Vol 1 Chapter 6 (1/2)

Matsuoka sent two e- Hirosue only sent one response, which seeation towards Matsuoka

Matsuoka sent e-mails every day Sometimes he called, but they could never have a decent conversation because the other man would soon lapse into silence

Hirosue only sends one reply because I e-s that don’t really need an answer Our phone conversations don’t last very long because he’s just not very good at talking That’s all, Matsuoka told himself over and over like a mantra

He always eagerly anticipated Hirosue’s replies When they were loo him; he knew that if he did, they would probably lose touch altogether

One day ine-mails and the very occasional phone call, Matsuoka failed to receive even the single e-mail per day that Hirosue sent This worried him―Hirosue had sent one every day until now―but he felt like he would be exaggerating if he called thean e-mail So he restrained himself

The next day, he received an e- Matsuoka was relieved, but on the following day, there was no e-ot a reply the day after that Gradually, it becaet a reply every other day That becareider between each reply

Matsuoka felt like Hirosue was intentionally leading their relationshi+p towards an end, and began to purposely send e-mails that required a reply Hirosue sent punctilious answers to those, but if he didn’t need to, the gaps widened between each e-ain

Matsuoka knew he had to do so soon, so he invited Hirosue out to eat ‘How about dinner together, since it’s been a while?’ he wrote He had not seen Hirosue at all since that day in the end of February when he had made his intrusive visit to the man’s workplace

Every invite Matsuoka sent was turned doith an excuse―“My on’t end until late,” or “I’o”

Matsuoka was siain For the restaurant, he went out of his way to choose the izakaya near headquarters, which Hirosue had frequented before They were toin front of the station Tiny cherry blossost the people co people being dwarfed by their new suits Matsuoka arrived fifteen minutes early; on the contrary, Hirosue arrived fifteen minutes late

“I’ized when he saw Matsuoka He wasn’t out of breath, nor was his hair dishevelled There was a bit of distance between the bus stop and this spot; Matsuoka could tell that Hirosue hadn’t bothered to run even though he was late, but he couldn’t bring himself to criticize the man for it

The little things bothered hiain However, Hirosue looked anything but excited for their meal His attitude screamed of one who had come out for the sake of politeness because he had been invited so many times Matsuoka refused to let the man’s apathetic attitude diminish his spirits

“Let’s go, then”

Matsuoka wasn’t bothered that the man walked behind him, either It’s not norht to hi across from each other whether Hirosue liked it or not He only had to feel lonely on the walk there That hat he told himself

When they arrived at the restaurant, they were shown to a table instead of the counter because they had a reservation Matsuoka inwardly shen he realized it was the same table they had sat at when he came here with Hirosue for the first time in female form But all the seats in the restaurant were occupied, so he wasn’t going to be selfish and ask to have their seats changed

The aard air lingered as they sat in the salummer than when Matsuoka had first seen him today Matsuoka renewed his attitude and acted cheerful, trying his best not to get dragged down along with him

“What do you feel like eating? The fish was really good here, wasn’t it? Feel free to pick anything you like, Mr Hirosue”

Hirosue threw a glance at the menu

“I don’t feel like eating fish today,” he muttered

“Oh, then by all rilled egg? I feel like eating salad, so I’ll order a jako salad What do you want to drink?”

“I’ll have a beer,” Hirosuetheir orders, their drinks and appetizers were brought out first They did not clink glasses, but insteadtheir drinks to their lips

After taking one draught, Hirosue put his beer glass down on the table His face was turned slightly to the side, and he did not even try to look at Matsuoka He didn’t seem keen to start a conversation, either

“Was the financial closing this year hard on you guys at the lab, too?” Matsuoka started with a harmless topic

“I guess so I just transferred to the lab last year, so I can’t tell yet whether it’s hard or not”

“Alright, sure,” Matsuoka conceded “The end of the fiscal year is always tough, you know, because that’s when you’re faced with everything you’ve put off for the whole year I’e to meet my quota every month, but other people seem to have it pretty hard Employers are stricter nowadays, too”

Hirosue bobbed his head slightly in response

“Especially when it co to secure a contract, but I never feel any enormous sense of accomplishment We’re kind of like sales counter people The products are already finished―our job is just to sell them I know it’s a necessary position, but still, you know?”

Matsuoka glanced up at Hirosue “But if you work in a lab, I’ so job”

“I’m just a clerk”

Matsuoka’s attempt at flattery was easily deflected

“Yeah, sure, but I’ rubs off when you watch the people in Research and Developht?”

“Not really,” Hirosueof his beer

“Okay Well, I got put into Sales because selling things is the only thing I’ood at, but nowadays I think it would have been nice to be in R&D”

Hirosue spoke at a ratio of about one-to-nine to Matsuoka Every topic Matsuoka brought up was met with a one-word answer He could clearly tell that Hirosue was not in theas they were sitting together like this, Matsuoka felt like he needed to keep talking about so

“You guys had new researchers coht?”

“I think so…”

“Are a lot of theraduate school, or someplace like that?”

“I don’t know”

“You haven’t asked?”

Hirosue sighed heavily Matsuoka could almost hear him say, I’m sick and tired of this

“I don’t really talk about education levels with people at the lab ―Can I eat a little?”

“Oh―sure”

Matsuoka felt a strange nagging sense at the way Hirosue spoke He hadn’t been talking about education at all; he was only curious

TheMatsuoka brought the slightly-cooled food to his lips It was supposed to taste the saood

“I’ht now,” Matsuoka heard the owner say He looked up to see fukuda, Hirosue’s former boss and a member of Matsuoka’s cohort

He cursed inwardly and averted his eyes

“Hey, Matsuoka, is that you?”

The sharp-eyed nore him now that he had been spoken to fukuda was even approaching their table

“I didn’t know you knew about this place, too,” fukudaacross frohtly

“It’s been a while,” he said

“It has,” said fukuda, barely acknowledging the ,” he drawled “My girlfriend is dying to eat here Apparently this place was featured in a ood food Would you uys?”

Matsuoka hesitated to answer because he wanted to enjoy the meal alone with Hirosue But the man across from him answered instead

“We don’t mind”

“Oh, really? I’ll bring her over, then” fukuda proht a wootten a new girlfriend True to fukuda’s preference for good looks, she was above-average in terave her any credit

“I’ave a friendly smile to Hirosue and Matsuoka She seemed to be amiable, at least

Noith people beside hiirlfriend, conversely, laughed often at nothing in particular Perhaps they were still in the beginning stages of dating

“Hey,” fukuda began, “I’ve wanted to ask you this before, but how do you guys know each other? You’re over at Koishi+ka, Mr Hirosue, so you guys don’t have much of a chance to run into each other, do you?” fukuda started to talk to theirlfriend, who had begun to eat Matsuoka wasn’t about to tell hiether a convenient story

“I go to Koishi+kawa sometimes for sales visits That’s where I met Mr Hirosue”

“Isn’t Koishi+kawa, like, twenty minutes away from here?” fukuda murmured, then turned to Hirosue “If you can finish work and still make it down here at this time, that must mean you end pretty early, don’t you?”

Hirosue didn’t ignore the remark that was directed at him

“It ht be earlier compared to when I was in General Affairs”

“Oh,his shoulders as if he had been waiting for that answer “I’m so jealous of General Aduys end early and you don’t seem too busy, either I wish I could work over there”

He didn’t mean a word of what he said, but that was the kind ofhe had pulled the strings to shi+p Hirosue off to Koishi+kawa

“Coet to slack off all you want outside”

fukuda’s girlfriend took his utterance at face value

“Is it really like that in Sales?” she asked Matsuoka in amazement

“Yeah,” fukuda answered for him “You’re pretty much free to do whatever you ith your time for the whole day”

That’s just your assurinned and endured it

“Why don’t you coh at the end of the fiscal year, but otherwise it’s s”

“Yeah, but you know,” fukuda murmured “I am the chief of General Affairs, after all”

“You’d do fine in Sales,” Matsuoka said in a half-hearted atteed enough to transfer to Sales, he would no doubt be ensnared and dragged down by the ht, indeed

Matsuoka glanced at the table during his conversation with fukuda and realized Hirosue’s glass was empty

“Oh, Mr Hirosue How about so to drink?”

“Beer,” Hirosue answered, so Matsuoka ordered another of the saave the order, he realized how red thethehis pace, but since he was only on his third glass, Matsuoka didn’t

“Say, Mr Hirosue, didn’t you have a girlfriend?” fukuda said “That tall, thin girl with fair skin,” he said jabbing his conversational feelers into a topic Matsuoka had not wanted to touch

“No,” Hirosue said flatly, denying Yoko Eto’s existence with vehemence

“Huh? But you did That was all our depart about after the farewell party Like about where you met and stuff”

“She’s not irlfriend”

fukuda cocked his head “Okay,” he said “So she wasn’t your girlfriend Now that you uess it make sense She was too pretty, alether”

fukuda was being rude, but Hirosue showed no signs of getting angry

“Well, you ht?”

“Right But she broke up with me, so I don’t really want to talk about it”

Matsuoka didn’t miss fukuda smirk

“Mr Hirosue, h”

“Maybe I did”

fukuda grinned sain at Hirosue’s reply Conversation appeared to be hu at their table, but fukuda was the only one actually talking Hirosue didn’t talk unless he was spoken to, and Matsuoka only interjected in response

“Can I have another drink, please? Kikusui this time”

Matsuoka glanced at Hirosue’s hand and noticed that his beer glass, which had been full seconds ago, was already empty The man’s ears were beet-red Matsuoka continued to watch as thehis chopsticks, tried and failed twice to clarilled rice balls

“Are you sure you should be drinking that much?” Matsuoka whispered to hilass of cold sake was brought, he downed it in one continuous draught

“Excuse me, I’d like another one of the sa by

“Shouldn’t you lay off a bit?” Matsuoka said concernedly “You still have work toover”

Hirosue lifted his face “It’s none of your concern whether I have a hard ti over, is it?” he said coldly Matsuoka was speechless fukuda, who had been listening to them, intervened

“Hey,” he said “That’s no way to talk Matsuoka’s just worried about you, Mr Hirosue,” he reprimanded

“You’re right,” Hirosue muttered in a voice that lacked any sincerity, and drained the new glass of cold sake like water He fulass, which slipped out of his hand and fell to the floor There was no doubt about his inebriation now

“Whoa!” As Hirosue drew back to pick up the glass, which was luckily not broken, he swayed and leaned heavily against fukuda

“Geez, Mr Hirosue, how drunk are you?” fukuda wrinkled his brow, not even trying to hide his displeasure

“I’ized, but his body still teetered as if he were on a shi+p Unable to watch any longer, Matsuoka stood from his seat and went around the table to Hirosue’s side

“Mr Hirosue, can you make it over here?”

Hirosue glanced at Matsuoka, but did not listen to hihing down on fukuda beside him

“God, you’re heavy,” the man complained

Matsuoka went over to the ht him out to the aisle

“Mr Hirosue’s pretty drunk, so I think we’re going to head home”

Please do, fukuda’s face seeht, then See you,” he said with a wave Hirosue by now could not even stand on his feet Matsuoka sat hiister and paid for both of the touched, but Matsuoka forcefully took his shoulder and exited the restaurant

“I can… walk by ered back and forth like he was dancing Matsuoka disregarded the words of the drunk, took his shoulder, and walked along slowly

The intoxicated man was heavy to carry Matsuoka wished they could reach the main road quickly so they could hail a taxi Just then, he heard a foreboding muffled belch from the man beside him

Hirosue’s face was pale as he pressed a hand to his es in the middle of the path, where Hirosue doubled over and threw up Matsuoka rubbed the man’s back the whole time as he vo the contents of his sto came up Matsuoka sat Hirosue down on the stairs at the entrance of a five-storey building and looked for a vending ht a bottle of water and returned to the man’s side

“Rinse your mouth out with this”

Hirosue took the water froes, where he rinsed his mouth out He squatted down on the spot Matsuoka half-carried Hirosue away from the et in the way of other people

“Do you still feel sick?” he asked, sitting down beside the man

“A little…” came the answer If he put Hirosue on a taxi now, the ain Matsuoka decided it was better to stay here for a while to let the alcohol leave his system

Hirosue stretched out on the stairs, not eventhe dirt on his clothes Hope he has an extra suit he can wear toh he kneasn’t any of his business

“You have no proble lies, do you,” Hirosue mumbled Matsuoka turned around “You lied to Mr fukuda You said you caot to know me”

Matsuoka wondered why thethis up now

“What else could I have done? I wasn’t going to tell hi”

“It doesn’tor how small―a lie is still a lie”

It annoyed hinificant

“What, are you saying I should have told hi? Make hih at me?”

“That’s not what I meant”

“That’s exactly what it means when you tell me not to lie!” Matsuoka yelled at him Hirosue held his head in his hands and closed his mouth An aard silence fell between them Matsuoka chewed his lip and looked out at thethe continuous line of cars with his eyes

“I didn’t feel like going to work today,” the man said abruptly He had been so silent until now, Matsuoka had thought he had fallen asleep “I felt depressed when I thought about having to ”

Matsuoka felt his chest wring painfully

“I wondered why I had to meet with you when I didn’t even want to see your face, e didn’t even have anything to talk about I wanted to stop e- you, but you’d always reply back, so…”

He knew theBut it was still painful to hear it directly from him

“So do you hate me, then, Mr Hirosue?”

There was no answer

“If you hate me, say so”

By refusing to answer, Matsuoka felt like theconfrontation It was underhanded of the ht