Chapter 189 - Hug me, please (1) (2/2)
His other question left my hands stilled, clutching the bedsheet in my fist. ”No. Why would I have an issue with her?”
”I don't know. You tell me,” he spoke as he came closer to me. Closer yet so distant. I purposely kept my gaze on the work in my hands, pretending to be busy setting it right until he spoke again.
”Stop adjusting the already neat bedsheet and tell me what it is.”
I didn't like his firm tone. It held the authority that he knew I was pretending but then, I smacked myself mentally. Of course, he knew. Who else would if not he?
”I have no issues with her. I am not sure why you think that I do.”
He moved a step backward and my heart sank. ”The fact that you don't make a clear communication is what weakens our relationship, Innaya. I am not sure if you realize how much it hurts... but know that it hurts as bad as several knives slashing through your skin simultaneously.”
He was hinting at our past. It made me tremble and he watched me. I knew he did because he immediately came forward to hold me but his hands stayed in the air. They didn't reach mine and it... hurt.
”You have to trust your people and know that when they hide something from you, it's only your betterment that is there in their minds while doing that,” I said and almost regretted speaking that because my voice cracked giving away, that I was breaking.
”One gets to decide alone what is better for their partner and take the decision also? A relationship includes two people. No one person gets to decide anything and when I say anything, I mean 'anything'.”
He was making me cry and I couldn't admit that.
I moved to the cupboard and pulled out my dresses. Throwing them on the bed, I scattered them and edged the closet and began setting them right. I did not know what to do. I needed something to distract me. I needed something to help me get out of this situation without arguing more with him.
Our arguments never end well these days. One way or another we would hurt each other. But, I could not do anything. I was helpless.
”Sometimes, in life, you are helpless. You don't have control over situations. Sometimes, in life, you have to do what you don't want to do but you still have to... because... because...” I could not complete it. He was not supposed to know, and I would not drag him into this mess. He had nothing to do with it. I would not let anything harm him.
If hiding truth meant his well being, then be it. If I had to suffer because of it, then I would. It was not like, I had never suffered before. I had, and I was used to it. He was not. The man like Eshan never deserved to be subjected to unjustness. He never deserved to suffer because of someone else.
”Because, what, Innaya? Because of what?”
It happened almost in a blink of an eye, that he left his place, came closer to me, slipped his right hand around my back and held me closer.
”Because of what, Innaya? Because of what? It has been a month since I am trying to know because of what?”
My downcast eyes we're fixated at his feet. He slipped his finger underneath my chin. ”Do I not have a right to know? Do you not think I deserve to know?”
Damn it.
His eyes filled with agony met with my teary ones.
I couldn't keep looking into them because it was so painful, so heart-wrenching to live every day with the pain of hurting him.
My head fell forward momentarily before I let my arms fall from his shoulders. ”Hug me, please.”
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