Part 5 (2/2)
”As I have before told the reader, this honorable individual, who sensitively declared nothing could entleman, never failed to consider hienerous soul, having conquered, he rather preferred to remain conqueror In the Punjaub John had left hissoua--John's also Got by the same bold stroke of policy--a few variations excepted! It was rather a fascinating piece of territory, to the Rajah of which he had several times offered protection, after the ly claimed over the Mosquitoes The barbarian as often rejected it This, John could not submit to: humanity demanded he should accept the kind proffer And to serve the ends of humanity did John hasten to the Rajah's palace one Co diplomatist, known for his love of the yard-arm law The Commodore would hold a parley with the Rajah; the Rajah, whose dignity was first to be consulted, was too slow in preparing his palace The Corowl for his own arowled for the amusement of his countrymen The result was natural In the littleness of his vanity did the Rajah ireat reat misfortunes of old nations The Co respect for his dignity But the seafaring diplomatist esteemed the importance of his cloth above all barbarian considerations, hence decided himself insulted As patience is essential to the success of diplomacy, so the Rajah deemed it expedient to test how far that quality was possessed by the Commodore, whom he permitted to wait two hours in a vertical sun This was too entle the petulance of the before-na Ambassador, who just dedom for his Queen From this it will be seen (we make no allowance for John's acceptance of the issue) that the vanity of a Rajah and the petulance of a Coua slipt, almost unconsciously, into the possession of his fae to praise it sufficiently John could not find Diploe claio unpunished, said he The Commodore, too, was in diploer without a consideration--which said consideration was no other than that the aforesaid Rajah just hand over the kingdom spunky boys are Uncle John and Cousin Jonathan! To that end the Coed his dominions, and would as little as possible were said about it Here, then, it was clearly shown that what John charged Jonathan as but a facsimile of the criovernments are at best thieves; and to clai dominion is poor reed not to quarrel, but continue our journey over Turkey homeward
CHAPTER XIII
MR SMOOTH SEES A COUNTRY GREAT IN RESOURCES BLIGHTED BY A NARROW POLICY
”Difficult is it for aseeht ideas I have said crooked, for where nature has been ns of the iron sinews of progress are seen; where no Mississippi stea up the resources of a country; where no bright villages hold to light the charather the fruits of the husbandh countries enas, as fine as ever spread out before the eye ofaway in the inertness of bad government A narrow policy had spread weeds where fruitful vines would have hung blessings for s called men revelled in what to them seeled; arradation But they heeded it not, and were careless because no one cared for them There is no slavery so abhorrent as that of the ht beyond the narrow sphere of his servitude, and the little pleasure which his light heart may transitorily enjoy Here men saw no vitality in the hand that ruled: hence theyscus beneath its feet
”From the fertile bottoms of the Himalayas to the Indian ocean on one side, and from the Burmese boundary to wherever British rule extended on the other, there spread out the saned, stood outlined the saovern spectacle; the result of the sa principles practiced by a few Cotton, corn, and sugar, would have repaid the hand of the husbanderrew in their stead, while bad governy no lifesprings, progress no railroads toconquered, and verytopower, fro policy Notwithstanding this, John would have us believe him world-wide in his kindness, desire his power eneral, and stood ever ready to have his philanthropy and his tears spent upon the sorrows of the American slave Were they not more needed in his own Indian dos picks his little spot of sickly cotton as it falls fronorant of the first principles of trade! Yet, instead of providing for his iracefully governs a people flatters him into content of cotton gathered, the huh a country infested by dangerous bands, over which he may seek a hs it, and sweats it, puts it through--without a gin to give itthe transit, and is surprised that India, with the best soil and cliood and sufficient supply of the raw ht bestow upon the board of directors, sitting in pompous conclave in Leadenhall street!
Happy is he, Jonathan, who, contented, knows not the things at his hand by which his own conditionthe power to do good, contents itself with dragging eagerly away the first co what is given us by nature for a nation's good is the sacrifice of a people's happiness My friend John reluctantly acknowledged the delinquency Mark the contrast! Had this all-bountiful India been ours, a more liberal policy would have produced results widely different No oligarch could have sacrificed it to its own avarice; associations would have sprung up for developing industry; a policy to eneral interests would have been established, and the good of the , and tobacco-planting, and rice-cultivating, had been encouraged and fostered Those rich alluvial bottoiven out their rich harvests to some purpose--untaxed prosperity would have rewarded the hand of the hardy husbandreatest exporting ehted millions
”Had India been ours, Yankee enterprise had traversed it with plank roads; Yankee enterprise had laid down strap railroads until better ones had resulted froy had invented a species of Mississippi steaate its narroater-courses to their source, and there develope the capabilities of the country Yes, Yankee ingenuity had had a steamboat where there was scarce water for a duck to swis with recapitulations like these? Its resources are of little value when governed obstinacy to improvements; nor is it much better where a people seeive out the incentive So long as this state of things lasts will Cotton re, and Uncle John be its most servile and dependent subject It matters little that his empire is so beautifully adapted to its cultivation Hesyste and nourishi+ng industry
”John ads were not conducted on the ed to the old gentleman, as very testy in the exercise of his power, he was at a loss to conceive e had to do with it That beca Aht to dictate principles that will aid in working out ht of pointing out the evil of all political overnment that falls under his notice It was not the honorable overnment acquired new territory or incorporated weak provinces, that Mr Sovernment that followed Wherever waste and etic -headed governainst the powers that be; and to an Aland school of universal industry, the desolation see out its i, inspired by the best ofsome rules of i instructed by youth, and with a just sense of the obstacles arments would present, the inclination failed Indeed, John, as dogged as he is old in experience, views his son Jonathan as a bold, reckless, and discontented fellohose notions of progress he would receive with the same cautious hand he would his, to him, preposterous principles of republicanis for us, hath an inert prejudice which views us as levellers, always refore notions of ourselves, generous in our expectations, and never ceasing in our love of exciterave, we are becoreat fa A soentle in that, he would plan some enterprise, propose some joint-account operation with Mr Jones, and content himself with 'truck-and-dicker,' or charcoal, for his half of the spoils In heaven, your Young A so the foundation of soht to entire possession
”'Youbeen reat and fertile empire, now so desolate; but we pursue ends hts have the benefit of ti therown--that sheSlavery; but she cannot yet solve the proble philanthropyof it, but there it rests--and there's the rub John is blind, and Cotton is king'
”'With us it would present no rub; give us the means, as spread out to your hands, and the proble over its intricacy We would pay good preia and Alabama, ith the induce requires the application of the nicest agricultural science--in the art of cultivating the sensitive plant And to encourage private enterprise ould offer bounties for the largest aovern up which could not fail to produce , as well as that enlarged intercommunication of commerce which must follow' Let me take leave of this subject!
”Fro in succession the white-robed Arab, the savage Kurd, the docile Yeeside, and the melancholy Turk John said we uides, and no end of nity, or it would not be safe, especially now that Turks and Russians were at war
Mr S to assuo-ahead, and test the virtue of a hard front, the effects of which he was quite sure would not be entirely lost even aain at war about holy places--places for which a deal of huratification of a very unholy ahta very christian plan for settling the stubborn intricacy With this best of all motives in view, I left John in the desert, where he said he expected to do soood dinners So, bidding hiht headway for the point where the pious difficulty had resulted in so
”The fact is, Old Uncle John was at first inclined to rease to dress his Turkey, an unhealthy bird, scarcely possessing fat enough to cook hi rather doubtful of his own culinary efficiency, had consented to receive a French cook into the faht yet be a deficiency, the ever-credulous old dotard was ,--never trustworthy, and always known to act as circu what time he would be ready to turn his attention to such purposes Joseph, however, was never in his life so willing to play open and shut with John, at the sa wink so well understood in all respectable faame Joseph played, and played, and played, until the credulity of old John seee The fact must be confessed that Joseph was so politically dishonest that to be for once honest was tantareat victory over his traditional iht well the traits of character this Joseph possessed, Jonathan would at short notice lend a willing hand to thrash otherthis point to be settled by more interested parties, Srets to say, he shuddered at the thought of howit had been the scene--all done for holy causes Let an ies have lent their aid to stimulate the worst passions!
”As for Turkey, I, Sainst that lovely but ill-governed country Musla by its own hand; it had shocked a world with its persecutions; it had scoffed at virtue, and was sinking down into its own deluge of vice The independence of Turkey! Now, Mr Smooth made no boast of his common-sense, but to such as he had it was a question whether the Turk, instead of exhibiting so fanatical a love for fighting, had not better betake hiovern with nations sensitive of the rights of their subjects Should this be thought an eht e a s of the christian population under his political rule It would not be incompatible with his own best interests, for it is unnatural that an inferior govern a superior race Flatterers, and even savans, es fortune has been pleased toare the evidences of bad government that only lame excuses can be offered for the finest country the sun shi+nes on groaning in poverty and distress The independence of Turkey!
”There could be no doubt that the Bear had long cherished a serious inclination to do for the Turkey, the character of whose independence he well understood He would make fertile use of its apathy The Bear would cook the Turkey with his own grease--albeit, he found him a sick man, but had no objection to the meal If, however, he had lain his paws too rudely upon the patient, diploerous Mr S the term 'diplomatic donkeyism;' but indeed the only difference he has yet been capable of detecting between the conclave which drew upon the nations of Europe so much carnal warfare and the assinine species is, that the former have soft heads in place of ears These diplomatic donkeys, ever ready to keep the world apprised of their own greatness, and without the slightest objection to getting up an unnecessary number of excite drafts, in which ga moves, that they lost themselves on the board The world strove to respect the body, but having never before been perplexed with such polite players, the effort was indeed a task With regard to their game of drafts, such was the fear of the Bear exhibited by therow, lest it leave an opening he was but too ready to take advantage of; nor did they want to wound the Turkey by any incautious ly s him: so they pushed and shoved until they found themselves in a sort of baby-jumper, in which they could be nursed to sleep while the war they had so innocently kindled waged fierce and bloody In fact, they theot the Bear so far into the crockery shop that no one could get hi to pieces the whole establish for war; and so Mr Smooth, as soon as he reached Constantinople, where everybody seemed surprised to see such a description of citizen, called atrie that, inasmuch as Turkey had ennobled herself by her noble defence of Kossuth, whose asyludohting But they didn't seem to understand square Yankee talk; the consequence of which, in Mr S his cubs inMr S a hand, provided always that there was so upon the fighting business, Mr Smooth would especially stipulate that all Austrian notes and Prussian protocols be used up in a bonfire, Austria be turned adrift as an inconsistent huckster without principles, the diplomatic donkeys be driven into the Danube, and all constitutional governments bound by arbitrary yokes set free In that case freedoht its own battles and constitutionalisainst barbaris A soul, and a firm hand We can whip all creation, build more churches, blow up more steamboats, lay down more railroads, and absorb ; but, in this case, where liberty was at stake, hold ht! At the sa Austria single-handed Young America owes her a debt he stands ready to pay at the shortest notice and cheapest price 'Mr Smooth,' said I, 'is here before you, a free and independent citizen of the United States, ready to chalk down the ite to be done, say about howdiplomatists will be thrown in, to stand security' Not coenerous proposition I left them to their own stupid way; and as every Aht to his own opinions I hoped they would beco, in Constantinople I could turn to account--the allies were under the foundation of Muslamism as fast as possible--I took a stroll to the seat of war, contentingwould ultimately turn up The fact was, I overn to death one of the bravest ar plains and undulating hills, such as Smooth had pictures to his ainlyeach other from its opposite banks Between these banks the amusement of as every now and then kept up with doubtful results That so ri a deep interest in the cause, I vaulted into the ularly mixed that their identity as allies could not be ht theible assertions about the issue--the balance, of power--the _status quo_ of Europe, and nobody kno s that were to remain unmoved The best that could be s and eht it best to let off in this sort, of way If, according to Mr Smooth's philosophy, Europe were to reress so much beloved by Mr Pierce, and his faular that the least discussed issue, theto Sreatest toad in the European puddle? Your European puddle is no ordinary affair; kings and emperors only dabble in it at the expense of their people I vieith some interest this European cesspool In the centre there was seated on a pole, with his ar an air of assuentleman, whose face fused broad and red, like a fullesteeest toad in the European puddle, and orthily sensitive of his position, though he at times exercised it to a bad purpose He was notoriously square-shouldered, had beer'd a great deal during his life, and could be as obstinate as a well-fed donkey Indeed, he had er in his reat events demanded prompt action, but he never failed to do his part when driven into the fight To speak honestly, and with all deference to the feelings of this very respectable gentleht to be thus mixed up in this squabble of European despots; nor should he have permitted himself to be led into it on the one side by that iressor, and driven on the other by his own beer-shop politicians That iinations of his people to dazzle by paying off certain old scores; even no beautifully he plays the disinterested to curtain the designs of his ambition! John, nevertheless, did wake from his years of stupor to find himself in an uncertain position;--this was manifest by the manner in which he assumed a conteher politicians aroused his apprehension of being swamped in the political perplexity Mr Smooth paused, and took a careful view of the venerable old er' said I, 'what on earth has brought you here?'
”He canted his head, as if it were thickish, gave a dignified look, and again turned to his ruive us an inkling of your ly find yourself in'
The salutation seeer to such familiarity--rudeness, if so you may please to call it; and turned fro to those of a turtle with a coal of fire on his back
”'You are who?' he returned, in a gruff voice, a scowl of conte his broad face
”'Smooth, from Down East!' I replied,--'who do you think it is?' To , I started up Yankee Doodle, which I whistled with the variations
”'You are not only an intruder, but an impertinent fellow!'