159 The Avatar of Time (2/2)

But to truly be the Aspect of Time, I would have to cast away my individually and return to what I was in the beginning. In the beginning before time exists.

I did not, and so I delegate my duty and responsibility, thus the reason why Adria and all of her siblings exist in the first place. They are like little aspects born from my will to manage each reality for me, so a certain someone can get off my back.

Without doing that, no new reality can be created. No reality can continue to exist for time and space is intricately linked. Without space or time, nothing can exist, on the physical plane of existence or on any other plane of existences.

Wow. I am so selfish, before and now, forcing others to do my job just because I fear of ceasing to be myself.

To become with the cosmos is to cease being an individual.

It isn't only me, as Terra fears of returning to be the true Aspect of Chaos. She has actually told me so in the only time we ever come face to face.

But considering Adria, does that mean Terra also delegates her job as the Aspect of Chaos?

Since chaos is the beginning of everything, so nothing will exist if chaos didn't exist.

Actually, nothing can exist without all of the Aspects doing their job.

Does that mean all the Aspects also delegate their job?

It is logical to think so. If they Aspects did not delegate their tasks while existing like me with their very own individually and consciousness, nothing can exist, thus defeating the whole purpose of becoming an individual with a consciousness in the first place.

Adria is no longer in a state of consciousness, not like when she was with me just moments ago.

I am feeling extremely guilty for what had happened, but she is happy for having a purpose to exist in the first place. It also isn't like she has ceased to be.

”I am truly sorry for this, Adria.”

I apologize sincerely after a long moment of silence. It is long overdue, to her and to every of my child who has to maintain the cosmos because I refuse to, either out of fear or otherwise.

What is the real reason? I do not know since I have lost my memory and all of my power when I actually die, but not cease to exist.

I don't think I can cease to exist in all form, because if I did, everything would also cease to exist. It just shows that those who wants to kill me really wants to kill end everything and bring back nothingness.

Why does that feel important. Nothingness?

Another thing that bothers me is who I was. The one before I become Maximilien Maxwell. He doesn't love any of his children, finding them just a tool to an end? Surely that cannot be the case since.

Adria seems to know, but it is more like a feeling instead of actual knowledge.

And she mentions us, as in more than one aspect of time. Note the uncapitalized letter. That is because she is the aspect of time in this reality, to which she cannot leave, or bad shits will happen.

Pardon my French.

As that is the case, I can assume that there is more than one aspect of time in the multiverse. One for each reality, and they are all my children.

Wow.

What I did on the prime-reality to create Allison and Lexi pales in comparison pales to what I had done in the past. I basically father an infinite number of children.

I can see why it is kind of impossible to care for each child even with the mastery over time, especially when I have so many, infinitely many. I will become so desensitize to it to the point of uncaring.

Strange that Adria said that she is the first.

Surely, that couldn't be true even if he gets desensitize after a few thousand times.

Why did I call him 'he' instead of 'I'?

That is because I am considering my past-self as a separate person, as he did not experience the same struggle than I did. He did not live my life and see what I have seen.

It is these very experiences that define who I am.

And from what little Adria knows of him, I don't think I like my past-self much.

But I will have to confront my past one day, if I ever want to regain my full aspectual power again. My full power as an individual, not the real Aspect of Time.

I really don't want to be everywhere and nowhere at once on the multiversal scale.

This is fear. Real fear. Fear of ceasing to be who I am. Ceasing to be what I am now – just a man in the grand scheme of things. And I like what I am now, living in the universe.

It makes me feel alive.

I pull out of bed and redress myself in an instant. There is nothing left in this reality for me to idle here any longer.

Humanity has made their choice, and they will have to live with it since I am not their parents, guiding them every single step of the way. I consider myself more of a teacher of sort, teaching them and then letting them choose their own path.

I turn towards the bed, completely stained since it has been like days. Strange that it isn't composed entirely of micromachines. It is actually a real bed, and so are everything in this room.

Adria wanted it to be real or as real as possible.

Her attempts bring a smile to my face, and I do accept her as my daughter even if the time we have is very short. It is still meaningful, nonetheless.

”Goodbye, Adria. I hope we will see each other in the future.”

I then head out into the hallway before turning away from the staircase. I head down to the last room at the end of the corridor without paying attention to the countless murals hanging on the wall. All of the other rooms are full of decoration anyway.

A temporal rift greets me when I enter the last room.

This building is built around the temporal rift since Adria assumes that I would come from the temporal rift instead. She doesn't know everything, even now. She only knows what she sees, and she does see everything as time itself.

I enter the rift, returning to the prime-reality.

Once I am back, I teleport directly home to see Antigone. It has been like months since I last saw her, and I do miss her greatly. Since I have failed to care for Adria, I should do my best for Antigone.

Antigone is still sleeping peacefully in her crib.

I tower over her suspiciously, considering what I know of Adria.

And while Antigone is not spiritually awakened like Adria as she was born before I awake my spiritual awareness, she still should inherit my memories or at least some part of it.

It is really easy to test if she knows, but a part of me doesn't want to. The guilty part of me.

So instead, I poke her cheek, and she responses by turning to her side and continuing to sleep. I poke again and again until she slaps my hand away cutely. It appears to be on reflex.

”Anti. You are such a naughty girl.”

I call her sternly as she tries to keep her eyes shut, making it seems like she is sleeping.

Antigone obviously isn't, and I am sure that this is not the only instance.