Part 8 (1/2)

I brought the rock up and sot excited and hit its back instead It screaain

After a while, it didn't move; it just lay there in a bloody heap in her lap I panted hard and sat down next to her That blue eye swiveled toward rateful It was impossible to understand the look The eye patch didn't help I tugged at the pig, but she held on for dear life Or dear death? Dear unlife? Whatever

I pulled, but she didn't let go I wanted to haul the piggy back to camp, chop it up and eat it Ribs! I could eat ribs! If I could cut it open I finally took one of her arave up, and I was able to pry the heavy corpse from her She came at me, of course, but I batted her hands aside as I had done ave up on uess a zombie really can learn new tricks Her eye trained on the prize She leaped at it and round and going for the neck She ripped out a huge hairy chunk

I tore the pig free again and started dragging it back to camp She tried to stand, but fell I couldn't help but look at the huge gash on the calf of her leg Bone, pus-grey-covered muscles and tendons made me think of a medical class on cadavers I would have to look at it later, unfortunately For now, all I wanted was to cut this pig up and eat until I couldn't move Then eat more

It was a tough sucker to slice up, and I drooled the entire ti, cut the skin loose, yanked it down the rawbone, and put it near the fire I stoked up the fla strips and hanging the jerky I didn't knowto learn really fast That or die frohts of hoonderful theto be when she finally crawled back into ca a snore I slipped a gag over herat , and it wasn't as bad as I thought The horn had gone in and then out cleanly I brought back soash, then I tore up a shi+rt that was too big for me and wrapped it around the wound Later, I planned to boil some water and pour it in there Not like she would feel it

I tied her to the tree, but she just lay at its base like she was depressed or soive a zombie that is down? Zoloft starts with a Z If I come up with a cure, I will call it ZedLoft

I turned the ers in the process, but I didn't care I just wanted to eat One side was crispy, and I waited for it to cool so I could tear a chunk off It est thirty seconds ofthe meat Couldn't help but think of all the blood she had on her face fro

I stood up and screaround like it was round See how I do? I kept on screa until my voice was completely raw Then I couldn't screa probably had the zo it What the hell was I thinking? I wasn't I was starving I pushed the rest of the corpse into the fire, curled up in a ball and cried until I fell asleep

Day 24

My Girlfriend Likes it When I Talk Dirty

Rose at the crack of dawn, because there was nothing else to do When the sun starts to shi+ne, I have to get motivated I find that I am more and more tired every day I'm sure it's a lack of vitamins, decent food, and well, let's be honest here, Diary, a lack of love My zoirlfriend ever I swear she hates rowling before I could even take a piss I should be eating a big pile of pig ht now, but she had to ruin that too Back to shellfish and crab today, if I can catch any I realized later that feeding the crab the zoain, I don't even know if he got any down Had a zoht be a different ht

I would kill for a cup of coffee I haven't had any in weeks I aht The headaches, the shakes, the cold sweat A lifetime of caffeine addiction was hard to break, but I didn't really have a choice No Starbucks stands with young girls named Amber or Gwen on this island

I have been here for twenty-two days, and I wonder if they are even looking for us The crash must have been near here, because I didn't float in the water for very long that first day At least I don't think so I was out for the count It's really a wonder I didn't drown Of course, she survived as well, only to turn into a zoot to the island

When I tied her up last night, IBut I find I am not really in theI don't even want to get up! I want to lie here and be miserable Yeah, yeah, poor me I should throw a pity party, but there's no one to invite

Ally would have none of that if she were here She'd stare at lasses and say, ”Get your butt in gear, Mister” And then she would hit me with one of those sunny smiles that make me feel like I am on top of the world

I looked over at her, but she didn't even sood word She looked ateye, and the blue eye patch that covered her e I bet when she bit into that stupid pig, it shook some loose Where's a dentist when you need one? Hey, Doc! Got a deader here! Think you can fix her up? Maybe soly ones? How about that big space in back where her molars fell out? Eh, Doc?

”What the hell are you staring at?” I shouted at her I picked up a couple of chunks of driftwood and threw theht have hit her on the chest She didn't even bat an eye

She just stared at o away? Leavezoot to my feet and walked over to her I picked up a rock and held it at my side I yanked the rope loose from the tree and threw it at her She hissed and snarled behind the gag She reached forto have to put up with her?

”Go find your own place! Find someone else to take care of you! Why don't you fuck off?” I yelled and shoved her away She took one stu step and fell to her hands and knees I planted ave her a shove She went down flat, sprawled to the ground spread eagle I wished she earing so besides the coconut halves

She worked her way to her feet ever so slowly I held the rock over her head and felt around in h with it To be a man and put her out of her-and my-misery She crawled to her feet and walked toward the beach I didn't have the energy to go after her I should at least put so ball ofhours but only cae starfish Yay Stuff tastes like shi+t; I hate them I cooked theh, starfish guts and all I wonder if these things are a delicacy in some part of the world I found a coconut on my way back to camp and devoured it too I think it orse than the starfish

Here is the thing about starfish, Diary I saw theht they were cute They are not cute They are gross, and they ss on the bottom, and the texture is really weird when you crunch on a freshly cooked one I have tried them raw, and they taste bitter and sort of like shi+t I heard once that they regenerate if you cut off a piece Whatever I just choke the little fuckers down and hope I don't puke

I went to the pool of water that is a few minutes fros, talked to a rock, you know, crazy stuff like that Have Iout under the waterfall and let it fall on my shoulders in the hope it would take so how long I could hold my breath, and had just counted to sixty when I cae of the water on unsteady legs She took a sha step back when I appeared, and she snarled at me like I was a hunk of sirloin

I snarled back

She took another step forward and then fell I shookto dry off with, but in the heat, it didn't reallyhole in her calf was easier to see in the day The dae was pretty bad A nor, but she ed it somehow

I splashed some water on it and looked her over I was always careful about this part The pool of water flows out to a stream so I always make sure the water that touches her is on the et any of her zombie crap in my mouth while out for a swim

Dear God, she was a s out of the wound first They were just getting settled in, so there weren't any ed her into the water and went at her body with a s that had made a home in her various cracks and crevices I uy and he tried to give it to her, he would probably lose his junk to the things living up there

The eye patch was the worst There was a large caterpillar thing living in there I took it out and held it up to the light It wiggled and all those little legs twitched at the air as if trying to find so to latch onto I should have left the rock eye in the hole I rinsed him in the water, took a handful of sand and scrubbed hiain She lay on her back and stared at the sky,bug He was long enough to reach er I s's head off It caooey caramel-same color I just wish it tasted like a caramel I think the little feelers had a salty, crunchy flavor I tried to iine they were French fries

”You ood food container” I patted her knee ”Stupid zombie twit No, really, I have seen fence posts withlive again, please don't bite it”

Her eye swiveled todead and all I put her eye patch in place, double-checked her gag, and then just stared at her for a few minutes Splotches of skin have started to dry up around her shoulders and on her legs I touched one, and it felt like old leather or so Not like when you touch a nice jacket This was cold and rough

I pushed on a spot again and the patch shi+fted, then tore free I jumped back and stared at the flesh underneath, except it wasn't anything like flesh Flesh was the nasty shi+t I just knocked off her leg This was a dried-out layer of blood over the muscles and sinehich were in really bad shape She rolled to her side and stood up, and the hunk of dead skin hung there like a net that drew my eyes The layer under it sort of crunched up and down as she took a step toward ht her I slipped ontrek to the beach so I could gather more food

It was hotter than usual, and it was a relief to walk into the seawater when I got tothe coolness while I tried to stay still, spear tip in the water, just waiting for some likely fish to swim by I would settle for a medium-sized one hell, a set the spear tip into its body

I looked back toward the island to see if she had caught up with n of her I saw the parts of her husband hanging in the tree, and I felt sorry for him Poor bastard I bet when he took off in the plane with his hot wife, he didn't have any idea that within a week he would die, float in the water, end up as food for his dead wife, coain Life's a bitch on a deserted island Then you get hacked into little pieces

Why wouldn't Hollywood turn that into aIt had a ro zoood zombie movie!

A shape flashed by, and I speared down in the hope that it was a fish I was too slow and didn't hit anything I walked a few steps along the reef, but the thing was gone I went back to watching the water Every once in a while, I ducked my head in the water and opened my eyes to look around for likely victi toward h the water, only a whisper like a wave parting over a rock No warning! The silent hunter had arrived, and I just about jue fin, which was oddly tilted to the side instead of straight up and down I backed up

Shark! It was a freaking shark!