Chapter 196 - His eyes gleamed with a ferociousness that I had never seen. (2/2)

Eshan stopped in his tracks, perhaps despite my attempt to hide my pain, he heard me. He turned on his feet as his eyes roamed all over me. I met his inquisitive eyes, secretly curling my injured finger by my side.

His ring had scr.a.p.ed open the wound which I had forgot to bandage. The cut from the knife was a deep one, but I had forgotten about him when I saw their interaction.

Right now, Eshan did not mean to do it, it happened accidentally.

”What's wrong?” He asked while frowning.

”Nothing... Uh, I was just startled.” I lied. Eshan's expressions turned bitter.

Did he not believe me?

”Great. Just great. Apart from hiding things from me, now you started lying as well. I wonder now how many new changes I'll get to see in the future. Perhaps, I should start getting used to it.” He shook his head as he stared disappointedly at me.

His words stung. I was not lying for my comfort. I did not hide things for my comfort. I did not want him to feel bad. If he knew, he hurt me even though it was not intentional he was going to blame himself. How could I bear it? How could I watch him feel guilty? His words were too cruel.

”Eshan...” I looked at him pleadingly. He was referring to distance between us. He was pointing out the fact that I hid things from him. I did not do it willingly. Why would I want to hurt the man whom I loved more than anyone... even more than myself. Why would I hurt him?

”What else did Karan ask you to not share? Does he want to break our relationship that way? Does he think he can get you that way? Huh? I truly want to know where I went wrong. Huh? Tell me. Please enlighten me on my mistakes. I would remember to never commit them in the future,” Eshan suddenly burst out. He did not raise his voice, maybe considering Ayesha's presence.

However, that did not mean the intensity was any less. He did not need to raise his voice to intensify my guilt.

A harsh reminder of what had happened a month ago was etched in my memory, bringing tears in my eyes.

I pressed my lips tightly to not break down crying. I did not want Eshan to find out what had happened a month ago. I lowered my head, refusing to look at him anymore. I pressed on that cut on the index finger of my left hand, hoping that pain would distract me from those memories.

I did not want to recall what had happened that day. It was the day that ruined my dreams of a happy future. I did not care if I was hurting myself physically. My emotional turmoil was much heavier. I could barely breathe. If hurting myself was going to distract me from my emotinal turmoil then be it.

”Have you lost it?” Eshan's loud shout brought me back to the present. I found him standing before me, trying to loosen my fingers from digging into the wound which had started bleeding again. I actually did not feel anything; there was a weird kind of satisfaction when I saw the bright red blood dripping on the pristine marble flooring.

It was only for a moment, but that had me shake my head out of that sadistic thought process. I could not take happiness in such kind of acts.

I could not.

**