74 Do I Care? No (1/2)
Vixen froze and locked eyes with Regan, his violet eyes gleaming with anger at Regan's words, ”DISGUSTED? DO YOU THINK I CARE?”
”What?”
”FOR GOODNESS SAKE, LOOK AROUND YOU!” Vixen snapped, shaking her by the shoulder in frustration, ”THIS HELL WASN'T BUILT FOR YOU ONLY! YOUR HANDS AREN'T THE ONLY ONES THAT HAVE BEEN SCARRED WITH BLOOD!”
Regan wavered, her pupils shaking as they matched with the fury in Vixen's eyes.
”I'VE BEEN HERE SINCE I WAS BORN! I WATCHED PEOPLE WANDER IN AND OUT OF THOSE IRON GATES THAT SURROUNDED THIS COOP! I'VE SEEN SERIAL KILLERS THAT MURDERED ENTIRE FAMILIES AND NEIGHBORHOODS, I'VE TALKED TO BOMBERS DAILY, I'VE LOOKED IN THE EYES OF SOMEONE WHO MURDERED ON IMPULSE AND OTHERS WHO PLAN EVERYTHING OUT,” Vixen yelled, his fingers jabbing into his chest roughly, making Regan flinch at every stab, ”DO YOU THINK YOU'RE SOMEONE I SHOULD COWER IN FEAR AT SIGHT?”
Regan's jaw clenched, ”No… BUT I DO KNOW THAT I'M NOT SOMEONE YOU SHOULD BE EASY-GOING AROUND! I'VE KILLED AND YET I STILL SOMEHOW HAVE THE PRAISE OF MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WORLDWIDE BECAUSE OF THE GAMES THESE HANDS HAVE CREATED!”
Regan looked down at her hands in disdain, ”Yes, I am nothing special in those sunken violet eyes of yours as you have seen the worst of the worst. But to me, I am the worst of the worst. The standards I held for myself, the lives I cherished, the calmness of having control over my thoughts have come crashing down.”
She stared up into Vixen's eyes, her eyes gleaming with agony and stress, but with a hint of anger directed at herself, ”My world as I knew it came crumbling down and it was my fault. It may not seem like much to you but they were my life, it may seem like I'm pathetic but I can't accept the hell I have brought down on myself, it may seem like I wander around aimlessly because I want to, but it is because I have nowhere to walk towards. I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE THIS EITHER BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIX MYSELF!”
Vixen winced at her words, the words he wanted to embed into her head couldn't find their way out of his mouth anymore.
”When I see you idolizing someone as horrible as me and then reacting like I did nothing wrong makes me feel even worse, like what I've done is nothing. Like the crisis and alarm bells going off in my head are useless just because someone has felt them before. It's not special but it's new to me. It's not entertaining but my life now,” Regan muttered despondently.
”And?” Vixen spat, his words lacking patience with a mix of empathy, ”that doesn't mean you can just brand yourself as worthless.