4 Love Researcher - Final (2/2)

”I wanted to say goodbye. I'm going back home tonight.”

That took Dina by surprise. She left her bag fall to the ground.

”Are you joking?” she asked. Erika just shook her head.

”I got a message from my planet last month. They wanted to know how my mission was since they would be crossing through here. My mission is over, so…”

Dina shook her head, walking in slow steps until Erika.

”It's not over… Wasn't your mission to learn about love?”

”Yeah, and now I love you, so…”

”If you can just go away like that, you know nothing at all!” Dina shout, clenching her hands, avoiding her impulse to raise it against Erika. ”If you can easily abandon me like that, you can't say you love me!”

But what she saw in Erika's eyes were tears, and that made her anger disappear.

”I don't want to go either!” Erika cried, not able to control herself anymore. ”I don't want to go, but I can't just abandon them. I… I don't know what to do…”

Dina realized Erika's body was shaking. At that moment, probably, she understood completely how Erika felt about her duty.

”I want to stay with you...forever. I don't want to go, but I don't want to desert my mission, either. I don't know what to do, and I don't have time to think anymore. I don't know…”

She was crying and shaking so much that Dina hugged her, fearing she would fall to the ground. Erika hugged her back.

”Why didn't you tell me?” Dina asked, in a calm voice.

”I didn't want to ruin the time we had. If we have to part ways, I wanted to…”

”Will you come back?”

”I can't. For the last part of my mission, I need to be there. I have to teach them through all my life,” Erika let go of Dina and looked into her eyes. ”And I can't ask you to come with me. You can't leave your family. At first, I thought that was an option, but…”

”I see…” Dina gave a long breath. She looked at Erika with a serious face: ”I can't stop you, but let me say that: I'll wait for you.”

”You can't… I won't be back…”

”So I'll just wait forever.”

Erika smiled and inclined her head, saying:

”You'll get over it, right?”

Dina gave her a bitter smile back:

”You think you know enough about these feelings now?”

Suddenly Erika made a startled expression and jumped in Dina's arms. She kissed her for a whole minute, not wanting to let go. When she was over, she started to walk backward in the balcony direction, with slow steps.

”They are here…”

She stopped in the balcony, with the moonlight touching her body. Dina tried to run to reach her, but a strong light appeared in front of her and Erika's body disappeared inside it. Dina could only hear a faint: ”Goodbye...and sorry”.

Dina fell to her knees on the apartment's floor. She murmured: ”goodbye”, putting her hands on her face and starting to cry.

***

It was two years after she had said goodbye to Erika. Dina had finished her college, but sometimes she still would meet up you with her friends again. That night, in particular, she had a dinner with Anna. And as they were leaving the restaurant, the Asian woman was trying to convince her to go along.

”Come on. If you're not interested in a boyfriend, I know some girls, too…”

”I said give up, Anna.”

Dina would just brush her friend's invitation off with a smile.

”Look, I know you loved her, but it's been two years. Don't tell me you're really waiting for her yet?”

”I'm not waiting. I know for sure she'll probably never come back. I think I gave up soon after she was gone, actually. But you know, Anna. What we had was something special. That was actually love. I'm not sure I can feel that again, but I know for sure I can't force that.”

”Didn't she force your relationship, though?”

Dina only smiled, without saying anything. Anna sighed.

”Look, I'm an idiot. I believed your alien story because nothing else would make sense. And you're my friend. I just want you to be happy.”

”I know. I appreciate that.”

”Isn't your family worried?”

”I never told my mother anything about that. She probably wouldn't believe anyway. She asked about Erika at first, but I think she just believes she dumped me and didn't ask again. She's not worried about me being alone, though.”

”So I'm worse than your mother, it's what you're saying.”

”I'm happy by having a friend like you, really.”

Anna looked at Dina, who just smiled at her. Finally, she seemed convinced.

”Okay, then. But I'm going to that party, even if alone.”

”Yes, of course. Have fun.”

As the two friends parted ways, Dina started to walk in direction of her home. She still lived in the same apartment. Somehow she was at peace with the memories she had there. Of course, she was always thinking about the things Anna said. The truth was that even if Erika really was gone for good, she never felt the need to find someone else. She was feeling better alone.

”Hey, miss?”

Dina heard the voice behind her. The voice sounded too much like the one she heard two years ago. She turned back in a jump, but of course, it was someone else. It was the same age as Erika in the first time Dina saw her, with the same black hair and dark eyes. Even her clothes were similar. Her skin was a little darker, though. But her voice was the exact same.

”Y-Yeah?” Dina asked, confused.

”Miss, can you pay me some food?”

***

It was the same snack bar. The girl was eating the same kind of hamburger and drinking the same kind of cola. Dina was having a strong sense of dejavu, but that was impossible. She knew that girl couldn't be Erika, even if Erika could change her body. She knew Erika good enough to recognize her if that was the case. Still, a girl who looked like Erika stopping her in the street and asking for a hamburger was too much of a coincidence.

”These are really delicious!” the girl said, as she stuffed her mouth.

”I'm sorry, but I really don't get what is going on here,” Dina said. The girl gave her a curious look, inclining her head the same way Erika used to do when she was confused. Dina had to ask: ”Who are you?”

”Oh, miss. Talking with you suddenly must sound weird. I'm sorry. My name here is, huh, Luna. Cute, right?”

”Here?”

”I love this name, Luna. Oh, I also love this hamburger. I had something similar, but it was completely different. I love how the people walking around in irregular movements makes no sense. I really love this place.”

Dina just looked at the energetic girl smiling about pretty much everything astonished. She opened her mouth, but couldn't make a sound out of it.

”Say, miss. You might find this weird, but do you have a lover now?”

”I... don't…” Dina just answered in almost automatic tone.

”Really!?” The girl gave a big smile and devoured the last piece of her hamburger. ”There's someone I really want you to meet, then. She asked me not to say anything, but please, please... It has been my dream since I was a kid!”

Dina was just as confused. She didn't know what was going on and could just nod with a weak: ”y-yeah” coming out of her mouth. Hearing that, Luna jumped from her chair and grabbed Dina's arm, pulling her along.

”Then come, come with me...mommy.”

Still confused, Dina just lets herself to be guided by that girl, until they walked to the other side of the snack bar. There she saw a woman sitting in front of a table. She looked more mature, and her eyes were giving a different impression, but Dina was sure she knew who she was.

”Erika?” She said.

Erika looked at her with a surprised face. Then sent an angry stare to Luna.

”I said not! I said you could just talk to her!”

”I'm sorry, mom,” Luna said, looking at the floor. ”But you see, she doesn't have a lover, so…”

”Luna!”

Dina was still gathering her thoughts. She was confused but tried to make sense with her words.

”Mom? She is your daughter?”

”Look, Dina. Just forget all about it, okay?” Erika grabbed Luna's hand and pulled her to the entrance direction.

In a jolt, Dina grabbed Erika's shoulder to stop her.

”Wait, where do you think you're going?” Dina asked.

”I said to forget…”

But Dina hugged Erika and kissed her on the lips. As Erika let Luna's hand go, the girl just looked at everything with a smile on her face. Erika's eyes were full of tears as they stopped kissing.

”I don't know what's going on here,” Dina said. ”But I won't let you get away from me again.”

***

Erika was sitting on the same couch as two years ago in Dina's apartment. She seemed nervous, playing with her fingers like she used to do. Beside her, Luna was sitting moving her legs as if she couldn't contain her energy. She would send smiles at Dina, who was sitting on the other couch.

”So you're still living here…” Erika said, after all.

”Yeah…” Dina said. ”Erika, I want explanations. That girl is your daughter, right?”

Erika nodded, not saying anything.

”But she called me 'mommy'.”

”She is my daughter. But she's also your daughter…”

Dina stared at Erika, not knowing how to react. Somehow she was as lost as the first day they met.

”Look, Dina, there's a lot I didn't tell you at that time because it was confidential. It doesn't matter anymore. But I can just go away and you go back to your life, as it was supposed to be.”

”Mommy!” Luna said, but Erika sent an angry look that made her shut her mouth.

”You stay silent!” She said. ”I knew I couldn't trust you with that. We should never have come here…”

”Erika!” Dina stopped her, with an impatient voice. ”I don't think you get it, but I am serious when I say I won't let you go. So you can just explain everything already.”

”You...don't hate me?” Erika asked, inclining her head while looking at Dina.

”I don't hate you. I think I...still love you, even know. But I don't know what's happening here. I think I'm afraid to know. Still… tell me, please.”

Dina's tone was almost pleading. Erika looked at her face in silence for some seconds before finally giving up.

”Right… I'll explain everything. You see, besides my initial mission around here, I had another secret mission. That was, collecting samples of my partner's reproductive cells. I guess they were expecting male samples, but I did as I was instructed, even if my partner was female.”

”You did...wait, when?”

”When you were sleeping. I'm sorry…”

”That's…” Dina started, but gave a deep breath and stopped. ”Okay, that doesn't matter now. Please, go on.”

”So you see, giving the difference in the gravitational force, time flows differently in my home planet. Way more time had passed there while I was here, but I expected that. In fact, for me, fifteen years passed since I left this planet. For you, it should be around two years. Even before, when I first came to this planet, I had made some stops in the way and wandered through the space looking for a suited place. So, actually, a hundred years had passed in my home planet as I got back. I knew my mission could become irrelevant, but that's how it always was. But when I got home, a secret project that was in development since a long time ago was finished. We found… ways to reproduce between two females, using our science.”

”You… knew about that project while you were here?”

”I had some information. It was confidential, though. I couldn't tell you. But it turns out that with this project done, my mission became yet more important. We planned to start building a family system. The experiences of researched like me, who had contact with such a culture, would be valuable. But I would need a family of my own or at least a child. That's when I was given the choice of becoming a mother. And, you see, they asked if I wanted the cells of some specific female…”

”So you used mine…”

”Yes. Because I loved you, and I thought if I would have a child, I wanted she to be yours, too. I'm sorry…”

Dina looked at Luna, who smiled at her. It was a way to improbable fact that she had a daughter she didn't know with another woman. Still, she decided to accept that fact. So she just asked:

”But you're here now. Why? I thought you would be needed there.”

”It's because of this girl,” Erika looked at Luna with a faint smile. ”Even though we built a family system, it was still too different from yours. I taught them, and they did change a little, but somehow we are still a cold and logical society. I believe that's just how we are. But this girl, she was different. I don't know if it's your genes or maybe the way I raised her. She's way too emotional. She didn't fit in our society at all, and I thought she would be happier here. So I deserted. We… huh… can't come back.”

Dina stared at Erika. She kept her head down. The truth of her decisions was probably still hard for her to accept. She still had her duty with her people, and betraying them was probably not easy.

”So why avoid me?”

”Because!” Erika almost jumped from the couch to answer. ”I… I did something terrible for you, I know. I can't just go away, saying I'll never come back, and suddenly just show up in front of you again. I know I don't deserve it. I wanted you to move on, so… Also, I'm way older now…”

”That's not true!” Luna said, then turned to Dina. ”You see, our life-span is a little longer than yours, so mommy should be around your age in comparison now…”

”Luna, shut up, please!” Erika shout, with tears welling up in her eyes. There were tears in Luna's eyes as well.

”No! That's not fair! I know how you loved her through all these years!”

”I said shut up! It's your fault in the first place! You said you just wanted to meet her…”

”You both shut up!” Now it was Dina who shouted, raising from the couch. She turned to Erika. ”Erika, you still don't understand. You don't understand anything at all. Sure, it was terrible how you just left, and yeah, I suffered a lot then. You know, I moved on already. I accepted you wouldn't be back, so don't worry. I moved on, but I didn't give up in loving you...”

Dina pulled Erika by the hand, raising her from the couch. Erika's hand was shaking, as tears crossed her face.

”Besides,” Dina said, smiling. ”It has been fifteen years for you, right? You suffered way more than me. You even had a daughter to remind about us. And even if you shouldn't do that without telling me before, I actually feel like I'm somewhat responsible for this girl now... When her other mother is so irresponsible.”

Erika smiled. Her hands hugged Dina's back, as she looked into her eyes.

”So… You mean…”

”I said I won't let you go, right? I want you both living with me. Erika, I still love you after all. You know what love is, right?”

”I…” Erika couldn't talk, between smiling and crying. Dina thought about how different she was now, while still looking the same. ”I know…”

Luna smiled as her two mothers shared a kiss that night.

***

Dina wanted properly introduce Erika in their society. But for a person with no identity at all, that proved a challenge. Hopefully, she had Anna's help with important contacts that made it faster. When Dina asked where she knew them, she would only answer: ”You never came to my parties”. Soon Erika and Luna had official identities. With that out of their way, Dina arranged to make Erika her wife and adopt Luna, who was recognized as Erika's biological daughter only. She mentioned to Anna how they could actually make a DNA test and have Luna as her biological daughter as well. That would be impossible to explain, so they didn't try it.

Explaining to her family why Erika was back with a teenager daughter was scarier. Fortunately, her mother didn't make many questions. She welcomed her new daughter in law and granddaughter in the family, as she promised she would do. Sometimes she commented how Luna's manners and way of speaking resembled Dina as if she was her actual daughter. Dina wanted to tell her the truth, but it was still too hard to explain.

Anna and Dina made a point to Erika how she could use her knowledge about same-sex reproduction to help women in their planet, too. She didn't know much about the specifics but could remember some elements of their research that could be applied, if she had the right knowledge. So she applied to a science university. Since she needed to make tests to prove her capacity, getting a transcript for high-school and passing the university exams was easy. Studying was something she could excel, after all.

As for Luna, with everything settled, she started to study at a local school.

”Damn, I'm late!” She said, certain morning, after grabbing her bag.

Her two mothers were in the kitchen. Erika was studying some medical book while Dina made breakfast before going out to work. Dina forced Luna to eat something before she went out.

”Did you went sleep late last night again?” Dina asked.

”I was looking up something in the net, so I lost the notion of time.”

”Looking something up? What was it?”

Luna blushed and turned her eyes away from Dina.

”It doesn't matter, forget it. You should wake me up. You know I have school.”

”Ok, ok, I'm sorry. Are things good, though? Are you fitting at school?”

”Yeah,” she answered with a smile, but then her face became serious. ”Well, kinda…”

”Is someone giving you a hard time?”

”Oh, no. Everyone is nice...well, almost everyone. But there's this one girl… I wanted to be her friend, but she keeps avoiding me.”

”Hm… Why you want to be her friend?”

”Because she's so cute!” Luna was energetic while saying it. ”And she's always alone. It's a shame. I want to see her smile a little more.”

Hearing that, Erika rose from her chair, leaving her book aside and walked to Luna. She put her hands on her daughter's shoulder.

”You shouldn't force it. Act natural. Just get close to her and try to earn her trust. Then she will open herself to you.”

Luna faced her mother and couldn't stop a laugh. Erika looked confused.

”I-I'm sorry, mom. It's just… you giving me sentimental advice is kinda…”

”You may not believe that, but this is something I learned myself.”

”Oh, she might be right there,” Dina said, with a smile on her face.

Luna looked at Dina, then back at Erika.

”I see… I'll keep that in mind. Ah, but I'll really be late, so if you'll excuse me.”

And saying that, she stormed out of the apartment, leaving her two mothers looking at the door. Erika let a smile form in her face.

”She's way more energetic than when she was home. I'm relieved.”

”Say, you think she might have an interest in girls… Like, you know…”

”Maybe? We didn't have any male at our home planet, and she never showed any interest in their existence. I think she was in love with a girl we knew, even. But it didn't work out. I wasn't such a good mother back then.”

”Don't say that,” Dina hugged Erika and looked at her face. She still had to move her face slightly up to face her wife, who was still taller than her. ”You're an amazing mother. You threw everything away for your daughter's happiness.”

”But I got my happiness back, too. So I'm selfish…”

Dina kissed Erika's lips. She had done that a lot in the past days as if to compensate all the time they were away.

”Say…” Erika said. ”We're alone right now. Do you have some time before work?”

Dina looked at her watch.

”Some minutes…”

Erika pulled her wife's arm, walking in the room's direction.

”Let's just have some fast fun? I want to see you making those interesting faces again.”

”Erika, I said it already! That way of talking is embarrassing!”

The door closed behind them as the two women entered the room.