Part 5 (1/2)
”Didshetellyouwhatkindof callingplanshegotyou?” Charleneasksflatly
”No, why?” I scramble to check Mrs X's notes ”Because nonplan calls cost seventy-five cents a oing, so she'll know exactly who you've beentalkingtoandwhatitcosther?
”Gottagobye?Andthushalt
Mrs X starts ringing constantly with new requests for the dinner party In rapid succession I buy the wrong-coloredgift bagsforthepresents, thewrongribbontotiethebagsclosed,andthewrong shade of lilac tissue paper to stuff the-sized placecards
Usually when she calls she refuses to talk to Grayer, despite his desperate pleadings from the stroller, because ”it would just confusehim”Andthenhe cries Sometimes shecalls just totalk toGrayer Then I pushthestrollerashelistens earnestlytothecellphone,asif hewere getting astockreport
Wednesdayafternoon: Ring ”thei ”canbechartedherein” Ring
”hello?” I whisper,crouchingdoith myheadbeneaththedesk
”Nanny?”
”Yes?”
”It's Mrs X”
”U is, Nanny, the paper hand towels you picked out for the guest bathroohtshadeof toile”
Nanny, I l be co by at three with the car to pick up Grayer for his portrait Please bathe him, brush his teeth, and dress him in the outfit I e lefton the bed, but be carefulnot to let hiet hiet messy Maybeyoushouldstartat1:30
Also, here are so: o? ?Cohted applicable passages ?let discuss!
After theportrait we lbegoingtoTiffany topick out agift forGrayer father
One would think that the custoh chairs to accohting and fresh flowers do little to offset thefactthatit's morecrowdedinherethanJFKonChrist marks on the ith your sneakers Stop it,” I say We've been waiting for Mrs X's naraved that she'll be presenting to Mr at the party It's beenover half anhourandGrayer isreally startingtogetantsy
She grabbed a seat e caested that I ”keep an eye on Grayer,” who, she insisted, should ree chair that is his stroller I tried standing against the wall for a while, but as soon as the blonde with the Fendi handbag plopped herself onthefloortostudyherTownandCountryI slid down
Mrs X has beenperthe aforementionedeye, and hand, on Grayer The very sa his saddle shoes to push off from the cream paisley wallpaperinordertoseehowfarbackhecanrollbeforehittingsoooo”
”Grover, I've asked you three tireen? I spy cheek iles to reach down to where ht stroller wheel His face is getting red and I can see he is nearly ready to explode She took him to pose for portraits after school let out and we've been stuck running errands for the party ever since After being in school all ,frozeninsmiles all afternoon,andthenliterally strappedin,hecan't bebla his lireen Betchacan't findit” I tightenrip on thestroller wheel as he hurls hiets snapped back by the straps, his resolve to free hi near us shuffle away as much as the croill allow I keep a set pinched into the carpet Starting to feel a little like Ja bomb, I assess potential escape routes to a less public venue for his i tantrum Fivefourthreetwo?
”I WANT TO GET OUT!” Hethrustshi+mself forward toemphasize eachword
”XI Mrs X, we'll see you now at desk eight”A girl e (hom, at this moment, I would trade positions inan absoluteheartbeat)anydesks aroundthecorner
”LETGO I wanttoget out!I don't wanttoplay! I don't wantthestroller!”
Mrs X pauses as she rounds the corner to place her right handover the speaker of her cell She turns toHe's eht,” I mouth back as I reach to loosen the stroller straps before he hurts himself She disappears down the dark blue hall as I wheel our E Grayer to the stairhere he will be able to coetstheattentionitdeserves
Nanny, The caterers will be setting up the tables this afternoon, so please keep Grayer out of their way Theheadof theChicagoofficewill beco if you couldthrow soether for Grayer dinner, sinceI won be hoht HelovesCoquillesSt Jacques AndIthinkwehavesoe That shouldbesiettodohisflashcards
Thanks abunch!
Coquillessaywhat?!Whateverhappenedtomacandcheesewith asideof broccoli?
In desperate search of a cookbook I pull open the teak cupboard doors, trying not to le cookbook to be found, not even the token joy of Cooking or Silver Palate
She ohat I estimate, based on a Christmas stint at Willia continually looks as though it's just been unpacked From the La Cornue Le Chateau custoas ovens that start at 15,000, to the full set of Bourgeat copper cookware for 1,912, everything is of the best quality But the only appliance that looks broken in is the Capresso C3000 espresso machine that retails for 2,400And, no, for that price, it does not findyou amanI asked
I open all the cabinets and the drawers, trying to fa eachWiisthofknifeI'
Mysearchfor a recipeleads but a andConnie,theXes'housekeeper,onher kneesscrubbingthedoorknobwith atoothbrush
”Hi,doyouknohereMrs Xkeepshercookbooks?” I ask
”Mrs X don't eat and shedon't cook” She redips the toothbrushi+n a jar of polish ”She got you cookin' fortheparty?”
”No?just dinnerforGrayer?”
”Can't seewhat's sospecialaboutthisparty Shehateshaving people here We had, maybe, three dinners since she been here” She nods her head as she deftly scrubs aroundthekeyhole ”There's abunchof booksinthesecondguestroo frouest suite I ski bookcase: WhyShouldYouHavetheBaby?Stress andtheFertility Myth They'reYourbreastsToo:TheNewWetNurseGuide SoonerorLater WeAllSleepAlone:GettingYour In/antThroughthe Night TakingtheBiteOutofTeething The Zen ofWalking very Journey Begins with a First Step The Idiot's Guide to Potty Training The Benefitsof theSuzukiMethodonYourChild's Left Brain Develop theMost ofYour Four-Year-OUHow to PackageYour Child;ThePreschoolInterview Makeitor Breakit:NavigatingPreschoolAdine in this genre to fill up four bookshelves right up through: City Kids Need Trees; The Benefits of a Boarding School Education The SATs etting the Scene for theRestofYourChild's Life I standinsilencewith,for afull moment,thecoquilles andbeets Huh
”I' to fail out of school and beother people dinner for the restofyourlife!Thisis a redflag here, Nan Now,if ned onto provide child care forthis wo youanyoodti?
”I mean,youshouldspend adaydownhereattheshelterkitchenGetso?
”At least you'd be helping people who really need it Maybe you should just pause for a second, look insideyourself,checkin?MOM!” I tightenrip a boiling pot of beets in ht now, because I atofindhowtopreparecoquillessaywhat,fortheloveofChrist!”
”I'e of thecounter, groping for the paring knifeI've justputdown
”Gottago”
I lungefortheknife,sendingtwentycoquilles flyingontothefloor