246 She had begun healing (2/2)

That was my situation at that time. I could not believe what was unfolding itself before me, so I forced myself to ask.

Xin Yong's voice disappeared slowly as tears clouded her eyes. Her throat felt so dry that she had to drink from her bottle again.

''Take your time…'' The group coordinator, who was an elderly woman in her fifties comforted her; Xin Yong nodded with a smile. She took in a few breaths before resuming.

''He said he did not want to see me when he returned, then he went into the bedroom. It took me hours to realize that I had fallen for a player, a Lothario; and that I was about to be dumped like the others.

It took me hours to realize that I was not different, that I was not special and that I had fooled myself all along.

When he came out from the room, he didn't even look at me, like I was a piece of trash; he stopped for a while and repeated his instructions before stomping out.

I was not sure if I was going to see him again, so I used that opportunity to ask him the question that had been in my mind since he asked me to sign that document.

We've been together for over two years, and throughout this period, I can count how many times we had issues which always ended with him pleading to be forgiven even when, sometimes I was at fault. He never for once called me by my name, the first time I knew how my name sounded in his lips was when he asked me to leave.

He undoubtedly cared for me, so I wanted to know if he ever loved me. Even if it was for a time, and then his interest faded, I wanted to know if I was really dreaming all these while, so I asked him.

The reply I got hit me so hard that I stopped hearing for a few seconds,

He said, 'I never loved you, not even for a split second, so scrap every memory you have of me'.

She paused, laughing dryly.

''Wasn't that too harsh? I mean, I know you never loved me but wasn't it a bit too harsh to say it that way?''

Xin Yong asked no one in particular. She laughed for a while before going on.

''So that sentence made me let go of the tiny, frail stem of hope I was holding onto; it made me wake up from my illusion and I faced reality. I wondered why he would be so wicked. Why he would take me up to the clouds and let me fall to the ground, I wondered if there was something I did wrong that I could not remember. You know, if he did not lie about loving me, it would not have been this painful.