Chapter 38 (2/2)

I eat, travel, and walk around all my own

I also read, write letters, and carry conversations by myself

But my heart seems to have wandered off

To soht

It looks likeyou’re not the only thing that I lost

Lyrics to “Leaf” (Ye Zi) 葉子 sung by Ah Sang 阿桑 (OST of The Rose, a Taiwanese drahly recommended]

I’ve listened to this song “Leaf” so hts “But my heart seeht It looks like you’re not the only thing that I lost,” every ti, I cannot help but cry I can still feel the warmth of his lips on mine, but we have lost each other What have I lost? Is it just love? No, I’ve lost my entire heart…

I go ho the scar on my ar that it was due to a fall After the New Year’s festivities are over, like usual, my parents celebrate my 25th birthday on the 10th day [Lunar], where I blow out candles and eat cake The crea ht now, is he drawingabout his to the past

Once winter break is over, I return to school, but there are no classes Everyone is busy with job-hunting It is not easy for those inat the university to becoical institutes or museums…these jobs don’t make a lot of money Many ofsecretaries or salespersons at some company The topic of our ‘future’ is the s, a subject I have no interest in joining

The articles I wrote on the Kizil Caves have become quite the sensation in the academic world, a topic of controversy for some even My ‘boss’ tries to persuadeI do not give hiht away as I still want to experience a life where “I eat, travel, and walk around all my ohere “I also read, write letters, and carry conversations by myself”

Tio on online and read novels about time-travel, except I would only read ones that are funny Ones like ‘x and x time-jureat-grand these novels I sincerely wish all the best to these ti heroines; they arejust like that

Tio on online and read novels about time-travel, except I would only read ones that are funny Ones like ‘x and x time-jureat-grand these novels I sincerely wish all the best to these ti heroines; they arejust like that

Once April co trip I do not dare to go to Xinjiang because I knoould not able to resist visiting Kucha while I’ those ruins 1,650 years later will not be the sa I had when I went there for research Still the sa each other but unable to stay together…I will go insane drowning in these thoughts In the end, I choose to go to Tibet, a place where I can purify my soul

I enter Tibet by following the southern route of the Sichuan-Tibet Highway1 [see above], which starts at Chengdu, passing by Ya’an, Kangding, and e reach Litang, I cannot help but recall the 6thDalai La Gyatso It is thanks to these lines of his, “White crane, lend ,/ and I’ll be back”2, thatJust by looking at the beautiful Niege Peak and the endless Maoya Grasslands situated some 4,000m above the sea, the vastness of it all will make all your worries disappear

1 known as one of the world’sroads due to frequent landslides, rock avalanches, high winds, etc (source: BBC Travel) The northern route is 2320k and the southern route is 2140k, which is 500 at 2,560e at 3,460m above sea level (source: Tibet Vista) It can take up teeks to coers,scenery it provides along the way

2 English translation by Siton

When passing by Markam, Bomi, Bayi, you can literally just press the shutter button on your camera at any time and be able to capture a beautiful photo The scenery is so bountiful and vast it takes your breath away As soon as glimpses of the Potala Palace come into view, I know I have arrived at the scared land – Lhasa, the capital of Tibet

On the way, I havehway] and follow the syste by headcount extreo separate ways, the reroup to sters, but due to our passion for travelling, everyone is rather knowledgeable aboutthe way It is also not unusual for people to pair up in these kinds of trips There is one night where the girl who shares a roo However, this kind of romance on the road comes quickly and also leaves quickly; rarely do people keep contact afterwards

One night, I go with the group of friends I just befriended at a youth hostel in Lhasa to a bar on Beijing E Rd After a few rounds of drinking, we decide to play the ga, but after seeing that all the ‘Truth’ questions have to do with sex and the ‘Dares’ are in to lose interest [in the game]

When it isman asks me: “When was your ‘first time’, where did it happen and how did it feel?”

I sigh before answering haltingly: “I haven’t”

There’s a round of laughter Quite a fewme like they want to undress me with their eyes One even jokes that he can ‘help’ me

I alht then I don’t understand what the young people are thinking these days Apparently people ins are considered some alien species Nowadays, the trend is to treat love and sex like fast-food: eat quickly, wipe your mouth, andThewhile before asking ‘can I?’ when he wants to kiss me still exist Or perhaps in this 21st century, this kind of love has becoered species?

I decide to stop joining these social gatherings at bars That level of noise and debauchery, is it not simply a carnival of the lonely? If that’s the case, then I will choose to be alone and to find joy in my own company

I alht then I don’t understand what the young people are thinking these days Apparently people ins are considered some alien species Nowadays, the trend is to treat love and sex like fast-food: eat quickly, wipe your mouth, andThewhile before asking ‘can I?’ when he wants to kiss me still exist Or perhaps in this 21st century, this kind of love has becoered species?

I decide to stop joining these social gatherings at bars That level of noise and debauchery, is it not simply a carnival of the lonely? If that’s the case, then I will choose to be alone and to find joy in my own company

Wandering aiht, and you can see how clear the night sky is, where stars twinkle so brightly overhead they feel almost within reach There are very few cities left where you can observe the stars this clearly I cannot help but recall the dom, situated next to an oasis in the desert

I observe the Tibetan Buddhists and pray along with the Te Monastery Every tiet surprised and h my soul has been transported to another place in another sky After observing about a hundred te, I finally realize that no matter how far I run, I can never escape the lovesickness that has taken roots in the very depths of my heart

[Order of photos: Top left – Drepung Monastery, Top right – Jokhang Temple, Bottom – Potala Palace]

When I return to school, I get approached by sora at an archaeological institute It takes his forface reminds me of a certain someone…

I do not want toof loneliness any longer, or that I miss that person too much The reason why I accept that upperclassman’s confession is simple: He is a man from my reality and I, in the end, must live in this reality…

____________________________________________________________________________

Rast and melancholy Makes translator me rather down-heartened at tih sadness in my head to deal with

I rather love the iery of the lyrics to Leaf, “Loneliness is a carnival of one / And a carnival is a gathering of the lonely“, even if it was a struggle to translate Songs, literary references and poems are the worst to translate After that is names of places[Also note to self: add Tibet to places I must visit before I die That said, not sure I want to use this Sichuan-Tibet Highway route Don’t know if beauty is worth the danger of possibly dying while en route]

Anddd we’re done with Part II, phew Part III is next, which is probably the part I dread the onna be so painful to translate My heart already hurts at the very thought That said, ero up [spoilers?], so be prepared

I do hope to see y’all again soon, but it’s going to be busy for me in the next couple months as I am about to move to a new apartment, so… Hopefully I’d be able to churn out a chapter or two beforemess :p

Chapter 38 Carnival of one I watch in silence as the scenery zooms by the train s s It s already January, and winter is at its full height The leaves are brittle and the trees are nothing but dried husks the entirety of which forms a picture as bleak as reen tea is put down in front ofa quick thanks My boss sits down next to h T N If you recall, her boss is not her employer, but the head of history depart about it After you go back, just hit the books and study well Your graduation is in July, better start thinking about finding a job soon I make a noncommittal sound in reply and wrapthe s I was bedridden for three months after I returned to this eraThe doctors said it was fortunate I ed to return in tie iant Northface backpacks I wore on my back had eased the impact of e The doctors had to perforery to cut off the rotten part of rowth of new tissue Even after all of that, er as flexible as it was before Perhaps this is the price one pays for changing history I submitted a detailed report on my physical condition to the researchers, who then ordered for a full body examination, after which they concluded that the a in my body after four tier fit to continue on with the project I had tried to persuade them to allow me to cross one last time But I could not even cross the barrier that is my boss, let alone the researchers Boss said I have to recuperate, takesfro, and boss doesn t want me to have to deal with health coue uments with the research team upon my return, after which he decided to withdraw frohts about this time travel nonsense from now on, because our university had already cut all ties with the project, and that as soon asme back to school Naturally, I received a bonus salary for all h to cover the bare minimums for several years even if I don t work Once the bank bookbut bitterness Return to school How long has it been since I was last on campus I have missed so many classes, will I be able to catch up Boss tried to co he will help ht back were of monumental value My notes and the ancient books I copied by hand will need further study, and I am to help the experts with this I had turned over alifted me, the handkerchiefs he put in my cabinet for me to carry when I ave me Is this how raduate program, I had rarely attended classes, and instead devoted most of my time to this time travel project At 22, I started to prepare for the experiment at 23, I crossed successfully and at 24, I returned full of injuries The past two years, have I only been living a drea around my neck, I would not be able to believe that I had actually breathed, lived and loved in an era 1,650 years ago If I were to co Zi who dreamed he was a butterfly, or the butterfly who drea Zi T N refer to Ch6 for further explanation of Zhuang Zi s dream My return to school proves to be quite the sensation My teachers, class while, all turn wide eyed when I show up That evening, my friends take me out for a s to our heart s content until I realize with a jolt that it s already 2a tireate1 returning to earth for the first tied The econoripped by inflation The price of a steamed bun in our school s cafeteria has increased tenfold as a result The stock round for the elites only has now turned into a prison for all Gas prices have gone up, which explain why the teachers have begun to use buses to get to work, with so so far as to use their BMW Motorrad s The st students nowadays is the fil topic is how the governe e, originally known as Heng e, is the Chinese Goddess of the Moon and a subject of several Chinese legends, one of which is the origin behind Mid Autumn Festival 8th full e fil Lee, based on a novella of the sa 3 International Workers Day, aka Labour Day or Workers Day, is a public holiday in many countries In China prior to 2008, it was a three day holiday, but is now only one day T N Remember, FBFY was published in 2007, so it makes sense that Xiao Chun used events relevant to China during that tiirls dormitories has a boyfriend now The moment the sun sets, they would all put on ether Ithe weekend The rest of the s that had I not disappeared for so long, I would have had a boyfriend by now, and how unfortunate it is that the boys in our class who once expressed interest intone, telling the these boys otherwise When I go shopping with the girls, they all say that I m too old fashi+oned and don t kno to follow the trends It s not that Itoo fast There are times where I miss that world dearly a world without pollution, without city noises, where life is sirapes andand sweet I ht smiles and pure hearts Someti as though I ve just caught a glist the crowds of people I would chase after that person, only to realize it s someone I don t know Sometimes, a loeet voice would travel past my ears, and I would look around frantically to no avail every ti the everywhere and nowhere, before I collapse onto the sidewalk and burst into tears, ignoring the surprised looks other people give me The modern human has evolved to the point where their spine is sturdy and strong no h, I would just wipe my eyes and continue on No one has ever stopped to ask ht ofborn thethat can never fly And a wing is a leaf that fell frootten How I ed to fly in the first place Loneliness is a carnival of one And a carnival is a gathering of the lonely To love is to keep soet How it feels like to be in your company I eat, travel, and walk around all my own I also read, write letters, and carry conversations by myself But my heart seeht It looks like you re not the only thing that I lost Lyrics to Leaf Ye Zi sung by Ah Sang OST of The Rose, a Taiwanese drahly reco Leaf so hts But my heart seeht It looks like you re not the only thing that I lost, every ti, I cannot help but cry I can still feel the warmth of his lips on mine, but we have lost each other What have I lost Is it just love No, I ve lostthe scar on my ar that it was due to a fall After the New Year s festivities are over, like usual, my parents celebrate my 25th birthday on the 10th day Lunar , where I blow out candles and eat cake The crea ht now, is he drawingabout his to the past Once winter break is over, I return to school, but there are no classes Everyone is busy with job hunting It is not easy for those inat the university to becoical institutes or museums these jobs don t make a lot of money Many ofsecretaries or salespersons at some company The topic of our future is the s, a subject I have no interest in joining The articles I wrote on the Kizil Caves have become quite the sensation in the academic world, a topic of controversy for some even My boss tries to persuadeI do not give hiht away as I still want to experience a life where I eat, travel, and walk around all my ohere I also read, write letters, and carry conversations by myselfTio on online and read novels about time travel, except I would only read ones that are funny Ones like x and x tireat grand these novels I sincerely wish all the best to these ti heroines they arejust like that Once April co trip I do not dare to go to Xinjiang because I knoould not able to resist visiting Kucha while Ithose ruins 1,650 years later will not be the sa I had when I went there for research Still the sa each other but unable to stay together I will go insane drowning in these thoughts In the end, I choose to go to Tibet, a place where I can purifythe southern route of the Sichuan Tibet Highway1 see above , which starts at Chengdu, passing by Ya an, Kangding, and e reach Litang, I cannot help but recall the 6thDalai La Gyatso It is thanks to these lines of his, White crane, lend , and I ll be back 2, thatJust by looking at the beautiful Niege Peak and the endless Maoya Grasslands situated some 4,000m above the sea, the vastness of it all will make all your worries disappear 1 known as one of the world sroads due to frequent landslides, rock avalanches, high winds, etc source BBC TravelThe northern route is 2320k and the southern route is 2140k, which is 500 at 2,560e at 3,460m above sea level source Tibet VistaIt can take up teeks to coers,scenery it provides along the way 2 English translation by Siton When passing by Markam, Bomi, Bayi, you can literally just press the shutter button on your camera at any time and be able to capture a beautiful photo The scenery is so bountiful and vast it takes your breath away As soon as glimpses of the Potala Palace come into view, I know I have arrived at the scared land Lhasa, the capital of Tibet On the way, I havehway and follow the syste by headcount extreo separate ways, the reroup to sters, but due to our passion for travelling, everyone is rather knowledgeable aboutthe way It is also not unusual for people to pair up in these kinds of trips There is one night where the girl who shares a roo However, this kind of romance on the road comes quickly and also leaves quickly rarely do people keep contact afterwards One night, I go with the group of friends I just befriended at a youth hostel in Lhasa to a bar on Beijing E Rd After a few rounds of drinking, we decide to play the ga, but after seeing that all the Truth questions have to do with sex and the Dares are in to lose interest in the ga Beijing man asks me When was your first tih before answering haltingly I haven t There s a round of laughter Quite a fewme like they want to undress me with their eyes One even jokes that he can help ht then I don t understand what the young people are thinking these days Apparently people ins are considered some alien species Nowadays, the trend is to treat love and sex like fast food eat quickly, wipe your mouth, andThewhile before asking can I when he wants to kiss me still exist Or perhaps in this 21st century, this kind of love has beco these social gatherings at bars That level of noise and debauchery, is it not simply a carnival of the lonely If that s the case, then I will choose to be alone and to find joy inthe streets of Lhasa during the night, and you can see how clear the night sky is, where stars twinkle so brightly overhead they feel almost within reach There are very few cities left where you can observe the stars this clearly I cannot help but recall the dom, situated next to an oasis in the desert I observe the Tibetan Buddhists and pray along with the Te Monastery Every tiet surprised and h my soul has been transported to another place in another sky After observing about a hundred te, I finally realize that no matter how far I run, I can never escape the lovesickness that has taken roots in the very depths of ht Jokhang Teet approached by sora at an archaeological institute It takes his forface reminds me of a certain so I cannot bear this feeling of loneliness any longer, or that I miss that person too much The reason why I accept that upperclassman s confession is simple He is a man from my reality and I, in the end, st and melancholy Makes translator me rather down heartened at tih sadness in ery of the lyrics to Leaf, Loneliness is a carnival of one And a carnival is a gathering of the lonely , even if it was a struggle to translate Songs, literary references and poems are the worst to translate After that is names of places Also note to self add Tibet to places I must visit before I die That said, not sure I want to use this Sichuan Tibet Highway route Don t know if beauty is worth the danger of possibly dying while en route Anddd we re done with Part II, phew Part III is next, which is probably the part I dread the onna be so painful to translate My heart already hurts at the very thought That said, ero up spoilers , so be prepared I do hope to see y all again soon, but it s going to be busy for me in the next couple months as I am about to move to a new apartment, so Hopefully I d be able to churn out a chapter or two beforemess p