5 5-Baby Steps (1/2)

I wake up to my alarm and look over to see the clothes I picked out have been switched for others. I check my phone and see Arriana has texted me nonstop for the past hour.

That shirt wouldn't match those jeans.

How are you still asleep???

I still want to know where you were last night

OMG How late does your alarm go off??

I drop my phone on my nightstand and roll out of bed to hop in the shower. I step in before the water heats up hoping the cold will wake me up all the way. No such luck.

Fumbling into my clothes and shoving stuff into my backpack, I feel like a slug dragging on through honey. I slept wonderful, I got to bed late but it was the best sleep in a long time.

I put my backpack on the bed as Arriana slips into my room.

”Ok, spill your guts. Where did you go? I was going to stay up and grill you but I fell asleep. When did you get home?”

”Arriana, I'm still waking up, give me a bit. And keep your voice down,” I slap my hand through the air at her and sit down.

When I see her my heart sinks a little. Again, she's planned her outfit very carefully. Her skinny black jeans and pastel pink blouse, everything from the flower in her hair to her black flats is perfectly coordinated. But all I see is the pink.

”Zayne.”

”'Zayne'?” she echos, surprised.

My mind goes back to last night and suddenly I'm wide awake. Even more so knowing I'll see him in first period. I think of how soft his hair looked, and how badly I want to feel it.

Arriana's eyes go wide, ”No way!” she softens her voice to a whisper, ”Do you like Zayne?”

”I don't know, we hung out last night and it just felt good, like I had someone who really understood. Someone who understood in a way no one else can, not even you.”

She starts clapping and hugs me tight, and starts going on and on about how I should ask him out or get his number. I roll my eyes and head for the door, I smell breakfast and honestly all I want is to stuff my face.

Arriana huffs as she follows me into the kitchen. Her frustration dissipates when she sees my mom putting out plates of biscuits and gravy. We sit next to each other at the counter and praise our mother with our mouths half full.

She laughs and hugs us both, ”I remember when you two were still in elementary school. You would always eat biscuits and gravy, ever meal if you could. Now look at you, so darn big.”

My plate is empty before she lets us go. I leave to brush my teeth and give my mom a quick kiss on the cheek before darting out the door.

I mount my bike, taking off and getting to school faster than I ever had before. Even if I don't talk to him, I at least want to see Zayne, give him some subtle clue that I enjoyed last night and appreciated getting to talk so openly with him.

I walk through the door, half an hour still until class starts, looking over the mostly empty halls trying to find him. I dart to my locker and shove my backpack in there so I can go roam the halls looking for him.

Part of me wonders if I'm reading too much into all this, part of me wonders if he didn't care about seeing me again or not. It was just a conversation, just us talking through how we got here. It's not like we kissed or were on a date.

As I get closer to the Physics classroom I see him at his locker. He looks exhausted and like he's getting sick. He rests his head on his arm against his locker door, I want to ask him if he's alright but then I see people walking down the hall behind him. I start walking, to avoid suspicion, when I see who exactly is walking by.

Conrad.

As Conrad walks by Zayne he takes a chance and drags his foot under Zayne, knocking him onto his side on the floor. Zayne starts coughing.

”Uh oh boys, don't get too close,” Conrad laughs, ”The fairy is sick. Probably got HIV while he was out with the other sickos of the world. Be careful, he might give it to you.”

They all laugh as Conrad grabs Zayne's backpack and throws it down the hall.

I kick myself, I tell myself to keep walking. But I can't.

Zayne starts to stand and tries to hold his ground, but Conrad starts building up to punch him. Before he throws the punch I step between them. I stretch out my arms to get as much space as I can between them, pushing Zayne ever so slightly into his locker for effect.

Conrad drops his fist, ”What are you doing?”

”Dude, it's the second day. Can we have one day without blood shed?”

He chuckles, ”If the freak would defend himself and be a man it wouldn't happen as often.”

I fight the urge to punch him, instead think about punching myself as I sit there with the perfect way to shut him up in my head.

”You know Conrad, if you're really worried about HIV then getting his blood on you isn't a good idea. But it's your choice.”

His face pales as he and his friends take a few steps back.

”You should go before any teachers show up. Keep an eye on your health,” I fight a smile.

He and his friends take off. I turn to Zayne who has his head hanging low.

He's sweating, ”Zayne? Are you ok?”

He shrugs, ”Didn't feel well this morning. You didn't have to do that, you're lucky they didn't beat you up too.”