Part 6 (1/2)

I took off her gag, helped her sit up a bit, put her head in my lap, and held her chin so she wouldn't turn and bite me in the junk Then poured soave her h it looked like I had barely touched the bottle Each drink burned like fire down my throat I wondered if she felt it

One sip for me, one sip for her She should at least die happy I bet she was a tequila girl when she was alive She looks like the party type-or she did Now she looks like a party zombie in a hula skirt

I stood up and nearly fell over when the liquor hitto use on her Well, not really Metaphorically speaking I staggered in a circle before wandering to where I had placed all the stuff I got off the plane I picked up the costume jewelry, went back to her, and put it all on She wore two necklaces and a pair of blue earrings that dangled almost to her shoulders Her ears weren't pierced, but that was okay I just shoved theh her earlobes She didn't even flinch I added a couple of bracelets I even put one on her sliood there

Then I put the gag back on her and helped her up We both staggered- I didn't think she could get drunk, but I bet that stuff will clean out her gut

I guess to her upside down Maybe it will cut back on the death breath

I tied her to the tree and went to fetch azines I passed out with my pants around -the fact that I passed out like that or the fact that I knew I had an audience and it just made it better

Day 19

My Girlfriend's Husband is a Jerk

fucking hangover

I haven't had one of those in a long time At least since my first miserable day on this over More like a crash-over I will never forget waking up on this stupid island all disoriented and hurting everywhere Was that just a feeeks ago? Seems like a few months Years Seems like a lifetime

I rolled over Felt like I had a mouth full of sand Then I brushed at round and sucked in a few teaspoons of the stuff I tried to spit, found out I didn't have any saliva, so I atteht next toto wash the stuff out But then I retched at the thought of that crap anywhere neararound my ankles Jesus

I patted her on the ass as I went by Thu She had fallen over a log and lay bent over all night God, I hope I didn't try to do anything stupid last night while she had her ass in the air

I walked to the stream, then collapsed next to it I splashed water into ht I was going to explode It arm, like usual, but I didn't care It was just about the best stuff I ever had in my mouth

I wished I had a bottle of Motrin to stop the pounding in my head

I was still nauseous, but I made it back to camp and collapsed in a heap I lay on the palallon as the sun ca at the ground and kicking her legs around as she tried to figure out how to get off the log Every once in a while, she edmy eyes from the cursed sun, I took a little stroll behind her I kept my eyes everywhere but on her backside Took a deep breath and prepared for the worst I parted the dried grass skirt and studied the view A couple of nasty-looking beetles had taken up residence in her nether regions

I turned away and threw up for about an hour Then I stuood tie rock by her hands It was about the size of a football I could pick it up and smash the back of her head in It would take all of about ten seconds There was one proble, and I was content to lie on the h of one content to pass the day in -over ass up and go hunt for food CheckUseless snares that couldn't latch onto a wild elephant if it walked over one in slow etthe shi+t out of the beetles, but that thought alain I should try to spear fish I haven't had much luck, but it did work once Nice quiet here I can stand in the cool ocean and just toss et my arain, tried to stand, but it looked like her leg was hooked under another branch Sucks not to have anyher hand forward like she could get a grip on soertips was sand

Tiet at it

I hauledin at a brisk pace today, little waves splashi+ng on the sandy shore The large white airplane section was right where I had left it I was happy that I pulled it so far up on shore Otherwise itpiece of plane like that, I can build so with it Of course, the best idea would be to just leave it there so any potential rescue craft can spot it

I looked through the luggage again, sorted out the wet clothes, tossed s for things I could use I found rowth of beard, but it was all scraggly and gross I found shaving lotion, and when I hit the trigger, a gel squirted out on the ground I scooped it up and sniffed it Smelled like a little slice of civilization I smeared some on the front of my shi+rt so I could s a blue stain behind

I could cut up the bags later and add the finished In fact, a strong tropical stor

I went back to caourmet meal of smoked oysters and coconut I wish I had just one of the macadamia nuts from yesterday When I opened the box, it was like I was a kid at Christun to le over the branch, so I untied her and helped her up We did the usual snarl dance, which is when she tries to bite et one around ood it does I left the one shoe on because she has trouble walking very fast I got tired of her trying to latch onto me, so I tied her hands behind her back like she wasShe still flailed in slow ray snake charhed as I watched her I really should have killed her today, but I had a terrible headache that wasn't getting any better I had hoped that et the alcohol out of eha, the pain throbbed in unison with my heart

I sat her down and put a branch over her lap so she was stuck to the ground Her feet scratched at the ground as her legsblue orb that follows o I put her out of my mind and tried to think of ed a little on both sides where we slept, but I would give just about anything to be in it right now

I closedover the shore made my head swi around in an A the thean's Island, and the whole cast of the show stood behind her, offering advice on my predicament

There was a crash that broke the drealed to wake up Had she sootten out fronore it, but the sound ofmade me open my eyes to an absolute horror I swear I let out a sirl with a skinned knee I ca so fast you would think my ass was on fire

A monstrosity had smashed into the camp It was at least six feet tall and walked with a li in strips One ar The body was bloated to twice the size of a person-giving the figure a cartoonish look It didn't help that he was fat to begin with Now he kind of looked like a fucked-up Macy's Parade balloon He didn't have on any clothes His dick should have been dangling, but it was a gnaay stu open all over hi in clumps around his head The so, I ca in the sun and it wasn't as foul as this I was about fifty feet ahen ave way to reason I stopped, turned toward caot rabbed a branch of bleached wood-the sa to kill her with-and ran back I pushed aside the branches and leaves until I could see intoat her She stared back at him They both moaned

Oh Jesus, I knew him! It was her husband My skin crawled at the complete horror beforebloated body, her with her sli had he floated in the water before co his way back to shore?

Hoeet A reunionfroether He stumbled toward her, but she just sat there with her hands behind her back and the branch over her lap Oh crap, he was going to kill her

I ran into cas, ”Hey, hey! Leave her alone!”

He turned toward me with empty eye sockets trained onout of it The other hite but livid, lined with pus and sos A bunch of barnacles had latched onto soht below the eye Others sprouted on his arh I wanted to run away, set the place on fire, swiet away from this horror

He drew back his lip, just the top one-the other was torn away-and snarled atto protect me from his bite Ah crap! I held the stick in front of ed bodySo I resorted to some ninja moves I swept the branch do to knock his feet out fro up my arm and made ht up one hand to grab its were eaten away White flesh hung froht of that Disney ht I stepped back, but the stump of his hand still whacked my shoulder pretty hard

I shuddered as I threw an adrenaline-fueled swat at his head This one connected, and he fell over on his side I could have sworn the island round Water ran out of his mouth and pooled on the sand He couldn't shut hison his jaw Me because I was screaeyuy crawls out of the ocean after being out there for a week and decides to rekindle his ut a couple of tiood measure Each time the stick struck, it caused a jet of water to shoot out of his reat What a zombies?

Day 20

My Girlfriend Wants a Threesoet a gag on the husband I used a shi+rt from one of the suitcases, wound it up, tied it in the middle so it made a ball, then I put that in histo roll over, so I had to actually touch his disgusting flesh and squeeze the thing in there He was snapping at , I sort of s it behind his neck I smiled at my handiwork as he chewed on the cloth He tried to roll over again This tiround

I took so rock and attached it to one of his ankles Hey look, he has on a ball and chain-next to his ball and chain

I helped her up and untied her hands She couldn't balance with theht She brought them forward ever so slowly and tried to latch them onto my neck I pushed her away, and she stuht in ed me doith her I landed on the squishy tub of saltwater-logged lard with her on top of me

Oh my God! I was stuck in a zombie sandwich!