Part 1 (2/2)
”Well, I sahat the feller wanted; so I pulled out a fist full of shi+ners, just to show hi the direeable as seeht from his inards; and he struck up Yankee Doodle by way of an offset
”'Pooty full, Mr Senerously remarked, 'but we must try accomh up!'
”'That's a good soul,' said I,--'know'd ye warn't a bad sort of fellohen a body understood how to get the good out!'
”'Apartments for Sololy, looking over his book, and drue Mr Smooth, in proof of his fast principles, will have no objection to tying up in the seventh story?'
”'Rather stiff that, Major! Young A up on a pin if it be necessary to accommodate, but don't just like the moon for a bedfellow'
”'Won't trouble you with a bedfellow, Mr S all over his broad sides
”It being well understood in Washi+ngton that great e expectations, wereleft but to cut a course between the two
As for the latter quality of gentleet the big business, had not the slightest objection to the s Therefore, be it known that, with a full knowledge of this sad state of affairs, did I write down:--'Mr Solomon Smooth, from Cape Cod:' which, when down, looked like the footprints of a hen that, having dipped her claws in an inkstand, had waddled across the page Thus ended my induction at the National
CHAPTER II
MR SMOOTH SUPS, AND GOES TO BED
”At length, Uncle Sa about entleenerosity, could not avoid the contelorious world this of ours ood hearted souls like yourself, so rich--but as indifferent to their own best interests 'You will take supper, Mr Sany Before I had tiled like Jehu And then there caroes, so tidy, trient One bowed--another smiled--a third waited with a salutation ain spoke thein accent
That they ht know more emphatically (as Uncle Tom Benton says) that Mr Smooth was none of your common citizen, I turned my eyes on the darkies, and stared at them until they turned pale Then one possessed hi off with a scientifichis sue, and into a spacious hall up stairs, where he said they eat their people No sooner was I bowed to a seat than a dozen gentleood earnest; so fast did they beset un to think they hadturkey about to be fatted for the table of the secretary of the treasury The fixins, as Mr Samuel Slick would say, made one feel quite at ho my home spun, soon became sassy; whereupon I turned round and set upon _therin I could suh 'Reckon how ton wid Mr General Pierce,' says one, whose face was black, and bright, and full of the quizzical; while another, with a flat crooked nose gave a cunning wink out of his left eye This being detected by a superior, in the brisk person of a son of the Emerald Isle, who stood well six feet in his boots, a 'soucer' with the broad front of his knuckle bones, between the colored gentle re the floor Troth! an' it's myself 'd stop yer botheration Sure, ye dark spalpeens, is it by the saintlens of his Doneybrook getting the better of hi to the self sas? The divil a such a country, as Ha her dignity in care' Saying this, Mr Patrick (for such was his nath of his important self over the table, and says:--I'm yers to the buckle of my shoe, Mr Smooth! It's a divil a one but yerself I'll vote for at the next helection Sure, an' didn't mysel jine the native Hamerikan party, with Tom Connolly, afore we'd been two months on the beloved soil an', sure, it's Toh the _nonothin_ for ye' Here Mr Patrick anxiously paused for a reply To never say a bad thing when I could not think of a good, ever has been :--'Give us yer hand, Mr Patrick--ill forget the two, and yet be one! and that our faith ether do brown the patriotism of these United States
”'Ye better believe that!' returns Mr Patrick, with an exultation of happiness; and concluding with: 'I'd kill every nager in the land, be the pipers I would! an' it's the boys froht face on pure Hamirikan principles Sure an' warn't it the brave boys that halicted Gineral Pierce and his cuain paused, and with a wise look, shook his head 'We put the broad staunch face on the deain he interjaculated with a mutter Indeed, Mr Patrick the reader will easily detect, had the crude idea of right in his head; but, unfortunately, he could only get it out in these siro, e have before described as being knocked down, picked hi to say
”'There may be much in what you say, friend Patrick,' said I: 'The boys froal do with the elective franchise much that _native-Homers_ in their carelessness leave undone Mr Patrick acknowledged this, shook his head, and said the fact, though deplorable, was preeminently established
”'Like every one who visits Washi+ngton these times, yer a friend of the Gineral's, and have fit with hi to anticipate my answer Of the Mexicans I know little--of the war less: it ell our country made peace its friend, war its ene in Mexico, that was a reat potentate, but not so great a eneral idea that he is now becootten nu stowed it well away under , I felt very much like a man who had just turned away his back on Secretary Marcy, having through personal friendshi+p received the country's best collectorshi+p Seeing the point of good-nature to which uate h entries, corridors, passages, halls, and down stairways, along which ere ever encountering persons who, like Mr Pierce, were groping their way in the dark In the course of tiain encountered the light of the any counter, behind which stood the same individual I have before described--his person so formidable, his face so full and fat, his hair so sleek and sood supper, Squire S over his broader face On answering in the affirmative, he introduced me to nuentry, and of whom I had, unfortunately, occasion to know rief frohts and secession, that his State, so neglected, would certainly go out of the Union She had not a minister abroad--only Consul General at Alexandria, which was said by the knowing ones to be so faith in southern principles, and his independent indifference to the feelings of thin-skin northerners, he had purchased two very handsoender This was merely to illustrate the truly Aht arouse froht of civilization to which Aular, and to me very praiseworthy efforts, to free his people fro o it!--a few yptian an ie: the brilliant light of our western star will, I fear, have much in it to remind him of those darker days when his forefathers built pyraer?' our Carolinian inquired, with a suspicious look, touching a companion beside hi shorter! 'Cape Cod,' he folloith a respectful bow, 'did noble work for the true dereat in sands, shoals, and cod-fish; she will send General Pierce a chowder, as en policy--' Here I interrupted by assuring hiestible; But whether she could digest the General was a doubtful question Cape Cod, be it known over the broad acres of this land, I added, has a spirit above living on government: she turned disdainfully frooverne--she never sacrificed Uncle Sam for the sake of what is in his tin-trunk At this, which he was pleased to call an expletive, he begun to sunity: at once he stiffened in a manner that proved how much superior to me he considered himself, and how much more of Uncle Sam's shi+ners were necessary to his conceivedhis ar his person a little htly polished stove, against which he permitted a well-directed stream of dark fluid to explode ere he wiped his lips--'Cape Cod is the place from whence all persons come who profess to be born free and equal; but they are a scrubby set--' Considering it a duty I owed to the nation, I again interrupted hiuer American party Understand, citizen, (here I found spunk was necessary), a cape-coaster can at any time boast a full fair of fish; if he draw them froer to Mr John Bull, whonaciously inclined at tih stubbornly behind the age of progress, nor willing to believe in the principles of manifest destiny, often iht, Mr Sht--re' Off, like the handle of a jug, he went And now it being tiate me safe into the seventh story My fat friend at the counter, whose eyes were becoain the bell, and out scampered some dozen darkies froroes with an expression of exciteer,' says I, 'these 'ere niggers a'int all going to put h, be they?' He said he reckoned one would do; and to a question as to what ti I was of the Young Auished of that party could do al, provided I started soon I would reach the destination aboutit's any accommodation, Mr Smooth, we can send you to bed by steao!' he rapidly concluded, rapping with his fingers on the big book he had so leisurely laid aside for the night, there being no chance of another custoht this side of twelve o'clock I shookbusted up 'Ain't a er, we havn't killedA somewhat anxious to extend a little friendly advice to Gineral Pierce, I begged to be excused fro America must live to proclaim the manifest destiny of a universal republic You s until a more expedient ti up would only save six cents;--' can put Mr Smooth into the ot soht!' I shook hands with the fellow, exchanged glances, bid the the darky, ound his way round corridors, up stairs, and through passages for ht it was!), until I fancied we had got lost in an interes It was just after inauguration, which fact was duly ne bottles, which were sounding pop! pop!! pop!!! Againthe misfortunes of those about to pass out: while another whose voice seemed somewhat mellow, said he had in his eye the office he wanted--exactly A third voice, as if echoed through a subterranean vault, said they --the General was so undecided in his opinions Pretty soon, the negro, having wound his way high up in the world, turned a corner, gave a treuffaw, and opened the door of a place that looked very much like a closet in which to stoay lean lawyers 'Now, Cuff! ye ain't goin to stow this citizen away in that ar place, be ye?' says I
”'Mas'r,' returns he, ''tis just the snuggest place ye ever did see; why! tain't da length on ye, seem how mas'r can double hihed and drew back with a bow, as I began to philosophise that, being noell up in the world, it was the best policy to coil up and invoke Morpheus,--which I did, bidding good-night to all below, and pro myself a pleasant intervieith General Pierce on the following
CHAPTER III
IN WHICH MR SMOOTH HAS AN INTERVIEW WITH GENERAL Cass
”Sure 4, when there came a voice as husky as Uncle Zack Peabody's conk, (which said conk had been used to blow his way through the fogs of Newfoundland for nearly half a century), saying:--'It's er?' Where the voice came from seemed a puzzle for all creation No room was there in the place for another soul--all becaazed upon the dark wall, and along it to the littlefacing the avenue; and there, behold! but tell it not in the Capitol, was the broad, burly face of General Cass, like a wetin at theAgain he et in!--such has always been entleman bore such an expression of discomfiture on his countenance, that Smooth was forced to the conclusion that to be sociable would only be doing a good turn-- well together
'Then it's you, General?' says I: 'well, don't be in a hurry!' After a short silence, he inquired if I could acco on the road, and short of shot I said I was not well to do for roo that he was soon to try another turn by joining the 'Young American'