54 Ease the burden (2/2)
”You just haven't loved the right person. You're away from him too now, just rest.” He stroked her head as he rested it against him for what felt like hours.
Xavier sat with his back against the leather headboard, thought battering his brain one after another. He fought a very delicate battle between what is morally acceptable and pure unadulterated desire. He ran his fingers through the soft white hair he had been stroking for some time now. ”Joslyn?
She lifted her eyes to him, stilling the fingers that had been fumbling with one of the buttons of his unbuttoned shirt. ”Yes?”
A frown spread across his handsome face as he spoke, ”Feel free to not answer... but... how do you feel about that kid? I mean really feel?”
She furrowed her brows, ”I... I love him...”
Xavier gently pressed her head back against his bare chest. ”But you don't want to be with him?... I mean... you... do you... with me...”
Jos could feel her cheeks heat up. It was more than obvious what he was asking, and he had every right to ask... after all she had tried forcing him to fuck her twice now. ”I'm not good for him... or his sister... Our relationship was cursed from the start... I should have never given in.”
Xavier began running his fingers through her hair again. ”So you are leaving him for his own good?” He chuckled, ”I get the distinct impression he doesn't feel the same about your decision.”
Jos shook her head, ”He's too young to understand. He doesn't realize what it would mean for us to be together... what he would have to give up... Someone like me isn't worth such a sacrifice.”
Her words took him by surprise. He hooked a finger under her chin and pulled her face up to meet his. ”Why would you ever think something like that? Any man or dare I say, beast, would be blessed to have you by their side for even a second!”
Jos pulled away tears flooding her eyes, ”You don't understand, I'm too damaged... cursed even...”
Her eyes finally turned back to meet his. ”I don't even think I'm capable of loving him the way he deserves... I've caused him more pain in just a few weeks than he would deserve in a lifetime...” She squeezed her eye tight for a moment trying to ease the flooding of emotions before she continued. ”I'm broken... and for him to stay with me would only lead to his destruction... the destruction of anyone that's dumb enough to love me.”
Xavier cupped her face on either side, ”Any man would be lucky to say they know you... And I'm more than willing to burn the world to the ground for a chance to call you mine for a minute.” He pulled her closer his next words no more than a heated whisper on her lips. ”You want to forget him, I can do that for you...” he kissed her lips teasingly. ”If you can take me as I am, all of me, then there is nothing we can't work through.” He kissed her lips again this time lingering there, speaking against them. ”I promise to make you happy for all of eternity.” With that said he captured her lips in a deep, passionate kiss. Once she began to respond more aggressively, he broke the kiss. He held her face away from his and stared down at her with a pensive stare, ”Yes or no, Joslyn. I need to hear you say the words.”
Jos squeezed her eyes tight, the past weeks of all the love and passions she had shared with Russ cascaded through her mind like a reaper reel. All the happiness of her entire existence could all be found within those 18 years of knowing Russ... of loving Russ... She began nodding violently tears flowing as free as a river, ”Yes... Please... I can't keep hurting him... holding him back...”
Xavier nodded, a ping of sadness hit at the realization, her decision was still fully based on her deep love of the pup. [God, if Dante doesn't deal with that other pup bitch before it gets back to Jos, I will personally see to ripping out his innards and force-feeding them to his sorry ass!] He placed a light kiss on her forehead, cupping her face firmly. He whispered against her forehead, ”My eyes will change, don't be afraid just maintain eye contact if you want it to work. At any point, you change your mind simply look away.” He waited for his words to sink in, before leaning back and releasing her face. He sat up straight and crossed his legs and she did the same. He let out a heavy sigh, ”Remember, simply look away if you change your mind.”
Jos waited patiently for him to do whatever it is that he was going to do. More than anything she was curious to see his full abilities, to have this horrible pain in her chest to go away for even the shortest time would also be a blessing.
Xavier rolled his neck a few times to mentally prepare himself. Once he finally opened his brilliant green eyes, they shined brighter than a beckon. The whites were now a sinister shade of crimson that was so deep it nearly looked black the outer edges where the green wasn't reflecting as much. ”Look into my eyes.”
Joslyn giggled at the cliche vampire line.
Xavier rolled his eyes, ”Everyone's a critic...” He couldn't help the smiled that curved his lips as he waited for her giggles to fade. ”Are you about done?” He grabbed her and pulled her into his body for a quick kiss. ”Now if you're ready?” He forged a stern brow arch, before kissing her check and helping her back into a seated position. ”Look into my eyes. Know that as long as your eyes are able to find mine, you will never know pain. You will never know the hurt of a jealous lover or the betrayal of a disloyal friend. I will be your light in the dark, your air in the suffocation of life. You will be happy, content, and loved. I am strong enough to accept all of you and will give you all of me. Clear your mind of all the uncertainty... All the love you have for another man... When you hear the name Russell Boosilis, you will only have a pleasant memory of the child he was and the innocent relationship of the caregiver you were to him. When you hear the name Rachelle Boosilis you will only look back on fond memories of the child you helped raise. You remember none of the pain and betrayal you have faced over the last weeks. You are mine.”