Part 6 (1/2)
”'Needn't feel disagreeable about it S Aate, has only cos look about this seat of war'
”'Who the devil is Mr Srumbled the old man
”'Don't know Solomon Smooth, eh?'
”'No, don't nor do I want to You are alwaysyour nose into everybody's business You may be a keen fellow in commerce, but in diplomacy you are impertinent and quite beside yourself You better be off froest toad in this puddle, andabout Mr Se up and is off from this, the better' The earnestness hich he said this left est toad of the pool
”'Mr Ston, holds a contrary opinion, and clai on outside of your dominions, as well as inside his own, and to insinuate himself into just what it may please him,' I replied in the measured manner of an experienced diplomatist
”'Perhaps you have,' he interrupted, 'but if you were possessed of ordinarywhen you sahat a blasted ti his chain and devouring everything on this side'
”'Feeling a fellow syht lend you a hand to do so how the brute professes to be a christian of the latest pattern' Nicholas had a strong appetite for the Turkey, which, though sick, he would have no objection to breakfast upon, as I have before stated; and, that his christian cubs htforward principles of holy orthodoxy; which said holy orthodoxy incited a craving for blood we have not yet learned to appreciate
”The said sick Turkey had not given the best satisfaction to the world in histo poverty his flock; and, too, he was always ready to bandy words and ostentation,--having a large supply of the latter always on hand He had, ree of heroisht somebody--if it were the unruly Bear, so much the better The herois Turk would have deserved in in the assurance that Uncle John would lend a hand to do the fighting Mark ye! John had copiously poured forth his treasure and blood in order that this vagabond Turkeystomach, and for which he would deny John the freedom of his city; he would condescend only to honor hienerous fellow than John was not to be found on the outside of our small world He had been the pack-horse of Europe, and all sorts of kings had used him for all sorts of purposes Never was friend used better He was proud, and yet how submissive Ready to shed his blood and squander his treasure for he knew not what, he was equally willing to submit his well-burdened back to the kicks and cuffs of those he had saved fronominy Now, the very type of endurance was he who sat poised in the puddle 'As for the Bear,' says John, 'he won't guarantee to be satisfied with his ordinary rations; and if he were to plant himself in the centre of this puddle I would very obediently have to plant nified air, ordered his beer
”That John should keep his eye sharp to as natural enough; but had this very sao, much blood and treasure had been saved in the present It is playing false to his national character thus long for which John now pays so dearly But that phantorowth, Mr S entertained by the honorable John
”'You need not be alar somewhat his natural crisp: 'I a played the donkey; but why should you, being far re ier in it? Be a o your way holorious triumph over war!' Fro the joys and comforts of peace, we shook hands,--I wished John ith his fighting, and we parted I could not however, resist the conviction that John knew not for what he fought so bravely, and reatest cock of the dunghill without sorrow to the ho tried and most dependable friend
Who can foretell the ways of a Napoleon Oh! ambition, ambition!
CHAPTER XIV
DONE BROWN IN DOWNING-STREET
”Feould have supposed that when Minister Sish cabinet he would so soon have taken a turn round the world, and fetched up in that world of ot very fast, and only a fast man can keep up with it Indeed, it e set about doing things fast, instead of so thinking them over in the mind that they seem immovable as mountains Well, there was in London just about this time much waste of that sort of sely in, (editors are always kind enough to consider the our very spunky Captain Ingrahauns, and would blow Austria to nobody knehere The whole, however, only amounted to the simplest evidence of what there was in sympathy and the Saxon heart To our Christian friends would we say--none of these things moved Smooth from his equilibriu, and it only a small bullies And, too, did the little skipper not take care of himself he was no Yankee, and the whole United States would know it to his discredit
”General Pierce, too, being a fighting President, (not a doubt could exist since the boood care of the whole thing (perhaps send to Congress a e of war) Could it turn a point to his own advantage, he would--right or wrong--send a fleet to whip Austria, to
”But let us turn to a subject y dwellings and badly constructed palaces, the whole sleeping under a canopy of sickly s wore a sombre, heavy air--even the men seemed born to in-palaces,fureat palaces for very faint-hearted people, who thought well of thereat cost they lived in sumptuous idleness As this last specimen of human nature, when dressed in full shi+ne, would completely outshi+ne the most vain pawnee chief that ever ran wild in Arkansas, Mr Smooth was anxious for a peep at the curiosity In truth, to Mr Sht have e the banks of a nauseous strea itself in the s, it lent cheerful aid to the trade of physicians
Everybody affected great knowledge of systees that no system existed equal to the requirereat only on dinners and donkeyisust body never was known to discuss the practical refor of the English language
”The beggar, (we narier, the 'cute cabby, the wily tradesuished clowns--the Lord, whose rank is known by his tinsel, and the Duke, so deeply identified with flunkeyis, helter-skelter, helter-skelter And then there carus To dine with reat; nor could his airs and ostentation be well improved The little nity: no ht he that his own little self wasn't great To the tailor who est dabbler in that divine essence of things called nity it not only required a great deal of experience, but a large amount of tin in the pocket, which for the minus thereof was it necessary to have a deal of brass in the face This principle, then, which is strictly in accordance with natural philosophy, being very well developed in this worthily aged country, reat of reat because Our Sovereign Lady said he ht take upon hi over with the froth of his own follies With tin in his pocket, brass in his face, and never a forlorn _h_ in his vocabulary, is he the fellow to do brown the 'rag and tinsel'
”Well, Mr Smooth felt conscious of his own iood British With philosophy profound in his long face, Mr Smooth made his compliments to the new and very sedate s called the very unobsequious Jimmy Buckanan, of Pensylvane This worthy and very firm-fisted statesman, as too much of the old school ever to be President of our United States, advised the doing of a great s, the diplomacy of which Mr Smooth seriously doubted Especially did S on the breeches question, the quaint originality of which was Marcy's own This the venerable stateso into the back place and take a little gin and bitters in a quiet way, for he was inveterately averse to every body watching his ruities, and where not alone the weak-minded bedeck themselves in fancy coats and flashy tassels, and indescribable coverings of high colors, requires some resolution in the man who mixes with it, and is pleased to make known his taste for plain black And here Mr S statesman held a very learned controversy over the fact of Marcy having gone into the tailoring business so largely as to define the shape of coat it was consistent to wear at court tea-parties Sht, just to look a man of consequence, and in order not to be behind several of his brother democrats, whose na hoas invited to join a dough-nut party in Downing street, while he was certain of a card to one of Citizen Peabody's most select dinners, for Peabody was an intimate friend and old acquaintance; but our honest and very American plenipotentiary said it would not do, for the obvious reason that a man's importance should depend on as in his brains His very de coument, had made a solemn promise to put on red cloth and feathers but four times a year, one of which he stipulated should be at the opening of the Crystal Palace, that being an occasion when all the fine ladies were expected to be present for the purpose of witnessing the superiority of genius over court fooleries, as well as being singularly fascinated with the young secretary's handso that Sreat reatness itself, he sincerely enjoined all his countryuide their actions when abroad
”Acting upon the principle sonobody could hear of it on the other side of the water,) Mr S liveries, and was deter London astonished The ent street did up the external, as he had before so ery as it was! Alongside of me General Scott would have looked shy, I reckon And then, when the big cocked hat was spread! I tell you, Uncle Sa Smooth--he was half-duke, half-beadle, and the rest Pierce diploht I The donkey turn out was a curiosity, Smooth himself was a curiosity; and with two curiosities an excitement was certain My first dash was into Hyde Park, near the entrance of which stood the brazen statue of a gladiator, raised by fair hands, in commemoration of the Iron Duke, whose indelible deeds they would emblazon on hardest brass In this park, at fashi+onable hours, sauntered the nice young est snobs of the fashi+onable world; but Smooth took the shi+ne out of the whole lot, as did nearly all the rest of Mr Pierce's little folks Had he, however, turned out in the flummery of some of his contemporary snobs, and driven thus equipped into Cape Cod, a town- hiht-jackets are worn, had been the result But in London a man mayfor a license Indeed, thean ass of hi that he has a very large number of very respectable fareatest asses (a name and the needful est ears are not the surest indices After all,the purlieus of Downing street just yet, having a few of Mr Pierce's little folks to pack up and send hoive therindstone
CHAPTER XV
HIS LITTLE LORDshi+P'S SHOW, AND A PEEP INTO DOWNING-STREET