Part 4 (2/2)

We left with sad hearts, and soon called again I cannot describe s ere coldly informed that she did not wish to see us

What could it ; and we left with terrible presenti evil It came Yes, too soon were our worst fears realized I called one day resolved to see her before I left the house Conceive, if you can, my surprise and horror, when they told me that my beautiful, idolized sister had resolved to become a nun

That she had already renounced the world, and would hold no further communication with her relatives ”Why did I not know this before? I exclaimed” ”You know it noas the cold reply I did not believe a word of it, and when I told my father what they said, he went to them, and resolutely deive her up, but when they saw that his high spirit was aroused--that he would not be flattered or deceived, they reluctantly yielded to his demand”

CHAPTER XIII

LANDLADY'S STORY CONTINUED

The poor girl was overjoyed to reat was our astonishnation when she inforle line from home after she entered the school, nor did she ever know that we had called to see her until we informed her of the fact Whenever she expressed surprise that she did not hear frootten her, and strove to awaken in her nation, suspicion and ani in this, however, they informed her that her father had called, and expressed a wish that she should become a nun; that he did not think it best for her to return ho interview

Confounded and utterly heart-broken, she would have given herself up to uncontrollable grief had she been allowed to indulge her feelings But even the luxury of tears was forbidden, and she was compelled to assume an appearance of cheerfulness, and to sht forward the letters we had received from time to time which we believed she had written She had never seen the” Of this fact she soon convinced us, but she said she had written letter after letter hoping for an answer, but no answer came She said she knew that the Superior exa ladies, but supposed they were always sent, after being read But it was now plain to be seen that those letters were destroyed, and others substituted in their place

[Footnote: Raffaele Ciocci, formerly a Benedictine Monk, in his ”Narrative,” published by the An Christian Union, relates a sie of San Bernardo

Being urged to sign ”a deed of huive it to the college, he says, ”I knew not what to think of this ”deed of hu to receive from the notary an explanation that would assistits intention, I anxiously said, ”I must request, sir, that you will inform me what is expected from me

Tell me what is this deed--whether it be really a mere form, as has been represented to me, or if”--Here the ,--”Do not be obstinate and rebellions, but obey I have already told you that when you assume the habit of the Order, the chapter 'de humititate' shall be explained to you In this paper you have only to make a renunciation of all you possess on earth”

”Of all I possess! And if I renounce all, hen I leave the college, will provide for me?” The notary now interposed ”That,” said he, ”is the point to which I wish to call your attention, in advising you to lect to do so, you , as you irrevocably will, every right of your own”

At these words, so palpable, so glaring, the bandage fell fro under my feet ”This is a deception, a horrible deception,” I exclaimed ”I now understand the 'deed of hutwo or three hours in bitterness and woe, I resolved to have recourse toletter to my mother, in which I exposed all the ard to the ”deed of huave the letter into the hands of a servant, and on the following entle, terms, to be tranquil,--not to resist the wishes of ht be required, for, when e, the validity of these forms would cease This letter set all my doubts at rest, and restored peace to my mind It ritten by my mother, and she, I felt assured, would never deceive ine that this epistle was an invention ofand affectionate style of ht have suspected itI reply, that in the uprightness of my heart, I could not conceive such atrocious wickedness; it appeared utterly irreconcilable with the sanctity of the place, and with the venerable hoariness of persons dedicated to God

After perusing the letter, I hastened to the n the ”deed of hu hoell his plan had succeeded The notary and witnesses were again suood notary, however, pitying my situation, inserted an exceptional clause to the total relinquishhtsNo sooner was this business concluded, than the master commanded ned the deed of renunciation, and illing, for the benefit of my soul, to assume the monkish habit He was present when I wrote this letter; I was, therefore, obliged to adopt the phrases suggested by hi zeal and devotion; full of indifference to the world, and tranquil satisfaction at the choice I had ht I, will be astonished when they read this epistle, but they e is not mine, so little is it in accordance with

Reader, in the course of thirteen months, only one, of from fifty to sixty letters which I addressed to my mother, was ever received by her, and that one was this very letter The ed letters i a style suited to their purpose; and instead of consigning to enuine replies, they artfully substituted answers of their own fabrication My family, therefore, were not surprised at the tenor of this epistle, but rejoiced over it, and reputed me already a Saint They probably pictured me to themselves, on some future day, with athe triple crown

Oh, what a delusion! Poor deceived parents! You knew not that your son, in anguish and despair, was clashi+ng his chains, and devouring his tears in secret; that a triple bandage was placed before his eyes, and that he was being dragged, an unwilling victi home soon after, Ciocci rushed to his mother, and asked if she had his letters They, were produced; when he found that only one had been written by hieries of the masters]

”It follows then,” said eries, and the excuses they have so often ion of Jesus Christ guilty of lying and forgery! 'O, my soul come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly mine honor be thou not united'”

”But we have our darling hoain,” said I, ”and noe shall keep her with us” Never shall I forget the sweet, sad smile that came over her pale face as I uttered these words Perchance, even then she realized that she was soon to leave us, never radually declined Slowly, but surely she went down to the grave Every remedy was tried--every measure resorted to, that seemed to promise relief, but all in vain We had the best physicians, but they frankly confessed that they did not understand her disease In a very few months after her return, we laid our lovely and beloved sister beneath the clods of the valley Our good old physician wept as he gazed upon her cold reht she was poisoned, but as he could not prove it, he would only have injured hiht that she knew toothee that I hate the Ro when I think of priests and convents?”

Truly, I did not wonder that she hated theh I could not understand what benefit it could be to swear about it; but I did not doubt the truth of her story How often, in the convent from which I fled, had I heard them exult over the success of sonorant, the innocent and the unwary! If a girl was rich or handsome, as sure as she entered their school, so sure was she to become a nun, unless she had influential friends to look after her and resolutely prevent it To effect this, no rossest hypocricy, and the irl fro communication with any one out of the convent No ht feel, she was not allowed to see her friends, or even to be informed of their kind attentions So far from this, she was made to believe, if possible, that her relatives had quite forsaken her, while these very relatives were boldly informed that she did not wish to see them If they wrote to their friends, as they sometimes did, their letters were always destroyed, while those received at home were invariably written by the priest or Superior

These remarks, however, refer only to those who are rich, or beautiful in person Many a girl can say with truth that she has attended the convent school, and no effort was ever made--no inducement ever presented to persuade her to become a nun Consequently, she says that stories like the above are mere falsehoods, reported to injure the school This may be true so far as she is concerned, but you may be sure she has neither riches nor beauty, or if possessed of these, there was soeneral rule Could she know the private history of some of her school-mates, she would tell a different story

I remember that while in the convent, I was one day sent up stairs to assist a Superior in a chamber remote from the kitchen, and in a part of the house where I had never been before Returning alone to the kitchen, I passed a door that was partly open, and hearing a slight groan within, I pushed open the door and looked in, before I thought what I was doing

A young girl lay upon a bed, who lookedperson She saw me, and motioned to have me come to her

As I drew near the bed, she burst into tears, and whispered, ”Can't you get me a drink of cold water?” I told her I did not know, but I would try I hastened to the kitchen, and as no one was present but a nun whom I did not fear, I procured a pitcher of water, and went back with it withoutany one on the way I ell aware that if seen, I should be punished, but I did not care I was doing as I would wish others to do to rateful that poor sufferer was for a draught of cold water She could not tell how , for some of the time she had been insensible; but itshe was to remain in that condition

”How came you here?” I asked, in a whisper; ”and what have you done to induce them to punish you so?” ”O,” said she, with a burst of tears, and grasping ers, ”I was in the school, and I thought it would be so nice to be a nun! Then my father died and left ive it all to the church I was so sad then I did not care for ht that the nuns were pure and holy--that their lives were devoted to heaven, their efforts consecrated to the cause of truth and righteousness I thought that this was indeed the 'house of God,' the very 'gate of heaven' But as soon as they were sure of me, they let me know--but you understand me; you knohat I mean?” I nodded assent, and once more asked, ”What did you do?” ”O, I was in the school,” said she, ”and I knew that a friend ofhere just as I did; and I could not bear to see her, in all her loveliness and unsuspecting innocence, become a victim to these vile priests I found an opportunity to let her knohat a hell she was co to 'Twas an unpardonable sin, you see I had robbed the church--coe, they said--and they have almost killed me for it I wish they would QUITE, for I am sure death has no terrors for o; don't stay any longer; they'll kill you if they catch you here” I knew that she had spoken truly--they WOULD kill me, almost, if not quite, if they found me there; but I must know a little more ”Did you save your friend?” I asked, ”or did you both have to suffer, to pay for your generous act?” ”Did I save her? Yes, thank God, I did She did not come, and she proed to find it out, I don't kno; and now--O God, let o, and I left her, with a promise to carry her soain Yet what a history her feords unfolded! It was soit to her She seemed much interested in all ht