61 Episode 57: Nerd (1/2)

If Llumiel revealed who he was and told the hidden history of the first king of the Kingdom of Palletia, the fathers would all have a difficult look on their face.

My father was so surprised that if he asked me who Llumiel was, he would fall as-is. No, if I try to listen to you, I'm still giving you a peek into your face as an exchanger.

Lord Grants and Mrs. Nerschel are calmly listening to Llumiel.

It was my mother who wasn't calm. My mother looked at Llumiel with an incredible, said look, and every time I listened to her, she was distorting her face with sadness.

... you're talking about getting stuck when you think about it. Those who are no longer men will be kings. And at the end of the day, I can be killed inside me. I think that story has overlapped. If I did poorly, it could have come true, I think Al has already gone far.

From the wishes of the people, it was not strange for the First King to follow any differences from his own desires. If you think about it, you will also seek regret for Al-Kun, and your mother and Lyumiel may think of her because she seems to be close.

”This is the hidden truth of history. And that's one of the reasons I warned you not to cheap on your spiritual covenant.”

”... I would have liked you to have warned me more clearly, but I don't know what to say.”

Father groans when his temples are reduced so as to reduce the headache. And face up without force, and gaze toward Uffi.

”... you think they can talk like this and say you're a king or something? Ufilia.”

”Yes. Still, let me state. That's why I should be king. From the time of Lümiel to the present, this country sanctified the feats of the first kings, whose reality is unclear. It is true that it has led to faith in spirits and magic and has supported the country.”

But take a breath and Uffi continues. I'm not lost in Uffi's eyes stating my thoughts.

”The luck of faith in magic and the Spirit is growing among the nobles of the Kingdom of Palettia. I find this impending to the point where it could once again recall the tragedy of the First King. Magic becomes the authority of the nobility, and spiritual faith guarantees the authority of the nobility. Once that admiration has passed, it is turning into arrogance, and cracks are beginning to arise between us and a people who have no magical benefit. But without the people, they are not nobles, and without nobility, the people lose their guidance. We have to prevent this fracture at all costs.”

”... um. I can see that. But isn't it a sign of the retrograde nature of the times that you bear witness to the king with your spiritual covenant?

”Yes. That's why I end it. The Spirit covenant made me the last king to strike this truth upon my country and imitate old customs.”

Yuffi puts her hands on her chest and looks over at everyone with her spine pinched.

”We are the successors to the greatness of the First King. The philosophy of the first king is for the people, not for the spiritual or magical faith. You rightly inherit the truth once forgotten and reborn your country. We have to get out of this system in order to correctly inherit the philosophy of the First King.”

”... do you deny faith”

”No, I'm not denying all of that. If you deny all of the magic, it will lead you to deny the foundation of the Kingdom of Palettia as well. So we should pray based on the right and true. There is no will in the Spirit, and he says that the Spirit's guidance is the desire, faith, and faith itself that he asks inside himself. It is only when that prayer is right and when it comes to receiving it that the path of spiritual covenant will be opened. But picking up even the most insistent wishes is personal, and it's not a political policy.”

Spirit faith may remain apart. But there's no reason to leave it as a political policy. He said that kings and nobles should only be for the stability of the country. That's why I just want to change the current system with magic as my authority.

That's what me and Uffi want. Different means, same place to go.

”If we just get out of the current system, we'll be able to do it even if Master Anis becomes king. But it is impossible to suppress rebellion with Master Anis. Master Anis has no justification in magic. Making a persuasion doesn't create the necessary persuasion. If I do, I will only shred my habits by becoming king. Because I deserve it.”

Everyone is silent on Yufi's powerful proclamation, and each is held back by ideas.

”... may I have a word from you, too?

In the air we all worry about, Lumiel speaks out to draw attention to herself.

Llumiel opens his mouth again after making sure his gaze gathers.

”I think the Palletian kingdom is thriving right now. It's not that I'm proud of you, but it's a good match for our time in terms of how happy the people seem. If there is a difference, it is not politics by individuals. Once the first king, my father, carried the wishes of the people alone. At the end of it, the greed of the people drove me crazy.”

Llumiel flaunts his shoulders and tells the facts. Perhaps only pale cares for her grieving mother. Because that gaze was directed at my mother several times.

”This country doesn't have to save everything by itself anymore. Everyone can think, discuss and hold hands. The time has come. So at least I don't think I need an old time feat anymore. Sure, I'm glad you said you'd carry on, but I don't want that to shackle you.”

”... lumi”

”I think it's good to be saved, even a king.... so I killed your father with this hand. Your father would never have been saved if you kept going like that. So I covered up the truth about the Spirit Contractor. To avoid repeating the same mistakes again.”

Silence comes again when Llumiel finishes his words.... It was my father who broke the silence.

”Why bother at all in the rest of the time...?

”Your Majesty, your mouth is overflowing with boulders.”

”I know. Wow, Grants! If you've come this far, I'll brace your stomach!

Lord Grants embarrasses Father Blur, who was holding his head like a pain. Besides, I take my seat while Father gives it back to me in frustration.

”Now this country needs a new breeze. But it must never be meant to cut off the past from the present. It can also be said about the relationship between the nobles of this country and the nobles and the people.”

”Father...”

”The rest... I could only be a heavy stone for everyone not to dispute. I didn't have the power to change times. But if I can be patient and praise you for connecting so far, then I want to believe that my governance would have made sense.”

... Wherever you look at it with your chest up, you're a fine king, Father.

”Anisphere.”

”Yes.”

”And, Uphilia”

”... Yes”

”I want to entrust the future to you. Ask on it.... which one will be king?

I grabbed my fist when I asked.

I came to the point of answering. I close my eyes to the feeling of my stomach shrinking.

”Anis.”

Father calls me. Open your eyes and look at your father.

I had straight eyes. Just staring at me, waiting for words.

I've been thinking about it until I got here. What should I do? What do you want to do? Do what's right all the time.

I'm not sure, I'm not sure. Still, only this answer has to be answered with a strained chest. Exhale. Face back firmly so that your voice doesn't tremble.

”-... I can't be king”

... I said.

I said it.

”... but”

The back of my eye is hot. But the words that follow are heavily caught in my throat.

The truth is, there's something I've always wanted to say. Until you get here, just think about it.

I was scared. I've been, I've been scared.... because if you don't say it here, you'll probably lose your chance forever.

”If I could be, I wanted to be.”

”... anise?

”I didn't want to be king, I wanted to be who I could be. As your daughters, keep your breasts up.”

I have thoughts that Yufi pointed out to me and I realized. I am Anisphere Wynn Palettia. But its contents weren't intact. I have memories of someone else, and as a person in this country, I am a heretic child with an insane mindset.

I thought it was “fake” deep down. I can't believe I'm not real. I couldn't use magic because I was the one. That's an irresistible fact, and I don't think that's why I should have disappeared. It's not like I don't like who I am right now.

Still, I wish. If magic could normally be used, I wonder if anyone could live without suffering.... That was really distressing.

”I didn't want to be king because I didn't think I could, and I didn't like it, and that's fine if Al succeeds. I don't want Al to have a seat that belongs to me. But if I'm the only one left, I've been thinking about it.”

Poirot, and tears fell. I can't stand it if I want to. I just spin my words with care that I still can't just let my voice tremble.

If such a delusion had come true. If I could fit everything together. If I wasn't me. I really think about that possibility.

It was all because I had Yufi to carry me, to make my father and mother suffer, and to take my family away from both Alkun and Lord Grants and Mrs. Nerschel. Such an idea crawls over to my neck.

”You annoyed everyone because of me... me, can I be forgiven...?

If I hadn't been me, it would have all gone well.

I can't keep that thought wiped off forever.

”... it's Anis”

”... Yes”

”I told you before. There were plenty of opportunities if I were to rehabilitate you. I'm the one who took the opportunity. You don't have to carry it on yourself.”

”It was before that. If I had been born from the beginning as a true princess who could use magic, not me… yes, I would think.”

”But if it weren't for you, magic would not have been born. And no one may have ever had doubts about spiritual faith. That could have led to the repetitive consequences of the tragedy of the First King. There's no point in assuming you're not you.”

I know that too. Now is the only time. I know. I'm still looking for a reason.

”... Dear Anis”

When did you take your seat, instead of earlier, Uffi holds my shoulder.

”It's okay now.”

”... Ufi”

”What you wanted to be forgiven for was easier.”

... what, in a way that I know better than I do.

But I'm sure you're not mistaken. I seem to be oblivious to my feelings after all.

If I don't get Yufi's help, I'll miss what I'm really looking for myself.

”If you're not going to be king, there's no point in being a princess.... What you were afraid of was that you wouldn't even be able to stay with your daughter?

My vision blurred at Yufi's inquiry. Because the amount of tears increased at once.

”No matter how much I thought I was the daughter of His Majesty and the Queen, I thought... the proof seemed few to you. So I doubt it. I try to keep the connection I have now. Because I want to remain my daughter. Different?

... no.

Tears fall. My chest is filled with thoughts. Regret and guilt seem to tear my chest apart every second of every day, and I shudder at Yufi.

”I'm not afraid of not being a parent or a child. You've always been afraid to take your daughter from your Majesty and Queen, haven't you? For who I am. Still, I can't stop myself. It's been hard on you.”