Chapter 28 - Panic Attack (2/2)

”Breath out.”

I followed the instruction his voice provided.

”That's my girl.”

'My girl? It felt nice.'

”Breath in.”

”Hold it there.”

”Breath out.”

”That's right.”

”Breath in.”

”Hold it there.”

”Breath out.”

The tension and fright slowly left my body as Eshan's voice worked as a soothing balm, I found myself being calmed down. Amma's worried eyes staring at me and her hands holding wet rag wiping my face, was the first thing I noticed as my vision got cleared. Amma stepped back, giving me space to recollect myself.

Where was Eshan? I certainly did not imagine his voice, did I?

Amma offered me the glass of water, which I gladly accepted. As I drank the cool liquid, I realized how parched up my throat was. Even in a distressed state, my eyes searched for the face of the person I desperately wanted to see, however, instead of the honey brown eyes, the blue eyes full of concern greeted me.

”You ok there?” Arjun stood up from the bed. He was the one rubbing my feet, I noted.

I nodded hesitantly. Where was Eshan? I could not have imagined his voice, have I? Certainly, I never will be mistaking someone else's voice with his. What the hell?

Agreed I mistook Amma as Grandma but that voice-

”Do you need anything Innaya?” Amma caressed my face, taking the empty glass from hands.

I just shook my head in negative. I tried to give both of them smile but I could not. It was not that Eshan was there, whenever my past memories came, bringing me to the similar condition. However, I had, had these episodes before marriage, but they were not this often and recurrent. Perhaps the growing friendship between Eshan and me was to be blamed, for the sudden depressed mood of mine. His presence affected me but his absence bothered me.

Then again, how could I expect him here, when he had no idea about my turmoil? Hell, even I had no idea that, someone from my past would come back in my life in this way and something like this would happen.

”Expect the unexpected in life Innu...”

Grandpa was right. We should always expect the unexpected. Unexpected as it was, I needed Eshan and even in my subconscious state, my mind relied on him and imagined him. The realization of how attached I was getting to Eshan frightened me.

Unceremoniously the tears trickled down from my eyes, as I closed them momentarily. Irrespective of the haywire emotions taking a toll on my mind, the most prominent was the void and unsettling feeling at not finding Eshan beside me.

”Eshan...” unknowingly the pained whisper of his name left my lips, even when I knew he couldn't hear me.

”Tesoro.”

*