174 Things Through Her Eyes POV (1/2)

Daddy? Why, daddy? Why?

Why can't I come with you to wherever you are going?

Did I do something wrong?

Is that why you don't want me anymore?

I will be good. I promise. I will be a good girl, so please, please come back and take me with you.

Please don't leave me. Please, daddy! Please!

I keep calling for my daddy and looking for him, but he is not anywhere to be seen.

He is gone like he had said, but he had told me to go to mummy. She will take care of me in his place because he had said that he had been a very bad father.

Daddy has been a very bad father?

Why did he say that?

Daddy isn't a bad father.

He is scary, very scary sometimes, but he isn't a bad father like he had said. He talks very nicely to me and also buys me things when I am a good girl. Really a good girl.

I am a good girl.

Haven't I been a good girl, daddy?

I am confused, but if daddy wants me to go to mummy then I will have to go to mummy. I get punished if I don't listen to him, and his punishments really, really hurts.

Daddy punishes me for everything that I did wrong, but he said it is good for me. It is to stop me from being bad, just like when I had tried to stay with mummy and my baby sister, Rachel.

I had cried so much that day, the day when mummy and daddy have stopped living in the same house together. They had said that they don't love each other anymore and that they don't want to live with each other anymore.

I haven't seen mummy for years because daddy takes me all over the world due to his job in the army, but he doesn't anymore because he doesn't work in the army anymore.

When he did, we had gone to many places, even to Japan and Korea. Those places are really different from here in the United States, and the people there also talk funny, especially the Japanese.

Japanese people are always respectful to me and daddy, bowing constantly. But daddy had said that it is because they have lost the war to us, and now, they are our servants, so they have to be respectful.

The Korean doesn't need to because they are better people than the Japanese.

But mummy said that isn't true, and daddy is just being racist and hateful.

Mummy even said that I will be too if I stay with him.

I don't understand what racist mean, but I do understand what hateful mean. Daddy isn't hateful since he loves me. He loves me more than he loves mummy. That is what he had said.

Mummy doesn't want me to stay with daddy, but she did tell daddy that he can take me while she will take Rachel in that huge room with a man with funny curly hairs.

It doesn't look like real hair.

Since then, I have only been able to talk on the phone with mummy because daddy is always overseas due to his work, but I think it has already been months since I last talk to her.

Mummy is probably busy. She is always busy.

Everyone is always busy, never have time for me, except for daddy when he is home from work.

Daddy had said that he will always have time for me as long as I am a good girl, but sometimes, I wish he isn't home because he is always angry, making me hide in the house because he hurts me even if I am a good girl.

And now daddy doesn't have time for me anymore.

He is gone, and I don't know when he will be back. Will he be back?

I just don't know. I just… don't know.

Why didn't you take me with you, daddy? Why?

Did you decide that you don't want me anymore? Did I make you angry again?

I look up at mister Max with teary eyes.

He is a doctor, but he doesn't look like one. He doesn't really wear that whitecoat and have that tube-like tool around his neck to hear my heartbeat.

I recall that it is called a stethoscope. I have asked one of the doctors once.

A long time ago.

It is hard to pronounce that word correctly since I haven't been to school. I also keep changing schools due to the work that daddy did. I don't mind, but it makes it really hard to learn any new words.

And I want to learn new words, so I can write down what I want to say deep down.

It is hard to express myself without knowing proper words, but mister Max seems to understand me, even if I didn't say anything.

I also like mister Max because he has made the pain in my chest goes away unlike all the other doctors that daddy had taken me to recently. They always argued with daddy about those punishments that I received for being a bad instead of helping me like mister Max.

I can breathe normally now, like a couple of years ago.

It doesn't hurt anymore.

Mister Max also has made all my other pains go away too, but I don't think daddy likes that very much because daddy had put those bruises there to remind me that I have been a bad girl.

It is my punishment like daddy had said.

Mister Max frowns as he sees my tears, seemingly know what is on my mind. I think he can hear what I am thinking.

He crouches down to level his very clear eyes with mine. And his thumb runs across my face just under the eyes to clear my tears before his hand places itself on my head, caressing me gently.

His other hand holds one of my hand firmly.

”There is no need to cry, Christina. Your daddy just has things that he needs to do, so when he is done with those things, he will come back to see you again. So, until then, you have to be a good girl, okay?”

Mister Max tells me as I try to not cry anymore. His hand remains on my head.

And it feels nice. Feels very nice.

I don't know why but I like it very much when mister Max touches me. It makes me all warm and tingly inside. It isn't a bad feeling. It is a really good feeling. My heart also beats a lot faster too.

Mister Max soon removes the hand from my head and takes hold of my other hand. He is now holding both of my hands. He also smiles, brightly.

It makes me want to smile too, so I did.