5 Chapter 5: Kysael- Feelings, part 2 (1/2)

I drank deeply, relishing the sweetness and the fulfillment of it in my empty stomach.

\tAfter a few minutes, he pulled away. ”Kysael,” he said softly. ”We need to hurry.”

\tI sighed, pulling myself away, making myself wake up more. I knew that he was right, we had to get back out and enjoy the ceremony.

\t”I really did miss you this whole time,” he said, looking away. His face was flushed slightly. He met my eyes. ”But I am so very proud of you. I only wish that I could have gotten you more time before you had to set out again.”

\t”Oh, it's alright,” I told him. ”I am the king's weapon, after all. It is my duty to be whatever it is that he needs, whenever it is that he needs me to be that.”

\t”Kysael,” he said. ”You should know that.... that I don't agree with how he sees things, and I will fight to the best of my ability to make sure that you are not with child for a long time...until we must. I will fight to make sure that any child that we may have will not be used as a weapon. Even if that means leaving the city.... even if we have to leave without permission and be put in the Assassination list.”

\t”Dragon,” I exclaimed, surprised. ”You mustn't talk like that, someone could hear you,” I said, peeking out the window. Drakul made a ”wrap it up” motion with his hand, and suddenly Dragon's hand was on my cheek, guiding me to meet his eyes.

\t”I don't care if someone hears me. I want you to understand that I mean this, Kysael. Very seriously. This is not something that I will stand for. And with us getting married so soon.... You need to know that I intend to wait to have children until we cannot wait anymore, and if it comes down to it being like how you were treated.... then we will leave.”

\tMy heart beat erratically in my chest, and my face heated. He squeezed my hand, and then he was leading me back outside after he healed his arm, and Drakul came and clapped a hand on my back.

\t”We've missed you, lassie.”

\t”I thoroughly enjoyed being out of this city, though. No whispers, no burdens...just freedom. I missed you, but it was a very nice feeling to be out there.”

\t”I know.” He turned his attention to the crowd. ”Let the festivities begin!” He shouted, and everyone was in motion.

\tI was so tired, but I was enjoying the celebration. I'd never been to one of these celebrations before, and it felt nice to finally be able to be a part of one.

\tWe all had a huge parade, and then Drakul, Dragon, and King Emron got up onto the stage, gathering the attention of all those present.

\t”Tonight,” began the king. ”We celebrate the completion of the Hunting and Arching Unit, under Drakul and Dragon.”

\tDrakul stepped forward. ”Tonight, we will no longer be looking at these brave young warriors as trainees, but as full-fledged hunters and archers for the city of Havengrove. They will become true adults, and true members of this society, on this night. Dragon, you will announce the graduates for the Arching unit under you, first.”

\tDragon stepped up, and grabbed a scroll off of a nearby table, unrolling it. ”For the Arching unit of Havengrove city, I present the newest graduates. As I call your name, please come to receive your certificate of completion and your uniform as part of the city guard. Fellow clansmen, please hold all of your applause until all of the names have been called. Carius of the Oak clan, Shalin of the Oak clan, Desrin of the Willow clan, and Claus of the Aspen clan.

\tGravely, I have to also report the death of two young archers who set out to complete this final trial; Loron of the Pine clan, and Fallon of the Birch clan. These two will earn their names being engraved onto the great memorial monument in the Royal courtyard, and medals of honor for their clans. Our condolences are with their families. On a happy note, welcome the newest graduates!”

\tEveryone cheered, and they all took their certificates and uniforms and sat back down with their clans.

\tDrakul stepped back up as Dragon came to sit beside of me.

\t”And for the prestigious, high ranking Hunting squad of Havengrove city, I present your newest graduates. Hakasiel of the Ivy clan, Grimoir of the Ridgestone clan, and Kysael of the Cedar clan.”

\tMy heart thundered in my chest as I went up onto the stage, in front of all of those people, and took my certificate and my uniform from Drakul. My family cheered loudly, and Drakul got the crowd to quiet down again.

\t”And, as she has been a weapon for our city for the last decade, and has proven herself worthy of the title, I am appointing Kysael to become part of the Hunting Council. She will receive her orders directly from the King, but she will hold a special place in the Hold from now on. She has earned a place of honor in this city.” He placed a chain with a jade pendant on it around my neck, and tears welled up in my eyes. On that jade pendant, the emblem of the Tree of the Hunting unit was carved into the smooth, green surface of the stone. Only members of the hunting council and teachers of the hunting unit got this pendant.

\tWhispers filled the air, but my family and friends cheered for me.

\tAs workers began cleaning up from the mess, everyone dispersed back to their own homes. Since the ceremony was complete, Dragon and I went back to my family.

\t”Thank you, Master Drakul.”

\t”Don't thank me, lassie. And I'm not your master anymore. You have graduated. You have reached your goal. And it is my sincere hope for you that you will begin to be welcomed back into society.”

\tI hugged him, and then we all met afterward at Drakul's large house for a huge meal to celebrate. I was dead on my feet, but I was in the mood for some regular food, and I didn't want to let Drakul down by not coming.

\tAs we sat and talked, Drakul looked at me.

\t”How are you feeling about the wedding, lass?”

\tI glanced at Dragon, who had paused in chewing his bite, his eyes trained on his plate.

\t”Dragon has been very kind to me. I am content with this arrangement.”

\t”Yes, I have heard the whispers around the city. Dragon has been courting you,” my grandmother said, clasping her hands in an excited manner. ”That's nice, that you two have been getting used to the idea. I had hoped that things would work out for the best. Dragon vowed to do this many years ago, and it is so heart-warming to see him taking his role so seriously. He truly chose you.”

\tI startled. ”Dragon....vowed to marry me...?”

\t”Oh, yes!” My grandmother said dreamily. ”When you were born and the subject of the marriage laws came up. He said that he would marry you so that you would be safe! As Drakul said, he truly chose you. Isn't that wonderful, dear?”

\tI felt betrayed.

\tHe had agreed to marry me when I was born...? All of these years, my future had already been planned out. He had agreed to marry me but had still tried to encourage me to find love elsewhere, never saying anything about what he had promised to my mother on her deathbed?

\tHe had planned to marry me all along, and that's why he had always been so careful with me and so dedicated to my protection.

\tBut he wasn't in love with me, right? It was almost a cruel joke.

\tAnd that meant that he had been put on hold when I had met Kelose.

\tHe knew that he'd planned to marry me, but he just stood idly by and let me fall in love with Kelose?

\tIn a way, it was almost as if he had allowed me to have my heart broken. He could have simply told me that we were engaged.

\tHe could have told me that I couldn't go off and be with another man.

\tHe could have saved me.

\tInstead of saying what I truly felt, however, I kept it all bottled inside. ”Yes...” I mumbled.

\tI chanced another glance at Dragon, his eyes still on his plate. He was still shy about talking about all of this, and apparently, he had intended to continue to withhold that information from me.

\tHe wouldn't look at me.

\t”How do you feel about this, Dragon? Her grandmother is right, you did choose this when she was but an infant. How are you feeling now that your vow is coming to be fulfilled?” His mother asked him.

\tHe met my eyes for a moment, before looking to her. ”I am not unhappy. As it has been said, as you reiterated.... I chose her, truly. I vowed it, in front of each of you. I am not upset with the decision, though I do wish it could have...possibly waited a bit longer.”\t

\tShe smiled gently at him, deeper meaning in her eyes. She looked to me. ”You have both been through much. I'm sure that this must all be strange and uncomfortable.”

\tI looked at my plate. ”Dragon has always been there for me. And now, he is my only chance at a decent future in this city. I hate that so much burden has fallen onto his shoulders, all because of me. If it weren't for me, then-”

\tDragon sighed. ”It isn't a burden to me, Kysael. It is new, and strange...it isn't something that I had ever anticipated before you were born. And when the time actually came, I wasn't prepared despite my many years of knowing the possibilities. But I will do all that I can to give you a safe, comfortable life. No matter what that means. Living with one another.... having children...”

\tWhat he said wasn't necessarily offensive...but the slightly uncomfortable tone of his voice, the distant look on his face...I stood, anger ripping through my heart and in my eyes, I could feel heat from the sting of my tears.

\t”Maybe I don't just want a safe, comfortable life. Maybe I want more than just....'not unhappy' with me! Maybe I wish he would have told me this before I had even fallen in love with a man who would rip my heart out!” And I stormed out of the house, rushing off into the forest.

\tI could see it now, that I had begun to redevelop all of my feelings for Dragon, from the time that I had been a child.

\tEverything was reigniting. And I didn't want for him to just simply accept me, accept this arrangement.

\tI didn't want for him to simply be content.

\tI wanted for him to be happy with me. I wanted for him to love me. Love me the way that I loved him.

\tI stopped at my little home, panting and out of breath, and I collapsed onto the cold ground in the dark.

\tTears burned my cheeks, my breath puffing out in tuffs of smoke in the cold night air.

\tI heard hooves, and I looked up to see Dragon approaching, riding his moose. He unmounted gracefully, coming to quickly kneel in front of my curled body.

\t”Kysael,” he whispered.

\tHe held out his arms for me to come to him, and I went to press myself into him, his arms wrapping around me. I sniffled, my sobs getting softer, and I looked up at his face.

\t”I know that I overreacted. I'm sorry...it's just...” I trailed off, unable to continue.

\tHis light, lavender eyes were sad. ”I am sorry. I shouldn't have said what I did. You are right, you deserve more than contentment. You should want more than this. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you this years ago. I am so, so sorry that I allowed you to get hurt. You are right in your accusation. And I am sorry that this is such a slow process. But Kysael...I'm not having to force myself as hard to be with you. I am opening myself up to you as much and as soon as I can. But I am a slow man. And I am not used to such things. It will take some time for me to be able to give you my happiness.”

\tI nodded, and he unwrapped me from his hold and took my hand instead. ”I understand,” I whispered. ”I just...wish that we had more time.”

\tHe smiled, and kissed my forehead. ”Yes, as do I. I talked to my father about this a few years back, and I knew that you weren't mentally in any condition to go through with an arranged marriage, especially not to me. But I chose to do this for you, and to give you a good life that no one else in this city would be willing to give. Don't concern yourself with the complexities of my feelings. Go on up and go to bed. I will see you soon.”

\tI was positive that I was asleep before my body hit my bed.

\tNightmares plagued me throughout the night, nightmares of being raped and forcibly impregnated by many men, producing servants to live their lives for a city of people who would never treat them as anything more than tools of war. I had nightmares of Dragon having to hold me back as begged the king not to take my children. And I had a nightmare about a wild boar, a massive creature larger than any boar I had ever seen, running me through the hip with a tusk and fading into the light....

\tI shot out of my sleep, sweat running down my body and I gasped for air, rushing over to the water basin and splashing my face. I looked and saw light streaming in the window, and I got myself dressed and some supplies together before I made my way to the door, prepared to leave.

\tI opened it to see Drakul standing there, looking sheepish.

\t”Oh, morning, lass.”

\t”Good morning Mast--Drakul,” I corrected.

\tHe smiled. ”Where are you off to so early in the morning?”

\t”To head out on my mission for the king, sir,” I said.

\t”Oh!” He laughed. ”So that's why Dragon wanted for me to come and tell you. Dragon took your place.”

\tI dropped my supply bag. ”What?” I asked, shocked.

\t”He went to the King late last night, and had a long discussion with him for quite some time, my sources say that it was a very heated conversation. Then he came by my house and told me to come to you first thing this morning at day break to tell you that he was going on the mission and he would be back before the wedding. I didn't know what he meant by the mission, but now I do.”

\tMy face heated, and Drakul smiled at me affectionately.

\t”He cares for you, you know.”

\tI smiled. ”I know he does.”

\t”He said that it should only take him a few days, if that helps anything. He took his mount. And he told me to give you this,” he said, holding out a beautiful Golden Crown, a rare elven flower of healing that was blue in the center, and golden on the ends of the petals.

\tIt was supposed to have massive restorative and healing properties and was a common ingredient for healing potions in our city, which is why they were so scarcely found. Especially at this time of year. He also held out an envelope.

\tI took them from him and I smelled the rich, sweet aroma of the flower. ”Thank you.”

\tHe gave me a hug, and then he went on his way. I went back inside, and I opened the envelope. There was no note inside, only a long, thin vial that would typically be used for a potion.... but inside sloshed a thick, beautiful red liquid, and I felt my eyes sting with the sweetness of the gesture. I didn't need to open it to know what it was. I would be able to recognize it anywhere.

\tIt was his blood, sealed in a vial for me to drink when I got desperate.

\tFor now, I would try to suffice on normal food, but the implications of his gesture struck me.

\tHe had not only gone and convinced the king to let him go on this mission in my place so that I could get some rest, but he had sent me a rare healing flower and a vial of his blood.

\tHe was protecting me and taking care of me, all in one fell swoop. My heart beat ever harder in my chest.

*

\tA little more than a week passed, and it was entering the final days of November now. It was only two weeks away from the wedding. Dragon had finally returned just a day before, coming to my small and miniscule dwelling and telling me what he had found.

\tSure enough, the Orks had started problems with the Wraiths, and the Wraith King was getting angry and pushing back at the Orks. It seemed that, for now, attention was off of our city, and that I was successful as it had turned out.

\tWe enjoyed spending time together in these days as peace seemed to be more of a possibility. Now that I wasn't in classes, and he wasn't teaching since it was break time, we had more time than ever to spend together. The king kept his missions to a minimum, and all seemed to be going well.

\tI was out one day with Dragon, having a nice evening with him. We were strolling around the city, looking at the lanterns and how they lit up the snow in a warm feeling glow all around the city.

\t”Lord Dragon!” One of his apprentices cried, running up to us. ”They're bringing in a guard who has been severely injured! We need you to come and tend to him, right away!”

\t”What happened to him?” Dragon asked, concerned.

\t”He was attacked by a Wraith!” The man cried, and everyone stopped around us, before running and hustling to get to safe places.

\tOther guards rushed past us, taking the injured man with him. The smell of his blood was overwhelming, and it burned my eyes. But I couldn't let myself feel thirst right now, and I looked away, turning my face down in a way that hopefully no one could notice my eyes. Dragon faced me, blocking me from view from the guard.

\tOnce my eyes stopped burning, Dragon gave me a quick hug, and then rushed after them to the medical building to take care of the man.

\tI pulled my hair back into a braid, and strapped my bow and arrows on my back, hurrying to the gates. I heard more guards talking, and I focused on what they were saying.

\t”The Wraith is in the outer ring of the city! How did it even get into the city without the alarm being sounded? We need to locate everyone and get them into their homes, quickly!”

\tI stepped forward, wiping the concealant off of my face. Many people looked at me in awe, others rushing to get away from me out of fear.

\t”I will go out and hunt down this rogue Wraith, and I will handle this.” I looked at the guards. ”Please inform Lord Dragon as soon as he is finished helping that man, where I have gone. Do not follow me without him!” I said with authority, and then I ran.

\tI focused my keen Wraith sight, and used my increased Wraith speed to run at a pace that elves couldn't fathom, and humans couldn't even begin to dream of.

\tI used my senses to their fullest extent, tracking the smell of the injured man's blood back out into the forest, and the ever-increasing scent of something that I had only smelled one other time, outside of the city.

\tI suddenly saw a cloaked figure ahead of me in the forest, several miles into the outer ring. Its head jerked up from a detached arm, its eyes snapping to look at me as I approached.

\tI got into an offensive stance, three arrows notched on the bow string, poised to fire.

\tIts bright blue eyes looked at me, a black glint making them seem darker. I saw its dull, medium blue markings in the shape of a lightning-bolt shaped mask.

\tHe was a young looking male, with long black hair. He looked at me, confused, and spoke.

\t”Di tha kinogath sen yo?” He asked, and though the words sounded so eerily familiar to me, I could not understand them. ”Ah yo gono ahnso mah, gil?”

\t”I don't understand,” I said.

\tHe looked astounded. ”You have Wraith eyes, Wraith markings, and yet you don't even understand your own tongue? Wait a second....” He took a closer look at me. ”You have Woodelf hair and ears!”

\tI nodded. ”I am only half Wraith. You have to leave the city; more guards are on their way here! Please, go while you can. Go peacefully.”

\tHe hissed at me, focusing closer on my face. ”You do not even know who you are!” He shouted.

\tI jolted, lowering my weapon. ”Do you know who my father is? What clan of the Wraiths I am from? Speak quickly!”

\tHe laughed heartily. ”This is too much! You don't even know who you are!” He continued to laugh. ”Do you really want to know?”

\tAnd then he materialized behind me at a speed that was undetectable to even my eyes, and grabbed me hard, pulling my arms above my head.

\tI cried out in surprised pain. He tried to drag me, but relief flooded my heart when voices began to approach, light from torches in the distance, Dragon's voice calling out for me.

\t”Dragon!” I let out in a piercing shriek. I had never used such a frightened, panic-filled voice before, and the lights and voices started approaching much faster.

\tThe Wraith took a quick bite of my arm, my blood filling his mouth and running down his chin, before he ducked an arrow and took off into the forest.

\tThe other guards rushed past me, going after him.

\tDragon was beside of me in an instant. ”Kysael!” He healed the bite wound on my arm before he grabbed my face in his warm hands, making me look up at him. ”Are you alright?”

\t”He...he said that he knew who my father is,” I said softly. ”But then he grabbed me and started pulling me away.”

\t”He could have killed you,” Dragon said softly. ”What were you thinking, going after him on your own? Silly girl, you nearly made my heart stop!”

\t”He was....so fast. Even I couldn't see him get behind me, Dragon....He was....”

\t The upset expression on his face calmed, and he took a deep breath. He gave me a look of sorrowful sympathy. ”That was your first encounter with another Wraith, wasn't it?”

\tI nodded. ”He was eating a detached arm, and his eyes.... they were....” I shivered.

\tHe patted my back. ”It's alright, now.”

\t”Yes, I'm alright.... you came after me,” I said softly. ”You knew that I was facing down a Wraith, that you could have been killed...but you still came after me.”

\tHe laughed lightly. ”That is my job, you know. I have sworn it many times. I will always be there for you.”

\tMy throat swelled up, and I couldn't swallow. My face felt hot. A pure knowledge that I'd known in my heart since I was a child flooded my entire being. He felt my body tense, and the mood change. He took me by the shoulders.

\t”Kysael? What is it?”

\tI cleared my throat, and met his eyes. ”I'm in love with you,” I said softly.

\tHis eyes darkened to a deeper shade of lavender as they narrowed slightly, and his body tensed. I immediately felt like a fool, and looked away, embarrassed.

\tI heard him take in a deep breath, and slowly release it. Then, he pulled my chin so that I was looking at him. ”I apologize if I didn't...react the way that you had hoped. It was just very sudden. I wasn't expecting it. I'm...trying to process it. I had known, really.... but that's the first time that you've ever said it.”

\t”I know that you don't feel the same way, so don't concern yourself with it. I just...had to give voice to it.”

\tHe nodded, and smiled. ”I am sorry to say that I don't feel the same way. Yet. I've raised you and watched over you since the day I delivered you out of your mother. I love you, but...I'm sorry.”

\tI nodded. ”Yes, of course. You love me, you just...don't love me the way that I want to be loved.”

\tHe gave me a hug. ”I will always care for you,” he said.

\t”Hopefully, that will be enough.”

*

December, 1101 A.D.

\tEntering into the month, I was quite nervous. In just a few short days, I knew that I would be married. I placed the order for my wedding gown, and I made sure to feed well and have plenty of firewood, making sure to be taken care of so that Dragon could have these ten days to himself.

\tI knew that this was going to be hardest on him. I could feel it. I saw it in the way that he looked at me, the desperately forced facade of calm acceptance. I knew that he was trying his best to not hurt my feelings.

\tHe was trying to be mature, a responsible and courteous gentleman. But as time continued to drag closer to the date, I could feel his aura and body stay tensed.

\t”Why don't you go home, my lord?” I asked him around the first of the month.

\t”What?” He asked, shocked.

\t”Yes, please go back home. You don't need to take care of me right now. I can take care of myself. Take until the wedding to have time to yourself, without all of your time revolving around me and my care. Please.”

\tHe smiled, and came to stand before me, snow falling around us. He took a few strands of my hair in between his thumb and first two fingers, stroking it down to the end of the strands before releasing it.

\t”You are a kind girl, Kysael.”

\tI laughed. ”It's not kindness. You need to rest, and take care of yourself. I can finish gathering firewood for myself, and I can start a fire and stay warm and stay fed until the wedding. You don't need to strain yourself worrying over me.”

\tHe sighed, and kissed my forehead, on top of my marking. ”Alright, Kysael. I will see you there, then.”

\t”Go on,” I smiled, shooing him on.

\tAnd I watched with a fluttering heart as he disappeared into the snowy forest after throwing one more glance over his shoulder my way.

\tAs the days went by, I felt more and more anxious. Sure enough, Dragon wasn't watching over me.

\tHe wasn't keeping an eye on me. He was taking some time to himself, as I had asked.

\tI smiled to myself. Once we married, I would take up even more of his time, and he would take up even more of mine. And I had to admit that I sort of liked the thought, at least for myself. I felt more.... sympathetic for my betrothed.

\tFinally, it was the tenth day of December. It was the day of the arranged wedding, and surprisingly, it was a warm morning.

\tSnow was even melting a little.

\tAnd now, I had to admit how nervous I really was.

\tI had gotten up early, and went to the bath house to have the full-body treatment; hair trimmed, legs waxed, finger and toe nails clipped, and had a massage. I didn't know how this entire ordeal would go, but upon recollection of my intimacy with Kelose, I had everything taken care of. I hadn't given my virginity to Kelose, but we had… had oral relations with one another. I blushed as I remembered his face on the lower regions of my body. So I had everything taken care of.

\tAnd I mean, everything...I didn't know what would happen, or when we may get intimate, if we ever did...but I wanted to take the proper precautions, just in case.

\tI went to the home of Grimoir's parents. Vintice was a blacksmith, and Grimoir's mother, Asiel, was a seamstress and a tailor.