. Its too bad the bartender didnt react as expected
Her response was trying to force him to leave his tip…and this isnt referring to money…
After dodging a knife…Ben returned to his dormitory and creeped the hallsbut everyone stayed inside their rooms. Midterms were coming up and people were busy studying.
So now, Ben was outside, under the rain, cursing his misfortune. Whyd he do something so cliche? Because he read that web publishers said cliches were good…
And were even throwing contests to reward them
Also, he hoped a spectating sponsor would take pity on him during these Thirst Games…
Then, maybe a parachute would come down with a love potion to help him
What this sponsor would get out of it? The altruistic satisfactionof being a plot device
…
Exhausted, Ben trudged his way through street puddles to the edge of the park. His hazy eyes gazed at something nearby, what some would call a potential target
A trace of madness emerged in his eyesHe couldnt take it anymore!
He ran forward and hugged the target with all his might!
Compelled by circ.u.mstances, Ben was turning heel!
Why should he care anymore?!? R.a.p.e was a popular tag in web publishing
And if it went by the formula, the target would soon fall in love with him anyway
As if proving the novels were realistic after all, the target didnt screamor resist at all
Because it was a tree
With a crazed expression, Ben released loud mocking laughter into the night air. ”Damn system! Even if you kill me, I wanted to prove you wrong! When you first arrived, you said a tree might reject me! Well, you were wrong! Look at daddy now!!!”
…
The system remained silent which only angered Ben further. ”What do you have to say, huh? This is how far Ive come! Can you see my character development now?!?”
”WITNESSS MEEEEEE!”
Ruthless to the enemy and ruthless to himself!
Ben became a literal tree-huggerin order to deliver a double faceslap-KO: to the system, and himself…
…
With death approaching, Ben was losing his mindand despite the tree accepting him, he still felt hollow…