26 Chapter 26: A Sin I Commi (2/2)

My parents literally didn't allow me to step out of the palace at all. They even invited the bandits over to discuss. We appointed the bandit leader from the group I had captured before to become the city master of the harbor in the south. The bandits were really grateful, and it was nice. I reflected on the death of Sadie Shih by my hands for the next few days after, while taking dance lessons, politics, history and even music lessons.

Mother had complained, ”You need to be more ladylike! Music is a must!”

”U-uhhhh ok...mother…”

I honestly don't get why I need to learn music, I mean, it sounds nice and all, but … anyways, in some free afternoons, I learned swordsmanship with the soldiers. Commander Yang kept blabbering about how great the sword is, and was dissing that the dagger was useless and bad and sHoRt, but like, it's a dagger because it's sHoRt!

”Your highness, it's time for you to sleep,” Qu says.

”Ok!”

I close my diary that I have been using to keep track of things that happened, and I get onto my comfy bed. I immediately fall asleep in the comfort and softness. I feel myself as I get washed into dreamland. Hmmm, what dreams will I see today? After a while, a familiar face appears. XiaoLong! His smile and that beautiful night appears. I shudder, even though I know it's just a dream. I, who almost killed him horribly, forsaken his kindness, misjudged him, and now I'm a murderer. I squirm in pain as his image literally haunts me. Why do you keep appearing? Why?

I can hear a tiny voice in my head, ”It's because you-”

”NO!” I internally scream.

I wake up in the middle of the night and turn on a lamp. I walk over to my desk and sit down. I sigh as I pull out some books about politics and take notes. This'll help me get my mind off things. It surely did, quite well. I focus as I take my notes and ponder about the kingdom I will rule in the future. Shortly after, I finally fall asleep, but on my desk.