247 A glitter of hope (1/2)

Although he did all that, this love stricken lady before you all did not blame him, not one bit.

You know what I did? I stayed to wish him a happy birthday before I left.

He once mentioned that he never celebrated his birthday, I planned to celebrate it for him but since we were breaking up, I could just say a happy birthday before I leave, but more importantly take a good last look at him because that morning I did not.

But that night, he did not come back.

The next day, I realized that I had no reason to stay anymore, so I packed all my belongings. The engagement ring hanging on my finger felt so heavy; I metaphorically felt it pleading to be removed_ it wasn't mine, so I left it together with a letter on the dressing table.''

''All these while I'd been killing myself, hurting myself, I even lost a baby… one I never even knew I was carrying. I blamed myself for everything, but not anymore.''

Xin Yong shook her head and with a bright smile she continued.

''Not anymore; I just realized that I was too good, too good for him. I wasn't the one who did not deserve him, no, he did not deserve me. And I cannot kill myself for someone like that, oh my, what was I thinking?! ''

She laughed and everyone joined her. Xin Yong felt a cool breeze wash over her, one she had not felt in a really long while.

''I plan on getting better and putting the past behind me. I've learned a lot from this experience. But most importantly, I've learned not to give your all to anyone, not to love so blindly like I did, and at least not to fall for a Lothario; I mean that's not happening again. ''

Everyone laughed. Xin Yong did, this was the truest laughter she had laughed in a while, and at that moment she realized she had begun healing.

…

''You should stop killing yourself, Jin Yue.''

Liu Wei said to the devastated looking man before him. Jin Yue looked like a shadow of himself. He was thin, pale, sad and drunk. Liu Wei had lost count of how many times his secretary had called to tell him that he was passed out in a bar.

''Where is she? Did she go to space? Why can't I find her? Why? ''

Jin Yue had searched the whole of Beijing and China. When he couldn't find her he thought that she had left the country. He had, with the help of Liu Wei, checked with the international airports for her name to know if she left but they explained that no-one with such name left the country in the past three months.

Jin Yue did not know what to do anymore. He barely ate, he could no longer concentrate at work and his secretary handled most of the important matters.

Jin Yue had resulted to drinking which had helped him a bit in forgetting what was before him, although he would still wake up to it after passing out, but for that brief moment, he had peace.

''That would be good, wouldn't' it? This is over two months, she must have hated me to the core right now, she may not even listen to what I have to say, but if I'm dead in a coffin, she'll surely listen, won't she?''