818 Long Jinjing’s Terms (2/2)
”Spit it out.”
”What I mean is that I need to be in a relationship if I'm going to sleep with the same man repeatedly!” she blurted out before covering her face with a throw pillow.
Silence.
A few seconds later, a force took away the pillow she was pressing on her face. She tried to grab it but Lu Zihao had already tossed it away at a random corner of the living room. Then he sat down beside her. She tried to run away but he grabbed her arms and prevented her from escaping.
”Look at me,” he told her.
She shook her head, too embarrassed to meet his gaze.
”I said look at me,” he repeated in a commanding tone.
Her eyes instinctively turned to him and saw his serious expression. She bit her lower lip and kept swallowing hard.
”What do you mean by that, Jinjing?” he asked. ”You want a relationship with me?”
She flushed even more deeply. ”No! I mean, uh…I don't necessarily want a relationship with you…”
He frowned and his expression turned ferocious but it was gone in the next second. Long Jinjing thought that she must have imagined it.
Clearing her throat, she continued to stammer an explanation. ”I m-mean…you said that you…want to f-fuck—I mean, have sex with me again. But I don't want to have casual sex anymore…so if I have to sleep with you again, we need to be in a r-relationship. And by relationship, I mean that you need to be my…be my b-boyfriend. These are my terms.”
Silence.
He didn't reply but continued to look at her with those unreadable eyes. She squirmed under his gaze and tried to escape from her embarrassment but couldn't move because he wouldn't release her arms. She was locked in place by his firm hold.
”I don't do that kind of relationship.”
His words sent a heavy blow to her. She smiled and chuckled, the sight bitter and the sound grating to her own ears.
”I figured as much,” she said, chuckling even more as her eyes watered. ”I'm attracted to you, Mr. Lu. T-that's a fact. If I wasn't, I wouldn't have agreed to have a one-night stand with you in the first place.”
He remained silent and continued to listen to her.
Her voice became shakier. ”But don't get me wrong. I'm not hoping for something more between us because I know that we're completely incompatible. T-there's no hope for s-something more between us, anyway. I already know that. It's just that…I can't sleep with the same man again and again but hold no title. To be just the woman that a man is…f-fucking on a regular basis is totally unacceptable to me. Not just you but any man! If I allow myself to be like that now…then what's next? Will I become a m-mistress in the future? Like my mother?”
His eyes narrowed when she said that last part. He tightened his hold on her and was about to speak but she cut him off.
She said, ”I need…to at least be able to hold my head up high and tell people that…the man I'm sharing my bed with is…is my boyfriend and that I'm his girlfriend. That our relationship is…respectable and not something shameful!”