Part 27 (2/2)
It was excluded the fellowshi+p of such as heap up gold and silver; not because it did, but for fear it ht, ask a small portion of their beloved wealth It shrunk with pain and pity froe it possessed could not enlighten, and guilt that its sensations were obliged to abhor There was but one class of men hom it was pers andwhom it was its hard fate frequently to suffer imposition, fros of supposed benevolence, capable of perceiving, loving, and pro lide before it But the visions were deceitful
Ere they were distinctly seen, the phantos do exist, it has experienced the peculiar hardshi+p of never having met with any, in whom both the purpose and the poere fully united Therefore, with hands wearied with labour, eyes dim atchfulness, veins but half nourished, and a th subdued by intense study and a reiteration of unaccomplished hopes, it was driven by irresistible impulse to end at once such a coe was imposed upon it that, amid all these calamities, it had one consolation--Its miseries were not eternal--That itself had the power to end them This power it has e any longer the wretchedness of its own situation, and the blindness and injustice of lected, so it now commits itself to the waves; in expectation, after it is dead, of being led, belied, and insulted'
Oh God! erestory! It contained voluth of the mind that could thus picture its own sensations It must be my beloved Wilmot: it could be no one else; or even if it were, the man who thus could feel and thus could write was no less the object of aduilt of which every ainst the whole world, in the infamy of which each man had his share!
Transfixed with horror as I was, I still had the recollection to conceal the paper froo in quest of the body The utence were necessary; she must soon hear of the fatal event, and it was much to be dreaded that this would not be the last act of the tragedy
According to the indication given in the paper, I went immediately to the watch-house; but was surprised to find that the body was not there They had heard so hiive no farther information
I then ran to every bone-house and receptacle in the various adjoining parishes; but without success The only intelligence I could obtain was that the gentleman, who leaped in after the man in order to have saved his life, had taken the body home with him; but no one could direct ! My terrors for Miss Wilmot increased I knew not what course to pursue At last I recollected that Turl, fro acquainted with the ht perhaps afford e of Wilrammar school atjust before Wilmot became its head usher But I knew not what better to do, and to this, as a kind of last hope, I resorted, and hastened away to his lodgings
It loomy For a man like Wilmot, with virtues so eminent, sensations so acute, and a e in death was a thought that alht not hereafter be driven to the same desperate expedient, to escape the odious injustice of mankind The distraction too which would seize on Miss Wilence, whenever it should reach her, would prove fatal
Full of these dismal reflections, I arrived at the door of Turl, knocked, and was desired to coer, who had been seated by his side A stranger, and yet with features that were not wholly unknown to ht of me, examinedideas poured upon azed! I remembered! Heavens and earth! What was my astonisher I discovered Mr Wilre, dejected, and entleman in the park, who had observed the deep melancholy visible in his countenance; had fortunately suspected his intention; had brought him out of the water; had discovered favourable sy hie's hospital; where he immediately obtained medical aid, that had preserved his life! Turl was the person whose courage, huenius; and as now exerting all his faculties to render that existence happy to the possessor, and beneficial to the human race! Oh moment of inconceivable rapture! Why are not sensations so exquisite eternal?
CHAPTER IX
_I secure Miss Wiler of false alarer as I was to contribute all in my power to tranquilize the mind of Mr Wilmot, to renew my friendshi+p with him, and to learn his history from himself, I yet made but a short stay, and hastened hoic tale had not reached her; and, without relating circuht have excited alarm, I informed her that I had that moment parted from him, and that now I had found him I should use my utmost endeavour to reconcile hiave an undescribable relief to her hts that soonby this inforht otherwise have followed, I escaped further question fro her I was impatient to return to her brother
I found the two friends still conversing for friends and sincere ones they were becoiven by Wilmot of himself had been taken and sent to the newspaper, without the knowledge of Turl; but he had read it, and it was a sufficient index of the h the whole affair, as well as the sentih to convince Mr
Wilmot of his unco the right of man to commit suicide; which Turl denied; not on the false and untenable ground of superstition, but frouh decisive in his opposition; and only requested Mr Wilood of the whole be not the true purpose of virtue? Ought not the good of the whole therefore to be its only rule and guide? If so, can the ree of activity without which he cannot co farther useful to society?
Depressed and glooreat satisfaction at our rencontre; and the interest which I unfeignedly took in his welfare soon revived all his former affection for enius, and pity for his itated spirits Unfortunate as he hiht hiave hi abated inillusion; Turl affirmed it was a beneficial and noble propensity of soul
We none of us had a wish to separate, for the i with that sedate yet full flow of sentiment which, as Milton has so beautifully described, uilty with the bishop; and when I told her story, with the addition of such probable circumstances as I myself had collected, it afforded him very considerable relief to find that the suspicions to which appearances gave birth had been false
I did not conceal the desire I had to knohat train of accidents he had been led into a state of such deep despondency; and he thus kindly gratified iven by my sister, which you, Mr Trevor, have already repeated, precludes the necessity of any detail concerning in in my opinion of the least rowth of mind, and she the man became such as we find him to be At what period of etic aspirings began, which to me were afterward the source of the extremes of joy and sorrow, I cannot tell; but I believe the quality of ardour, though probably not born with us, is either awakened in early infancy or seldoth and maturity I could not only read with unco, but can remember I made efforts to reason with my father, the major, on what I read, when I was little h a s than profound research, was not destitute of literature; and encouraged a propensity into hi talents; which talents he supposed ht lead to distinctions that he had been unsuccessfully ambitious to obtain
'He considered hi personal bravery to be the essence of the erly cherished that quality; and, having given incontestible proofs that he possessed it in an erant an instance of public as well as private ingratitude to be ever pardoned It was the daily subject of his thoughts, and thereat reason to conjecture that the habitual discontent that preyed upon his mind, and embittered his life, especially the latter part of it, communicated itself to me I was educated in the belief that the world is blind to ence and neglect, and is therefore an odious, unjust, and despicable world
'I own I have at some few intervals doubted of this doctrine; and supposed in conformity to your opinion, Mr Turl, that failure is rather the consequence of our own mistakes, impatience, and efforts ill directed, than of society: but the ill success of my own efforts, aided perhaps by the prejudices which I received from my father, have preponderated; and made me it may be too frequently incline to melancholy, and misanthropy What can be said? Are not the rich and powerful continually oppressing talents, genius, and virtue? Is the general sense of mankind just in its decisions?
'Beside, an appeal to the general sense of s of individuals are often flagrantly unjust cannot be denied In the school where I was educated I was a frequent and painful witness of honours partially bestowed; and prizes and applause awarded to others, that were indubitably due to me When the rich and the powerful visited the seained all their attention Conscious as I could not but be of my own superior claims, I was overlooked!
'Perhaps I felt the repetition of these and similar acts of injustice too severely Yet, are they not odious? I own the remembrance of them ever has been, and is, intensely painful; and the pain is aled by what everyin the world [Mr Wilet it!
'After le in my boyish years to rise into notice, few, very few indeed, of which were effectual, I still continued the combat In due time, as I was told, my efforts were a forwarded in those more noble and beneficial pursuits for which I think I had proved h knoere never once rereat difficulty and as an unmerited favour a charitable condescension of power that knew not very well if it ought to be so kind to a being so unprotected, yes, I obtained--the office of usher!
The honour of ations, and rules of syntax and prosody, repeated by beings who detested the labour to which they were cos who looked on me, not as a benefactor, but as a tyrant! And tyrants all teachers indubitably are, under our present modes of education