Chapter 197 - Late night jitters (2/2)

Worry slowly shifted to surprise as Arei's eyes widened. ”Does that mean your memories are coming back?”

Jos slowly lowered her hands and peered up into his stormy eyes. She held his gaze as she nodded. ”I can't make too much sense of them right now. They are coming back too quickly... but every time you touch me... certain faces you make...” She gulped past a lump in her throat as her cheeks began to redden. ”When you kissed me just now... it causes more and more of them to come back...”

His eyes widened even more. Without another word, Arei quickly stood and pulled his shirt off over his head. Jos shot up onto her elbow, her mouth dropping open. ”Wait! I didn't mean I wanted-” His wide mischievous smile cut her words off.

He tossed the shirt onto the armchair behind him, not taking his eyes off her. ”I wasn't thinking of that either...” He moved over to the sofa and lifted her slightly, sliding onto it and pulling her back against his chest. He rested one arm against his bent knee and reached around her for her hand with the other. Pressing her finger out with his own, he glided it over the tattoo on his arm. ”You used to trace this one just like this anytime you were nervous or bored.”

Another flash of memories hit her hard. She winced against the pain as she pulled her hand out of his grip and moved it back to her head.

”It worked didn't it?” He asked.

She nodded. ”I did it on horseback a lot... I remember that part from before I lost my memories... but apparently... there were other times...” Embarrassment colored her words as more graphic memories began to hit. She could hear the smile in his voice as he answered.

”It was something you did often... maybe not only when you were bored or nervous.” He carefully turned her in his arms and pressed her hand against his chest. ”And this one...”

Her eyes widened as they settled on the nearly mirrored stallion heads and the trident running down it's center. She traced her fingers over the wings of one, before trailing over the fin of the other. She lifted her gaze to his. ”I...” She shook her head as she turned away. She pushed away from him and sat up on the opposite end of the sofa. ”We shouldn't... not now...”

He sent her a crooked smile as he sat up. ”What is it exactly that we shouldn't be doing?”

Her eyes met his. ”You know exactly what I mean when I say we shouldn't...” Her gaze fell back to his bare chest.

His smile widened exposing straight white teeth. He placed the tip of his pointer finger under her chin and lifted it as he leaned closer to her. ”No, Kitten, I don't. Why don't you enlighten me?” He barely brushed his lips across hers in the hopes of teasing out at least a fraction of the maddening passions she had once held for him.

”This...” She breathed against his lips. She placed a hand on his thick, hard thigh for balance. ”You could only be doing one of two things... pushing for something I'm not willing to give... or-” Her words were cut off by another brush of his lips this time against her throat. ”Oh-or... trying to force more memories forward...”

His lips turned up into a wicked smirk as he pressed another teasing kiss to her collar bone. ”You should know by now a kiss is typically only as much with me. I would never push you into more unless I thought you were ready... or take it yourself...” He met her gaze from where his head still lingered over her shoulder.

”So then you're pushing for more memories- ah...” She struggled against a m.o.a.n as he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the inside of her wrist. ”-But I have to tell you-ooow...” She squeezed one eye tightly shut as she tried to explain the current flash of memories his teasing was causing. ”The images that I'm getting are so rapid and so many at one time... I couldn't decipher them if I had too.”

”That may be true for now,” He said as he lifted the other wrist to his lips. ”But eventually you will, and when that happens, I want to make sure there are plenty of good ones.” He smiled as he watched her face flush at his words. ”You know some of my fondest memories of us together didn't involve things of a s.e.x.u.a.l nature.” He held her wide aqua gaze as he guided her arm around his waist, forcing her to all but hug him. ”My fondest memories we in all the little things. You want my honesty about our past?”

Jos nodded slightly, mesmerized by the tenderness of the giant man as he began to gently run his fingers through her hair. ”Please... as much as I want to know the truth, I'll except anything tonight... Keep my mind off the worries of tomorrow.” Jos whispered as she rested her head on his chest.

He smiled down at her as he continued running his fingers through her silver hair. ”How about I stick with the truth tonight? Do you remember the trips we went on, the places I showed you?” He asked. When she nodded against his chest, he continued. ”My favorite part of our time together was always seeing the way your face would light up when you saw new things... new places. Your thirst for knowledge and quick rate of absorption of information amazed me. Your passion for learning gave me a new appreciation of the world I'd gotten so bored of. Even now, the way your eyes move across new thing or simply things your find intriguing invigorates me. It pushes me to appreciate the things around me more.”

Jos risked a glance up at him. ”What do you mean by 'things now'?”

Arei smiled down into her confuse aqua eyes. ”Like the other night when you were explaining your dream of the ball room in Father's palace. I have grown so accustomed to the gods elaborate balls over the length of my life span that I often overlook how amazing they really are. Hearing you describe it made me... feel...” His expression saddened as he stroked his massive hand across her cheek. ”I guess when you're as old as me, without someone like you to remind me of the joys to be had in life, things become dull. The beauty and color vanish from the world and all that's left is the same shades of grey. You become thankful for the moment you can close your eyes at night, and you get to sink into blackness and finally get a break from all the greys...”

Jos's brows pressed together as she pushed away from him. Sitting up and turning to face away from him, she said. ”I can't do this with you.” She chanced a glance at him. ”I know what you're trying to say and believe me I'm no light in the dark or color in your sea of grey. The only color that ever comes from getting too close to me is crimson.” She shook her head. ”I'm a monster... a murderer... I've came to terms with that... and I'll admit as much tomorrow.”

Arei caught her arm as she began to stand. ”Jos, that doesn't matter to me. The only difference between you and I is I get paid to do the things you've done. I have been sent into battle after battle just for the singular purpose of killing. Tell me, what is the difference between me being ordered to do it and you being forced to by a curse? I'll tell you the difference, I could have said no at any point. I would have been punished, but I could have said no. Do you know why I didn't? Something inside of me enjoys it. I would have loved to be the one to end some of those sick bastards' lives. Just the thought of some pedophile or rapist with his hands on you makes me wish I could have been there to make them suffer slowly. Does that make me a monster?”

Jos nodded. ”Yes, it does...”

He stood beside her cupping her face in his hand. ”Then we shall be monsters together.” With that he lowered his lips to her and kissed her deeply.