126 Dont Be In A Hurry To Leave Us Again (2/2)

”I must have sounded so cool and brave,” An Ning said with a smile. ”Even when Han left me for Valerie I didn't feel anything but relief actually. Han was nice and I really liked him but I felt no emotional connection to him whatsoever. Sometimes I would look at him and ask myself who the hell is this person? But I was pregnant and he said he was the father so,” she shrugged. ”I didn't want my child to be born without one so I decided what the heck. He was a very nice man who obviously likes me a lot. He smelled nice. Really good in the sack but...,” An Ning suddenly looked at him. ”Was that your doing?”

”His being good in the sack?”

”You were controlling him when he did that?” Now it was An Ning's turn to feel outraged. ”Of all the damn tricks!”

”I couldn't reinsert myself in my old body but I found out it was still connected to me in some way so I started experimenting.”

”By having Han fuck me?” An Ning's eyes were stormy with rage.

”I joined in. Does that make you feel better?” he smiled.

An Ning angrily stood up and walked off. Before she could take one step, however, Nian Zhen had already reached out and enfolded her in his arms. He plastered her close to his body as if he wanted to mould her body to his skin and his bones. His hold was so tight that she couldn't breath, couldn't even move an inch. She tried to struggle but his grip tightened so she was forced to stand still, not even moving a muscle as he muttered her name over and over again.

”What?” she frowned suddenly. ”What did you say?”

”I said I don't want you to ever marry anyone after I'm gone,” he whispered hoarsely, his breath warm on her neck. ”Don't fall in love with another guy either or I'll get really mad.”

An Ning's lips lifted in a soft smile. She lightly pushed him away so she could look up and meet his gaze. His eyes were warm and soft but she could the glint of something scary that should make her feel uneasy. But An Ning met it head on. Although she transmigrated into the body of a young teenager, her mind retained the focus and maturity of her modern age. She was not afraid of his desire or his need of her. She and this man in whatever ways and forms have long entangled with each other for far too long. He was right about one thing, they were not done entangling, not now or ever. Even if one of them were to say stop or they both die, fate and the insanity of pre-selection would still see their lives forming and tangling in some way. There was always the sense of the unfinished between the two of them. The unfinished between the two of them...the words suddenly sent chills down An Ning's spine.

”What's wrong?” Nian Zhen who was sensitive to her every move noticed the flicker of something strange on her expression.

”Nothing,” she hastily said. ”Anyway, regarding your suggestion, I'm still young so why shouldn't I fall in love and get married? Who can predict this things anyway?”

Nian Zhen narrowed his eyes dangerously.

”You already have someone in mind, miss?” he gritted out. ”Who is he?”

”You're talking nonsense,” An Ning said. ”Let go.”

”Tell me,” he demanded.

”Why should I tell you anything? Aren't you giving up and is just waiting for Hades to pass his judgment? If that is the case, then nothing you say is relevant anymore, right?”

Nian Zhen looked as if she had just stabbed him in the back then kicked him out to boil in the hot sun. His arms fell to his sides, allowing An Ning to walk away. She went to their room and when she came back, she was already dressed in what she likes to call her working clothes, tight leather pants and sleeveless tank top. The ubiquitous strips of bandages were wrapped around her lower arms and neck. She looked like a badass warrior woman looking for a fight.

”Where are you going?” he asked.

”Out,” she said.

”An Ning...”

He whispered her name but he saw that he heard because she stopped and turned around. They gazed at each other from a short distance yet Nian Zhen felt like it was a deep chasm because he suddenly felt cold and alone. Like the first time he opened his mud eyes and realized he had gone back to whatever natural state of barbarism humanity had started from and he might never see her again.

”I'm sorry,” he muttered. ”I can only cling to you because I know I will again leave you very soon. I don't want to but I am a wanted man by hell itself, An Ning. I can only plead that I did it because I felt wronged but I know whatever it is I say in my defense, my crimes are too horrendous to be forgiven,” Nian Zhen stopped. When he resumed, his voice dripped ice. ”I didn't start out like this, you know. I've always been a law abiding man. I didn't even cheat on my taxes and even when I did cheat on you, I was so bad at it I died.”

An Ning walked towards him and when she stopped, Nian Zhen almost staggered at the heat of her gaze.

”That's why I'm telling you to snap out of that self-imposed prison of shame and regret. I don't care if you killed millions to get back to me. You said it yourself, you needed to do what you had to do to survive. Everyone of us, even me, would have done the same thing you did, Nian Zhen. I would have defied god even since what do I have to lose? I'm already damned so what's a little more million lives worth to me?”

Nian Zhen took a deep breath.

”You know, you can be pretty scary,” he said with a little laugh.

”What are million's lives worth to me compared to my daughter's? Precisely nothing,” An Ning said, her face grim. ”So, don't ever tell me I should be scared and do nothing because that's not an option, ever.”

”I'm sorry,” he said again, pressing his forehead against hers and gathering her close. ”I'm sorry I let you see how really scared I am. I'm sorry for letting you down. I'm sorry for disappointing you with my negative attitude.”

An Ning sighed and looped her arms around his waist.

”You didn't let me down and you didn't disappoint me. I am angry though that you immediately offered your life for our daughter as if that's the only possible way out of this. No more talk about exchanging lives with anybody, okay? Even if it's our children. I am grateful but, Nian Zhen, for whatever reason, against hell's expectations, you are here. Don't be in a hurry to leave us again, okay?”

Nian Zhen lifted his head studied An Ning's face with shining eyes. He could see the troubled look between her smooth brows, the droop on her lids.

”Does that mean you like me back?” he teased, lightly pressing his lips on hers.

”I've grown used to you,” An Ning lightly shrugged. ”We all have.”

With a smothered groan, Nian Zhen opened his mouth and kissed An Ning as if he was drowning. She didn't hold back either. She offered her lips without protest. Her tongue was sucked and licked and her lips bitten until they were rubbed raw from the strength and desperation of his kiss. He could have taken her there and then and she wouldn't have protested but Nian Zhen merely buried his face between her neck as he sobbed over and over again: ”I don't want to leave you. Ning Ning, I don't want to leave you ever again.”

An Ning held him securely in her strong young arms. His vulnerability and his fear were part of the fabric that now defines this strange relationship of theirs. She doesn't remember Nian Zhen from his past life. She could only see some glimmer of it in his present incarnation. She realized that she couldn't ask him to lend her his strength because frankly, he had none to spare. He had used up all his strength and whatever fortitude he might have possessed getting here to where he wanted to be. She will lose him surely if she pushed him too far.

But she will not allow him to exchange his life for their daughter's or her's or their son's. It would be the cruelest thing she will ever do if she did. Hades wants Nian Zhen? Then let him fight for the privilege of getting him. Nian Zhen's life or soul will not be offered on a platter by her or anyone just because the king of hell is offended by his existence. Too fucking bad. The Underworld clearly needs some shakeup by the look of things.