121 A Lone Tear (1/2)
That night Ning Fu once again behaves like a thief when he enters the Imperial Palace around midnight.
Tonight, the monarch isn't in any of the Imperial Gardens when he arrives.
He thinks that there is only one other place the emperor seems to frequent if he is not in the gardens and lo and behold!
Ning Fu finds the monarch sitting by the Koi fish pond and as usual, the other person seems to be lost in his thoughts.
He finds himself mesmerised by the monarch who seems bathed in the iridescent moonlight.
The other person has his head tilted upwards and eyes closed as if trying to breathe in the fresh air and the moonlight.
The dark eyelashes fan across those pale cheeks and it does something to his heart which seems to go haywire whenever he is in His Majesty's presence these days.
The sight brings to his mind the fact that the conversation he had heard between the emperor and his brother when the monarch said he couldn't sleep most nights because he dreams of the person in his heart.
He squeezes his eyes shut as the thoughts arise unbidden inside him and do something painful to his heart.
Ning Fu wonders as to why he is so concerned about all this.
Keeping aside the fact that the other person is his liege and he should do his utmost to help him in whatever way he can, he can't understand his strange impulse to come to the Imperial Palace every night and stand vigil while the monarch mourns or thinks about a person Ning Fu hasn't even ever met.
It's not like anybody would praise him for his efforts, rather he would be maligned for his actions that will be seen as sneaky and dishonourable.
But no matter how hard he tries to tell himself that or stop himself for coming here night after night, it all futile because his heart can never have a semblance of peace until he sees the monarch and makes sure that the other person has finally turned in for the night.
His train of thought is broken when the monarch opens his eyes.
Su Li looks at the twinkling stars in the sky and can't help but lament her fate.
Suddenly she is reminded of the old wives' tale which says that the departed souls of our loved ones turn into stars that twinkle in the sky and they can hear the words of the living.
She knows its juts a tale to soothe the hearts of grieving people but on a whim, she voices her thoughts.
”I don't know if you can even hear me or not. On one hand, I hope you can so that I can tell you the words in my heart but on the other hand, I hope you don't because I know you wouldn't be proud of how I am living my life.”
She felt bitter self-loathing rise up in her heart but she paid it no mind.