Chapter 62 - Go Innaya, leave me... (2/2)
I' missed my bliss.
Until this moment, I had not acknowledged to myself how much I missed him. I thought it was because of the guilt of my rash behavior that day. Whatever I had been feeling all along was because of hurt I had caused him, at least that was what I believed.
However, at this moment, all of that seemed worthless to me, all the logic, reasoning, assumptions, and explanations, nothing mattered. The truth was straight and simple, there in my face- I had missed him as his wife. Not as a guilty person.
”I'm Sorry! I'm so sorry Innaya,” I heard his low mumbling against my hair. He was continuously apologizing, and for what, I had no idea. There had been very little to do with him, rather it was my fault all along. Had I been a little patient, nothing would have happened.
This hurt, pain we both went through could have been avoided, only if…
We just held each other close to ourselves after a long, torturous wait of sixty days. All pent-up emotions were now bared, and I could not help but weep in relief.
Up until today, I didn't know whom to turn to for help. I wanted to see Eshan, explain to him my reasons, and then maybe, I would have asked for forgiveness.
There had been times in the last two months, where I had blamed him. I had thought he understood me, but then he left abruptly from my life. I thought he had enough of me; he was fed up with having such a wife. Wasn't he the one to rush our marriage? Had he not married me, nothing would have happened.
I blamed him for my agonized self, I did, but now considering the state of man in my arms, I reflected upon myself. His broken apology pierced my heart. What was he apologizing for? I should be the one asking for forgiveness.
We sat there hugging each other, relishing the closeness. I started feeling relaxed in his arms. Some matters needed a thorough discussion. We had so much piled up in-between us, unless we talked things through, the invisible knot in our relationship wouldn't resolve. It would only hurt us.
Suddenly Eshan untangled himself and backed away little. His withdrawal shocked me to the whole another different level.
What was wrong?
Was he still angry? Here I was planning on sorting out things, but judging from Eshan's reaction, things didn't look that simple.
With his head downcast, shoulders slumped in defeat, he scrambled away from me. He was not the man I had come to know. The tear that rolled down from his eyes, brought another wave of pain. The guilt poking at my consciousness was so damn heavy to handle.
I opened my mouth to apologize, but his next sentence bruised my already wounded heart.
”Go Innaya. Leave Me.”
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