Chapter 63 - I dont deserve you (2/2)

Eshan's head snapped at me, his eyes had turned red, and I had to bite on my lips with my teeth. The self-hatred in his eyes was so palpable that I shivered to imagine to what extent the whole incident affected this man.

”In my mindless anger, I destroyed everything. I destroyed our happiness,” Eshan helplessly shouted, covering his face in his palm, his voice breaking at the end. His shoulders shook, indicating he was crying.

What had the one unfortunate event done to the confident man I knew? In front of his pain, my sufferings of the past few days looked nothing.

I felt myself losing in his confession. Seeing him, so vulnerable, I felt my heart going out for him. He looked like a lost person, totally broken.

Out of nowhere, I felt the strong urge to hold him, take away all his pain, and make him happy. Unable to hold anymore and watch him cursing himself, I embraced him, letting my hands roam in his hair and over his back, trying to calm him, comfort him, wishing to take away his every pain.

”Shh... Eshan.”

He struggled against me, yet his attempts were not forceful. Even in such a condition, he was unconsciously careful of not hurting me, and that made me feel even more awful. I couldn't breathe.

There was a heavyweight crushing my chest. The uncomfortable feeling was making me helpless.

”Don't do this,” I cried with my forehead pressed against his shoulder. ”Everything is okay. We both were at fault. Shh, now we are together.”

I could feel him shaking his head in denial, trying to free himself. Not giving up, I held him more tightly, concentrating on assuring and calming him and myself. What was I supposed to do in such a condition?

Eshan's sobs echoed in the silent room, his every tear scorching my heart. His sobs slowly died down to whimpers. In my whole life of twenty-two years, I had never felt so helpless and heartbroken as I felt while witnessing him cry. He was beating himself over something, which was not his fault. It was mine. I wronged us. I jumped to conclusions without letting him explain. I had my reasons, but at this moment, everything looked worthless.

Arjun was right; my past was not worth ruining my present. However, it was too late. It had ruined our present. We wasted so much time in pain, blaming ourselves, in isolation.

All of sudden, Eshan's body went rigid in my arms. I stiffened.

Pulling back, I found his eyes closed, his face was drenched with his tears. I tried calling him by patting his cheeks only to realize he had fainted.

Eshan's condition worried me very much, I yelled for Arjun because I knew he was somewhere close. Fear gripped me of his well-being. I lowered his head in my lap and wiped his face, struggling to hold back my tears.

The rushed footsteps neared, and Arjun entered running in a few seconds after I called for him. He helped me in lying Eshan on the bed before he rushed outside, telling me to sit beside Eshan.

Dazedly, I followed his order, sitting beside the unconscious figure of my husband, lying on the bed motionlessly. Eshan's apologies kept ringing in my ears as I stared at his face with glistering eyes.