Part 2 (2/2)

My vocation thus determined, I was bound apprentice; not, however, to a watchraver, and I had been so coister, that I submitted without aman of a very violent and boorish character, who contrived in a short time to tarnish all the amiable qualities of htly, and reduce s, as well as ot my Latin, history, and antiquities; I could hardly recollect whether such people as Roer beheld his idol, nor could the ladies recognize the gallant Jean Jacques; nay, I was so well convinced that Mr and Miss Lambercier would scarce receive me as their pupil, that I endeavored to avoid their company, and from that time have never seen them The vilest inclinations, the basest actions, succeeded my amiable amusements and even obliterated the very reood education, a great propensity to degenerate, else the declension could not have folloith such ease and rapidity, for never did so pro a Caesar so quickly become a Laradon

The art itself did not displeasedispleasing in the exercise of the graver; and as it required no very extraordinary abilities to attain perfection as a watchcase engraver, I hoped to arrive at it Perhaps I should have accon, if unreasonable restraint, added to the brutality ofI wasted his ti nia for a new invented order of chivalry, and though this differed very little from my usual employ, I considered it as a relaxation Unfortunately, htwas the consequence He reproachedto make counterfeit h, I can truly aver, I had no conception of falsebetter how to make a Roman As than one of our threepenny pieces

My master's tyranny rendered insupportable that labor I should otherwise have loved, and drove me to vices I naturally despised, such as falsehood, idleness, and theft Nothing ever gave me a clearer demonstration of the difference between filial dependence and abject slavery, than the ree produced in me at that period Hitherto I had enjoyed a reasonable liberty; this I had suddenly lost I was enterprising at my father's, free at Mr Lambercier's, discreet at my uncle's; but, with my master, I became fearful, and from that moment my mind was vitiated Accustomed to live on terms of perfect equality, to be witness of no pleasures I could not command, to see no dish I was not to partake of, or be sensible of a desire Ievery wish of my heart to my lips--what a transition!--at my master's I was scarce allowed to speak, was forced to quit the table without tasting what Iparticular to do there; was incessantly confined to my work, while the liberty my master and his journeyht of h conscious that I understood the subject better than any of the I saw became an object of desire, for no other reason than because I was not perayety, ease, those happy turns of expressions, which formerly even made my faults escape correction I recollect, with pleasure, a circumstance that happened atfor so through the kitchen, withon the spit; my father and the rest were round the fire; I h this cere with a wistful eye at the roast , and s that a bow likewise, adding in a pitiful tone, good bye, roast ood humor, that I was perht have produced a siht could never have occurred to e to express it

Thus I learned to covet, disseth, to steal, a propensity I never felt the least idea of before, though since that time I have never been able entirely to divest myself of it Desire and inability united naturally led to this vice, which is the reason pilfering is so coh the latter, as they grow up, and find the is at their command, lose this shae, I never enjoyed the benefit

Good sentiments, ill-directed, frequently lead children into vice

Notwithstanding my continual wants and temptations, it was more than a year before I could resolve to take even eatables My first theft was occasioned by complaisance, but it was productive of others which had not so plausible an excuse

My master had a journeyhborhood, and had a garden at a considerable distance frous This Verrat, who had no great plenty of money, took it in his head to rob her of the arden, and by the sale of it procure those indulgences he could not otherwise afford hi very nimble, he did not care to run the hazard of a surprise After some preli of, he proposed this expedition to me, as an idea which had that moment struck him At first I would not listen to the proposal; but he persisted in his solicitation, and as I could never resist the attacks of flattery, at length prevailed In pursuance of this virtuous resolution, I every athered the best of the asparagus, and took it to the Holard where so to diminish the price, made no secret of their suspicions; this produced the desired effect, for, being alar taken to Mr Verrat, was presently metamorphosed into a breakfast, and divided with a coh I procured it, I never partook of their good cheer, being fully satisfied with an inconsiderable bribe

I executedonly to please my employer; and several days passed before it came into my head, to rob the robber, and tithe Mr Verrat's harvest I never considered the hazard I run in these expeditions, not only of a torrent of abuse, but what I should have been still ; for the miscreant, who received the whole benefit, would certainly have denied all knowledge of the fact, and I should only have received a double portion of punish only an apprentice, I stood no chance of being believed in opposition to a journeyues kno to save theht ined: I took care towithin my reach, that I conceived an inclination for I was not absolutely ill-fed at myit with the luxury he enjoyed The custo people fros are served up which see, and induces them to steal what they conceive to be so delicious It eneral h quite the reverse when I happened to be detected

I recollect an attempt to procure some apples, which was attended with circumstances that make me s in the pantry, which by a lattice at a considerable height received light fro alone in the house, I cli out of arden of Hesperides I fetched the spit--tried if it would reach thethened it with a s very fond of hunting, darted at theth wasup an apple, I drew it gently to the lattice--was going to seize it when (who can express h--it was too large I tried every expedient to accoht supporters to keep the spits in the same position, a knife to divide the apple, and a lath to hold it with; at length, I so far succeeded as to effect the division, and h; but it was scarcely separated, (compassionate reader, sympathize with my affliction) when both pieces fell into the pantry

Though I lost ti a surprise, I put off the attempt till next day, when I hoped to behad happened, without once thinking of what the two obvious witnesses I had left in the pantry deposed against ) I renew the trial I fasten the spits together; get on the stool; take aion did not sleep; the pantry door opens,up, exclaims, ”Bravo!”

--The horror of that moment returns--the pen drops from my hand

A continual repetition of ill treatment rendered me callous; it seemed a kind of composition for my crimes, which authorizedback at the punish beat like a slave, I judged I had a right to all the vices of one I was convinced that to rob and be punished were inseparable, and constituted, if I may so express myself, a kind of traffic, in which, if I perforain, my master would take care not to be deficient in his; that prelireat tranquility, and whenever this interrogatory occurred to my mind, ”What will be the consequence?” the reply was ready, ”I know the worst, I shall be beat; no ; areedy; I have such a variety of inclinations to gratify, that this can never predominate; and unless my heart is unoccupied, which very rarely happens, I pay but little attention toeatables, but extended this propensity to everything I wished to possess, and if I did not become a robber in form, it was only because money never tempted me

My master had a closet in the workshop, which he kept locked; this I contrived to open and shut as often as I pleased, and laid his best tools, fine drawings, i he wished to keep from me, under contribution

These thefts were so far innocent, that they were always e the trifles in ined I stole the art with its productions Besides what I have old and silver, a nuh I seldo cast a wishful look at them; on the contrary, I beheld these valuables rather with terror than with delight

I areat led with the idea of it the fear of infamy, a prison, punishment, and death: had I even felt the temptation, these objects would have gery, and, in truth, they were little else; they could but occasion a good tri, and this I was already prepared for A sheet of fine drawing paper was a greater temptation than money sufficient to have purchased a ream This unreasonable caprice is connected with one of the ularities of my character, and has so far influenced my conduct, that it requires a particular explanation

My passions are extre can equal er to discretion, respect, fear, or decorum; rude, saucy, violent, and intrepid: no shaer intile object, that beyond it the whole world is not worth a thought; this is the enthusiased in a state of annihilation Take me in my moments of tranquility, I am indolence and timidity itself; a word to speak, the least trifle to perfor alar of a fly will make ladly shi+eld ed to exert norant what to do! when forced to speak, I am at a loss for words; and if any one looks at me, I am instantly out of countenance If anihts with ease, but, in ordinary conversations, I can say nothing --absolutely nothing; and, being obliged to speak, renders them insupportable

I may add, that none of my predominant inclinations centre in those pleasures which are to be purchased: ht; I must have them unadulterated; I love those of the table, for instance, but cannot endure the restraints of good company, or the intemperance of taverns; I can enjoy them only with a friend, for alone it is equally is, that I find no pleasure in eating Wo heart cannot be satisfied without affection; it is the same with every other enjoyment, if not truly disinterested, they are absolutely insipid; in a word, I as which are only estimable to minds forht ined; if you would enjoy you must transform it; and this transformation is frequently attended with inconvenience; you ain, purchase, pay dear, be badly served, and often duped I buy an egg, am assured it is new-laid --I find it stale; fruit in its utood wine, but where shall I get it? Not at my wine merchant's --he will poison me to a certainty I wish to be universally respected; how shall I coes, write letters, coo, wait, and be frequently deceived Money is the perpetual source of uneasiness; I fear it ood wine

A thousand tione out to purchase some nicety, I approach the pastry-cook's, perceive so at me I pass a fruit shop, see some fine pears, their appearance te people are near, or aat the door; I take all that pass for persons I have soht contributes to deceive me I am everywhere intimidated, restrained by some obstacle, and with money in my pocket return as I went, for want of resolution to purchase what I long for

I should enter into the nance, and inconvenience of all kinds which I have experienced in parting with ency of others; as I proceed, the reader will get acquainted withhim with the recital

This once comprehended, one of my apparent contradictions will be easily accounted for, and the reatest contempt of money It is a movable which I consider of so little value, that, when destitute of it, I never wish to acquire any; and when I have a su how to dispose of it to reeable and convenient opportunity present itself, and I empty my purse with the utine I aant from a motive of ostentation, quite the reverse; it was ever in subservience toin expense, I endeavor to conceal it I so well perceive that money is not made to answer my purposes, that I am almost ashamed to have any, and, still more, to make use of it