5 Chapter 5: Kysael- Feelings, part 2 (2/2)

\tShe was making my wedding gown for me.

\t”Oh, hello there, Ms. Kysael. I have your order ready for you, just as requested,” she said sweetly, and rushed to bring it to me, covered in a thick, heavy blue cloth. ”You take that on to Dragon's mother's, she should be there waiting to get you already. And don't worry about a thing, dear! Everything will turn out alright!”

\tI smiled, and went on my way quickly to my almost-mother's cabin. I tried to ignore the quip. After all, Asiel hadn't meant any harm. Most people were completely unaware of the fact that I was not a pure bride. It was perfectly natural for a virgin bride to be frightened at the prospect of mating for the first time. I remembered very well my first time. But that wasn't what I was concerned about.

\tAsiel had, after all, been correct about one thing, though. Dragon's mother was there, ready to get me ready for the ceremony, and my grandmother was with her.

\t”Oh, you look beautiful already!” She said. ”You smell amazing, as well.”

\t”Thank you. It was Kassiel's perfume.”

\tShe nearly spit out the water she had just took a sip of, and gulped it down, looking at me confused. ”You...you know about her?”

\tI nodded. ”Yes. She was my mother's cousin by law, and one of her closest friends...that, and I've heard about her from Dragon. He was engaged to her.”

\t”Oh, that's right...silly me, how could I have forgotten? I am just so happy! My little girl is going to become a lady!” She laughed. ”You make my son happier than he has been in a long, long time, Kysael. He always lights up when we're talking about you. You give him so much motivation,” she said.

\tMy heart thundered. ”R-really?” I asked, my cheeks red. She nodded.

\t”Yes, he is quite happy with you. He chose you, and even though he's a little...slow, and hesitant, he truly means well and cares deeply for you. He has always had a soft spot when it comes to you.”

\tShe got me tied up in my wedding dress, and then they both looked on disapprovingly.

\t”What?” I asked.

\t”Dear, why is there black trim around your waist and along the bottom and train and sleeves of the gown? There is just so much black, why?” My grandmother asked.

\tI laughed. ”I... I am not some elven maiden, ma'am. I do not feel that I am pure. I am half of the Dark Realm. I feel my gown should reflect it.

\tShe went to say something, but thought better of it and simply smiled, before Dragon's mother went to rub the concealant over my face.

\tI held up my hand to stop her. ”Dragon prefers my natural face. I am leaving them uncovered.”

\t”Oh, yes of course,” she said softly, putting it away.

\tShe began braiding my hair and pinning it up into an elaborate braided bun.

\tShe then lined my eyes with charcoal, and she rubbed a bright, blood red rouge-stain on my lips.

\tShe turned me finally to see myself in the mirror, and I nearly choked.

\tI didn't even recognize myself. I looked like some Woodelf of the high courts in the royal ring, with my high collared gown and the corset.

\tMy hair wasn't the hap-hazard braid of a huntress doing her job, but a truly elaborate braided bun that any noblewoman would be jealous over, not even a single hair out of place.

\tMy lips looked as if I had just tasted blood and left the remnants on my lips.

\tMy eyes were bright, of course, with the always, ever present silver glint of hunger making them a slightly more metallic shade of blue.

\t”Now, something new, something old, something borrowed, and something blue,” she said as she rushed around. ”Your markings are blue, so we'll just leave it at that. Here,” she handed me a hair pin with onyx stone embedded in it intricately. ”This was Kassiel's favorite hair comb. Dragon had kept it all of these years, just in case he had gotten married. It was the only one of these ever made, and so its unique and special. This is something old,” she said with a smile. ”Something new....aha!” She handed me a small wooden box with a letter sitting atop of it. I unfolded the letter that was addressed to me, and I startled. The person writing it was signed as Darah....It was from my mother.

\tDear Kysael,

\tI have learned that I do not have much time left in this world, for which I would like to humbly and sincerely apologize to you for. Dragon has promised to give this to you when you come of age and are to marry, as he has promised me that he will raise you and marry you when that time comes.

\tI am sorry that I am not going to be with you in body on that day, but know that my heart and spirit will always be with you, my daughter.

\tI did not regret giving myself to your father, and I did not regret having you. The only regret that I have is returning to Havengrove, and allowing myself to be taken from you before I even have a chance to watch you grow up. I have instructed for this pendant, which your father gave to me, to be given to you on your wedding day, as my gift to you, so that you can have both your mother and father with you on your special day.

\tAnd don't worry, dear. Dragon is a wonderful man, and he will always take care of you and love you. I am so thankful that you have him to watch over you.

\tShould you be marrying someone else, I pray that they are a man of his level of dedication and kindness, and that they love you even more so than he does. I will always be with you, my child. Give your brother and your husband my love for me. I hope that your life has not been unfavorable. And when--or if you--have children, please give them all of my love and affection and make sure that they know how much I had wanted to meet them one day. Your brother's children, as well, please.

\tAll my love,

\tYour mother.

\t”Oh, mother!” I cried, clenching the letter to my chest, before I pulled the pendant out of its box.

\tIt was made of onyx, on a black chain. It had the same marking as my face intricately engraved into it, and it was smooth and shiny.

\tIt was embedded into a beautiful sapphire casing. ”Its beautiful!” I smiled through my tears. ”Thank you. Now, there is just one more thing. I had my own 'something borrowed'.” I pulled out Kelose's assassin knife that he had left at my home once, many years ago. Dragon's mother immediately knew what it was, and gave me an apprehensive look.

\t”What? He lent it to me. It is something borrowed from someone who is very important to me.”

\tShe sighed, but didn't say anything.

\tFinally, I was ready, and it was time.

\tShe led me to the chapel in the middle ring, and had me to stand outside. She placed a kiss on my cheek, and then she went in.

\tMy heart pounded as I heard the music begin, and I began to think that I couldn't do this. Sure, I had feelings for him, but they were new feelings, feelings that I was only just beginning to understand.

\tAnd he didn't even return those feelings. How could I possibly do this?

\tThen I heard my que. And the doors opened, revealing a room brightly lit by stained glass windows and chandeliers filled with hundreds of nicely-scented candles. My body froze at the doorway as I took everything in.

\tMy eyes focused on the alter, and I saw Dragon there, his father beside of him. I looked at Drakul first, his shaggy red hair pulled back, his smile a big one and he elbowed Dragon and winked at him.

\tMy face heated. I looked to the rows of seats to find many members of my clan, several members of Dragon's clan, and several others from other clans that both of our families were friends with.

\tI felt hot as they all turned to look at me, many surprised and disapproving murmurs among the crowd at my gown and my markings. But I didn't care. This wasn't about them. It was about me, and it was about Dragon.

\tI looked, finally, at Dragon. He was observing me, watching me take everything in. He smiled, one that he always gave me when I was taking everything in like this. As if he thought it was cute.

\tThen, his eyes swept over me, taking me in. And his eyes got a little wider, his smile fading to let his lips part a bit, surprised.

\tAnd then he smiled again, this time a proud one.

\tHe didn't seem to show any negative emotion. No trepidation, no hesitation, no disappointment. His entire face beamed pride.

\tSomeone cleared their throat, and I startled before slowly, I took hesitant steps down the aisle. I could feel my body shaking with my roaring heartbeat. I repeatedly thought that I would trip over my own feet. Each step brought me closer to my fate.

\tAnd finally, all the steps had been taken, and I was standing in front of him, my body hot and shaking.

\tHe continued to observe me, and took my hand in his to pull me up beside of him on the alter, in front of the king.

\tBefore he turned us to face the king, he looked at me. My heart slowed just a little, and I felt myself calm down.

\t”Don't be afraid, Kysael. There is nothing to fear. You look radiant and smell divine.”

\tFor the very first time since I had arrived, I actually looked at what he was wearing. He wore a high collared white tunic with black leaves embroidered on the collar and ends of the sleeves, and the bottom. He wore white pants, with white boots.

\t”You also look very handsome,” my voice cracked, and he gave one quiet laugh, squeezing my hand before he let go.

\tWe turned to face the king, but I noticed that Dragon continued to glance at me. I, on the other hand, could not bring myself to look at him again.

\tI didn't know if I could.

\tMy heart was racing too fast.

\t”We are gathered here today to witness the arranged joining of these two bodies, hearts, and clans. For the sake of how nervous the bride is,” he chuckled, and my face heated. ”We will make this as quick and painless as possible. Now, Dragon of the Huntsmen clan, say the words.”

\t”I am hers, and she is mine. I will protect her and provide for her. I will honor her house, and with her, produce an heir for my house. I will honor her body. I will honor our marriage.” Dragon said. His voice was strong, his stance steady.

\tThe king turned to me. ”Kysael of the Cedar clan, say the words,” he said.

\t”I am his, and he is mine. I will live for his will and be faithful to him. I will honor his house, and produce for him an heir to his house. I will honor his body. I will honor our marriage.” I repeated softly, my voice struggling to stay steady.

\t”Take each other's hands,” the king instructed. We did so, and he took a red ribbon and tied it around our wrists. ”Your fates are forever intertwined with each other, for all of time. May the Creator bless this bond. And now, you may solidify this marriage and complete the ceremony by kissing the bride.”

\tDragon faced me, and for the first time since I'd arrived, I could see hesitation, feel it in his body.

\tHe took a deep breath, and closed his eyes. ”We've already come this far,” he whispered. Then, with renewed determination, he opened his eyes and slowly began to lean in to me.

\tHis lips pressed against mine, and the kiss and marriage were sealed.

\t”I present to you, Lord and Lady of the Huntsmen clan.”

\tEveryone cheered, and Dragon pulled me by the hand to lead me across the building and to the stairway that led to a meeting hall beneath, where the smell of many delicious foods wafted around the room.

\tI went to the toilet room, where a white blouse and white, floor-length skirt awaited me, along with white boots. I got changed out of the fancy gown, and I was much more comfortable in the new clothing that wasn't so formal. I came back out, to find Dragon waiting for me.

\tHe smiled at me softly, and as everyone followed us down the stairs, he led me to the head of a large table, and had me to sit down.

\t”Is there anything that you would like?” He asked.

\tI smiled. ”I wouldn't mind some sweets and water,” I said. He nodded, and went off to get what I had asked for. When he returned, he carried a plate full of fantastic looking desserts and a glass of water as I'd asked, before going off to get himself something.

\tAs I sat and munched on my desserts, I watched Dragon.

\tMany of his clansmen threw wary, nervous glances my way, but Dragon smiled in my direction and his body language conveyed warmth. He chatted with some of his kinsmen, and I could hear bits and pieces of him assuring them that he was happy to be married to me, completely unworried for his safety in my presence.

\tHe wasn't nervous to be around me, or to have me as his wife.

\tHe was content.

\tHe was safe with me.

\tAnd I could see that he wasn't as unhappy as he had been when he'd first heard about the arrangement. He looked peaceful. It hurt a bit, to hear that his family wasn't approving of our union...that they were concerned for his very safety. It bothered me that even after all of this time, they thought that I might hurt him. As if i would ever do such a thing.

\t”So, lass, are you ready for your wedding night? Its almost time for the bedding!” Drakul said to me in a funny voice, a large mug of ale in his hand. He had already been drinking to celebrate, it seemed.

\tI smiled. ”Oh, Drakul, I don't know if anything like that is going to happen anytime soon. I doubt that Dragon would want to be with me that way right away.”

\t”Nonsense! The marriage has to be consummated by tonight, that's the law! Arranged marriages are taken to the bedding ceremony and made sure that the marriage is consummated!”

\tI sputtered, covering my mouth as water shot through my hand and I coughed, trying to regain my bearings as Drakul guffawed in laughter at my blushing face.

\t”Father, do try to contain yourself. You have Kysael choking on her drink.” Dragon said as he came up to us, sitting down with his plate of food.

\t”Right, right, then! I get the hint!” Drakul said, before going off to converse with others.

\t”...Is...is that true?” I asked Dragon. I knew that he'd heard his father. I was horrified by the idea of being forced to sleep with him out of lawful obligation. I knew that if it were, that it wasn't something that was desired.

\tDragon looked away for a moment, nodding. ”It is.”

\tI was slightly...only a little terrified. I hadn't known that, and I was suddenly very thankful that I had not given my purity to Kelose. I suddenly understood why he had insisted on me not doing so at the time. It was for my own safety. If the consummation was watched and ensured to be sealed and completed… that would mean that if I didn't bleed my first time, I was not a virgin. And that would be all the proof they would need to kill me, as they had done Kassiel. I was grateful to Kelose, in that moment, for protecting me.

”Oh,” I said softly.

He eyed me, concerned for a moment, before more people came over to congratulate us, giving me wary glances as they focused most of their attention on Dragon. After they had went back to their own doings, I sighed. When I stopped eating, he gave me a solemn look.

\t”What is it, Kysael?”

\tI startled. I sighed, looking down at my plate. I decided that I would be honest with him. ”Oh...! Well, I....I mean, I....I wanted… I… well, to be truthful with you… But....I didn't thi... I didn't even think we would be doing anything tonight or anytime soon, really, because you aren't in love with me, but...” Why could I not get the words out of my mouth right? I felt as if I were on fire. My cheeks burned, and I knew that I was blushing.

\t”You were hoping that we would be intimate.” It wasn't a question. He knew that it was the truth, and I nodded. He smiled at me, rolling his eyes and shaking his head, a small smirk on his face. ”I understand. It is natural, after all.” He smiled softly at me. He seemed to really struggle with what he was about to say.

\tMore people came to congratulate us, and when they were gone, he saw my shoulders droop when we heard them whisper that they couldn't see why he ever agreed to this.

\tI looked down at myself, ashamed that I had hoped for anything more than he had already given me. He had done more than I ever deserved.

\tHe sighed, and his hand slid over to grab my own. ”Don't let what they say bother you. You know that I don't do anything that I don't want to do. I chose this. I chose you. And… don't be afraid, Kysael. As soon as we have consummated, they will leave us to our privacy. With arranged marriages, they have to be legitimized or they run the risk of annulments. And Kysael...there is nothing to be ashamed of, you wanting to be intimate. They teach young ladies as soon as they are old enough to know of such things that the wedding night is a huge ordeal and very important to our society and furthering our bloodlines. You didn't hear a whole lot of that, but how could I expect you not to want to be loved by your husband? I would be more concerned if you didn't want to be intimate, in truth. That's perfectly normal for a bride. You have no need to be frightened. I will take care of you, and I will protect you.”

\tI sighed, and I leaned to rest my head against his shoulder. ”What could I have possibly done to be gifted with you?”

\tHe chuckled. ”You were born,” he whispered softly.

\tWe stayed like that for a few minutes, and we sat and ate our meal and listened to a couple of cheerful toasts and speeches before the reception was over. I was numb as we were ushered away, ushered off to Dragon's cabin.

\tMy heart pounded in my chest as the men whooped and cheered, ready for us to make our marriage consummated, legitimized.

\tI had a few things at his house, but most of my things were still sitting at my small little hut, and I hadn't brought them over yet. But that could wait.

\tIt was getting to be late afternoon, now.

\tI began to feel nauseous. My heart was racing so hard that I wondered somewhere in my brain how it hadn't exploded yet. Dragon looked at the sky as we stood outside of his home. The very place where I had grown up for part of my childhood, and here I was, fixing to move back in not as the child that he was raising.... but as his bride.

\tIt was strangely ironic.

\t”Well...we are here,” he said softly, his attention focused on the sky, taking note of the storm that was brewing. I reached to squeeze his hand, and he glanced at me.

\t”Go on now,” The king said, pushing us in the door. ”We have to get this thing legitimized!”

\t”Whoo, whoo, whoo!” The crowd continued to cheer.\t

\tThe crowd stayed outside as the King followed us into the house, following us to Dragon's bedroom.

\t”Proceed with the consummation,” the king commanded, his tone firm.

\tDragon looked at me, both of us obviously uncomfortable. The king pushed me into Dragon's arms, and I could see Dragon fighting a scowl trying to appear on his handsome face.

”Don't be afraid,” he whispered. And then, he numbly took my face in his hands and brought his lips down to mine.

\tIt was awkward at first, strange because of the mechanized way that he went about it, but I slowly reached my arms up and around his neck, and he lay his hands on my hips, resting them there, gripping them occasionally. We continued on like that, slowly taking the stiffness out of our bodies and just letting ourselves fall into sync with one another.

\tWe kissed for what felt like a while until we were both heated and having to get a grip on ourselves. When he pulled away, his eyes were waiting for me to give him my unspoken permission. I nodded, and he continued on, undoing the ties on my outfit and allowing my clothes to fall away from my body. I was thankful that he stood between the king and I, trying to shield my nudity from his view as best as he could. I appreciated the effort.

\tHe continued to touch me, trying to get me ready for him despite my discomfort, and he lay me on the bed, continuing on, his face tickling my body as he descended downward.

\tBeing such a tomboy all my life, I knew that I had a thicker, more aggressive tone than most women.

\tNot that I could take back my upbringing and everything that I had been through.

\tBut I tried to make myself feel attractive, as if I could truly seduce him. I was sure that I failed miserably. I knew that I wasn't a normal woman, that he probably didn't even see me as a woman. This was just what had to be done, nothing more. He was doing this because he had to, and he was doing this for me, as well. He knew that I wanted him that way.

\tMy heart pounded, and I felt my body go hyper sensitive and my mind go hyper aware as I watched him mentally prepare himself. He looked up my body at me, meeting my gaze.

\t His eyes wide, glassy, I saw him swallow thickly down in his throat. He was nervous. Sweat beaded on his temple.

\tHe let out a shaky breath.

\t”Alright.” His face flushed a deeper shade of red. I didn't recall, in that instance, if I had ever even seen him blush before. If I had, I couldn't think properly right now.

\tI did know however, that this wasn't something that I had ever seen in his gaze before. His cheeks were pink, and his body was tense with nervous anticipation.

\tI smiled down at him, and I grabbed his hand, leading it to my body. His face descended on me again.

\tHe gripped my hips tightly in his hands when I jerked, thrashing against this new, unexpected feeling. It felt much different than when I touched myself with my own hands. I had never felt anything like this.

\tI gasped, letting my body experience sensations that it hadn't ever felt. I knew that I had never given my purity away, but being such a disgusting hybrid creature, I honestly wondered if I was a virgin in the first place. If it were even possible for me to be.

\tI didn't know how, but Dragon seemed to sense my line of thought, as he spread me below and after a look, gave a subtle nod against my thigh. He seemed to reassure me that I was safe. And that was all I needed.

\tDragon came back up my body to rest with his face above mine, moving himself to rest his lower body within my legs, and I gulped.

\tHe kissed me, and I felt a sudden searing tear inside of me as he sealed our union. I whimpered into his mouth.

\tThe king stood, making his way over to the bed. Dragon maneuvered our bodies to where the king could pull the sheet out from under us, observing it and the fresh blood stain before he left the room with it, shutting the door behind him.

\tWe heard cheering as the king showed that we had legitimized our union, and soon, the noise outside dimmed and it was just us in the room, panting into one another's mouths.

\t”You did well, Kysael.” He met my eyes. ”You are beautiful,” he told me softly. ”You are strong, and you are brilliant.” Then, his eyes were serious and his tone soft, genuine, but firm. ”You are mine,” he said.

\t”You are mine,” I echoed. And I groaned in pleasure as he continued moving inside of my body, whimpering at how tightly he fit. I grasped onto him, my nails digging into his back as if he were the only thing holding me onto the earth, as if he were my gravity.

\t”Kysael,” he moaned, his tone making me shudder. I'd never heard his voice sound like this. It was the most amazing thing that I had ever heard. It was all that I ever wanted to hear, in that moment. Husky, deep and almost raspy. He continued whispering my name in that tone, one of his hands holding his weight above me, the other gripping my hip in a desperate attempt to get closer to me.

\t”Dragon,” I cried, getting closer to the edge. ”I- ”And then I fell, and Dragon, always my Dragon, was there to catch me.

And I was there to catch him. I felt warmth, so much warmth and I suddenly felt very full and hot on the inside. Dragon's shudder and gasp only made me feel all the hotter.

\tAnd then the ground shook, and the sirens and horns in the city began to sound the alarming warnings of danger.

\tWe both startled, and with a very unattractive raspy squawk, I rushed to put on a tunic and pants as we got our weapons and rushed out to see what was happening.

\tWe ran outside in alarm, and found the king in the middle of the streets, trying to find out what was happening. We rushed up to him, looking for the guards and also trying to figure out what was going on.

\t”Your majesty!” Cried a guard rushing up to us. ”We are under attack, sire! We are under attack!”

\tThe king slapped him. ”Pull yourself together, soldier. Who is attacking us?!”

\t”The Darkelves!” He cried.

\tThe king looked at him, dumb shock on his face. ”Go, get all of the women and children evacuated out of this city immediately! Have every able-bodied fighter report to the middle ring gate. Go, now!” The guard ran off to do his bidding, and he faced us. ”Dragon, Kysael, report to your posts!” He shouted as he ran off, and we began heading toward our places.

\tAmidst the chaos, Dragon took me into the edge of the forest.

\t”Kysael, I'm sorry!” He said, anger on his handsome face. ”I truly am, we were just-”

\t”Worry about that later, Dragon. We have to get to our posts.”

\t”No! No, Kysael. You have to get out of here.”

\t”What? No, I will not run away from this-”

\t”These are not Orks or Barbarians, or even Wraiths, Kysael!” He shouted. ”These are Darkelves! You will be slaughtered if you stay here! This is your chance to escape. You can get out of here, amidst the chaos, and you can go and find freedom in the wild. I can find you! We can live away from this city; you could be free. You don't have to die here.”

\tI felt as if I had been slapped. ”I am stronger than you think I am, Dragon! I won't freeze up again! I will let the Wraith in me take over for this battle, and you will see how hard it will be to kill me! I am not going to run, there are people here that don't deserve to die! I won't abandon my home!”

\t”I am asking you, Kysael. Please, escape the city, or at least evacuate with the women and children. If you want to fight, go and protect them. You have nothing to prove to anyone by going to that battlefield. Go with them. Or run away. Please.”

\t”And I am telling you, that isn't going to happen.”

\t”Please!” He shouted. Then, in a softer tone. ”Please. If you claim that you love me, please just do as I ask. I cannot lose you. I cannot watch you get killed. A bride shouldn't be on the battlefield. I... I don't want to see you get hurt.”

\tMy heart stung, but I nodded. ”Alright. Alright, Dragon. But one thing first-” And I pulled him down, surprised, into an intense, searing kiss. Then, I pulled away, engraving the sight of his heated eyes into my mind, forever. ”I love you.”

\tAnd then, instead of running towards the direction in which the women and children were evacuating, I loosened my body, letting my eyes burn with my Wraith self as I allowed that part of me to take over, pulling me with intense, breath taking speed as I ran toward the battlefield.

\t”No!” I could hear him cry after me, but my Wraith speed was too fast for him to catch up to me.

\tI rushed to my tree in the outer ring as quickly as I could, and got dressed in a white tunic and white pants and boots that I'd laid out, in case we would be travelling for the wedding night. But the wedding was over, now, and I was now married. And I had a strange feeling that I would not be getting a honey moon after this battle. Not a true honey moon.

\tI armed myself with my bow and a quiver of arrows, a knife, and a sword.

\t”Let's do this!” I told myself.

\tAnd I rushed to get to the battlefield.

\tWhat I didn't know, was that my life was already changed…

\tForever.