Chapter 176 - I want to make love to you. (1/2)

|Innnaya|

Do I get a moment to admire the man sitting opposite me on the same bed?

How did I get so lucky? The more he spoke, the more privileged it made me feel. Listening to him, I couldn't help but think about my fear. Was there any need to feel afraid before this man? If he could hold such deeper understanding, would he ever hurt me?

No.

”I would not force you into doing something which you don't want. That's why we're taking things slow. Until today, I did not feel my desires clouding my mind. Watching you only in that towel,” he paused a bit before continuing again, ”I lost control. I'm sorry if it frightened you. But know that I won't hurt you in the slightest. I won't lie; I want to make love to you. I want to know you inside and out.”

How could he maintain a serious face with all that talking? My face must have turned red by only hearing him say all kinds of things. Did he want to make love to me? Ah! Where do I hide my face?

Although I wanted to run away, I wanted to hear more. Was I being controlled by someone? This wasn't me. I wasn't so bold to sit still throughout what Eshan's spoke.

Eshan unfolded his hands across his chest and brought his right hand to my face. I curiously tilted my head along with my eyes. I thought he would cup my face, so I waited.

I waited, but his hand never touched my face, instead, he dropped his hand by my side. I frowned.

”What are your thoughts, Innaya?”

He did not use any endearments, I noticed. It made me feel as if something was amiss. However, his question put me in the spotlight.

What did I want? It was not that I not knew. One day or another, we had to consummate our marriage. For healthy marital relationsh.i.p.s, both emotional, and physical intimacies mattered. In the future, we would have kids. Kids weren't going to get dropped from heavens. Of course, we had to work for that. This matter wasn't something that could be avoided.

Was both of us going to be celibate for all our life?

No. Then, what I would do?

I breathed deeply, organizing my thoughts. 'If we are talking, then I very well try and open up as well.'

”I don't know, Eshan. Before you came to my life, I wasn't going to get married. So, I had never considered this matter. After our marriage, this topic didn't come. That pushed everything at the back of my mind. I knew one day or other; it was going to happen, naturally. This is not something we can avoid for our whole life.” I wet my lower lip. I needed water to moisten my dry throat.

Why was talking about this topic getting a little awkward? Toes of my feet curled up under the sheets, digging into the mattress. Somehow, as I talked, I failed to grasp the words leaving my mouth.