Chapter 70 - Eshans Innaya (1/2)

| Innaya |

Not too often in life, one encounters incidents that leave one debating, if to brighten up, feel remorseful or grieve on the same. I felt awful to admit that I encountered the very same incident.

I was remorseful for I had made the man feel worst who had always, always stood by my side, always lifted my fallen figure, always held me firmly whenever my inner demons tried to pull me to the world of darkness, always stayed patient and loving despite I being ridiculously reticent about myself.

I was grieving over the loss of what Eshan and I had. It was truly something else. Something so precious that losing the sense of him being with me had me lose every bit of my sanity.

A piece of my soul wanted to brighten up on the realization that I was yet to lose him. I still had a chance. We still had a chance. Our relationship still had a chance. Perhaps, he would never trust me again, but the mere thought of having the 0.0001 chance that we could get back together left me with a small, faint smile.

It had been a couple of minutes since I stepped outside the house, closing the door behind me. Though Eshan hadn't explicitly asked me to move out, the vibe had reached to me that he wanted me to leave.

I gave up. I tried my best to convince Eshan about my feelings. Well, if he refused to believe in my words then I must step back. Forcing him to understand my feelings was very cruel. But, that didn't mean I was giving up on our relationship.

Stepping back according to the situation was sometimes a better choice. I was just going to do that. I would step back for now and then would try again later.

I didn't wish to leave. I didn't wish to but I couldn't invade his personal space, not when he was already so bothered. Unwillingly, I had come out after asking him to take care of himself which I knew he would not.

I wished to stay by his side and tend to his every need.

I wished to sit with him and hear all that he had got to say... all that he had locked inside his heart.

I wished to stand there and watch him sleep - peacefully.

I wished to just stay there and let him know that, I was his. I wanted to be his, and no matter what happened, I would be his - always and forever.

His Innaya.

But, I could do none of that. None of that. It took me a long time to realize what he actually meant to me, and to what extent he affected me.

It took me long to trust him.

And, when I did - he stopped trusting me.

How awful the entire scenario was!

I knew I was supposed to leave the place alone, leave him alone, and even though it broke my heart even at that mere thought, I knew I had to do that.

'You must leave, Innaya.'

'You must leave.'

I couldn't be lingering around anymore, I commanded myself as I watched Arjun walking towards me.

His eyes held a sympathetic look in them. Perhaps, he read the agony in my eyes.

Wordlessly, I walked past him to his car parked out there and sat inside, not giving him the chance for confronting me. I wasn't in the right frame of mind to do that.

Arjun, as if understanding my silent emotions, came back and drove us home without putting me in the difficult spot that I was avoiding.

I was about to step out when we reached when his tender call for me held me back. ”Innaya.”