126 Dont Be In A Hurry To Leave Us Again (1/2)

”What are you thinking?” An Ning finally broke the silence. They were in the tower after Hypnos let them go, saying mockingly they could talk it over as Hades was in no hurry to let such a sweet and beautiful girl like Pollux go.

It took will and effort for Nian Zhen not to jump at this beast and pummel him to death but he managed to contain his anger after meeting the warning in An Ning's eyes. He took a deep breath and turned around, hearing Hypnos' mocking laughter behind him.

”I will go and exchange myself for Pollux,” he said, meeting her eyes. ”I have to save our daughter, An Ning. This is the surest way.”

An Ning didn't answer just considered him in silence.

”Do you know why Hades wants you?” she finally asked.

Nian Zhen's smiled was self-mocking.

”I killed a lot of people. Their souls are inside me. They're what keeps me alive. And the Underworld is a destination for souls that die. It's easy to figure out why he wants me.”

”Nian Zhen...”

”I murdered a lot of people, An Ning,” Nian Zhen said without defending himself. ”I killed thousands. Most of them innocent lives I've taken for their souls because I needed them. There is no excuse for what I did. Do I regret it? Yes. Would I stop if I had known my daughter was to become payment for my crimes? Probably not. I did what I had to do. There was no wrong or right at the precise moment while I was doing these murders. I just did what I did to survive.”

”I'm not blaming you,” An Ning said. ”I'm looking at this from the profitability angle.”

Nian Zhen frowned.

”What do you mean?”

”Why did it took Hades this long to come after you? He has power over the dead but why didn't he demand payment as soon as you killed your first hundred? Out of the goodness of his heart he waited until you killed thousands before making his move? It doesn't make sense.”

”Maybe he didn't know what to do. I am the only one of my kind, An Ning. I've asked around, believe me. Most souls I've met in my travels were discarded or forgotten for no particular reason. They all became lost souls after dying physically. I was lower than dust when Han kicked me out of my body and he took over. I was nothing. Lowest than even the lowliest animal,” Nian Zhen took a deep breath. ”What I resented most was whoever it was who condemned me into nothing didn't even erase my memory. I was powerless. I was exposed and vulnerable. The funny thing is I didn't lose my faith in god. I know he exists it's just that whoever it was he assigned to look after me didn't care enough to know what happened to me afterwards.”

”If I had known...” An Ning said helplessly, looking at him with unwilling pity.

”Don't you dare pity me,” Nian Zhen spat out. ”I blame no one for what happened. Of course, I would rather kill my own brother than forgive him but it wasn't his fault either, you know. He did what he needed to do to hang on to you as I did what I had to do to make you mine. It's called rivalry and competition and I won. It's just this assholes Hypnos and Hades...”

”Like two dogs fighting over a bone?” An Ning's voice was amused.

”What?” Nian Zhen stared at her, surprised then as the meaning of her words sunk in he smiled. ”You could say that.”

”I'm not worth it, you know that, don't you?” An Ning softly said. ”Don't hang a halo over my head because it's not deserved.”

”To me you are the sweetest and kindest and most important person in my life,” Nian Zhen said. He was looking at An Ning coolly and almost indifferently. His beautiful face was calm and stoic but if one would care to look far behind his cool eyes, one would see the glint of an overwhelming possessiveness he was trying to mask behind an icy facade.

Nian Zhen checked the urge to suddenly grab and pounce on An Ning with all his strength. Now that fate has once again put his life on the line and claimed his daughter as collateral, he finds himself scared and frightened. He knew that the probability of him losing An Ning completely was 100 percent. He will leave her for the last time and that would be it. He would probably die for real this time. He would die and his memory erased. But then his daughter Pollux would be safe and afterwards it would be all over.

Why then did he feel a fiery itch under his skin, the power of those souls solidifying their hatred against him so that he would lose himself and they would take over?

”I'm not kind and I'm not sweet,” An Ning was saying. ”I just want a comfortable life so I get really cranky when somebody tries to annoy me.”

”You may not remember but I felt physically ill when you said you were leaving me,” Nian Zhen said quietly. ”An Ning, have you ever felt that you and I, whatever happens or whoever comes between us, that we're not done with loving or hating each other? That we will never be done even when we say stop? This...between us...I don't know what it is...but even at the point of death, I could not let go. Would not let go. There is always something... regret perhaps, resentment...I only know that the most hurtful thing god ever did to me was rob me of my breath the moment I realized how truly and deeply and achingly I love you.”

Nian Zhen stopped then chuckled when he saw An Ning's expression.

”Please don't look at me like that. You thought I fell for Valerie and that was true. I fell for the ephemeral, the magic, the most beautiful Kodak moment of my life and that was it. I fell in love with the moment not the woman.”

”It was bound to happen,” An Ning said, sinking deeper into the comfort of her chair. ”Based on what people told me, well, Dad really, it seemed that I really put in an effort to catch you as a husband. I probably stopped you from dating other women in the past, right?”

”What the hell are you saying?” Nian Zhen was angry. He didn't like An Ning's tone and her coolness when looking at him.

”We grew up together, right? And it seems to me I was really hang up on you. Was it an obsession? Well, that couldn't be healthy. A situation like that. I'm not saying it as a criticism but that kind of obsession was bound to lead to disaster and it did when you fell for Valerie.”

”I didn't will myself to fall for her, you know. It just happened,” Nian Zhen was beginning to feel outraged. Why the hell is she so cool discussing his infidelity? Shouldn't she be pummeling his head for his betrayal?

”I'm not saying you did it on purpose. Look, I'm not blaming you. What I'm trying to say is the two of us...given the fact that we were as close as Siamese twins...when an outside stimuli accidentally wanders in, it was bound to change the old dynamics,” An Ning shrugged.

”Are you, by any chance, trying to excuse my infidelity?” Nian Zhen was shocked and outraged and furious at the same time.

”If it had been me and Han meeting for the first time, in the garden, in the same circumstances, how would you feel?”

A red haze seemed to cover Nian Zhen's eyes. An Ning literally saw him nearly blow his top but Nian Zhen calmed himself down and took a deep breath.

”I would have killed you and him then and there,” he said with grim determination.

An Ning laughed, realizing something for the first time.

”You must have been really hurt when instead of confronting you and your mistress I calmly asked for a divorce, right?”

”What do you think?”