CH 5 (1/2)

Chapter 5 – The Reasoning of the Literature Girl

What do I need to do to find S’s weakness?

If I can rattle S’s heart, Iout all of S’s secrets!

In all ofthis Finally, from

an unexpected incident, I got the key to S’s destruction

◇ ◇ ◇

For the entire last weekend of May, I was melancholic

When I was playing video ga

ga with my family, Takeda‟s desolate expression

would appear in my mind The one sentence that she said „for a person like Konoha Senpai…you

won‟t understand …‟, combined with her expression would, in my mind, overlap another

person‟s expression and voice I couldn‟t get this out ofon this

Before it was ti Sevens with my little sister Maika, who just entered

ele tea for us, asked me-

“Older brother [TL note: Referring to Maika‟s older brother ie KonohaIt‟s a way of referring

in etic Did so happened in school?

“No, nothing Everything is normal”

“Really?”

“Really Nothing really happened”

My htly and said-

“I see After you got into senior high, older brother has reverted back to his foretic self

Your school life must be very pleasant I am relieved”

“…Yeah, I am happy everyday”

Even though I a from tomorrow, my normal life would

come back

No arguer than necessary hopes and dreams; I just to live a common

school life everyday; then after school, I would go to the Literature Club and stay there till the

sunset dyed the entire rooold I would write snacks for Tooko Senpai, listen to her outlandish

coive her snarky comebacks…

“Then, It‟s time to eat Mai chan, tell father that it‟s time to eat”

“Yes~~~”

Maika, with a loud patapata, ran off Moently-

“Hey, Konoha Both your father and h for Konoha to live his life safe

and energetic We are not seeking anything more [TL note: „, so don‟t push yourself too hard‟]”

“Thanks mom”

The reatly

The price of that unworthy glory costI treasured most in my entire life

I do not want the saain

After dinner, I laid on my bed and listened to my favorite music with my earbuds The music

were lively- ones that would cheer up their listeners

Suddenly, I thought of Tooko Senpai

“What did Tooko Senpai eat today?”

I have not been writing snacks for Tooko Senpai these days

When I told her about Takeda san‟s boyfriend, she appeared very sad

She even stripped in front of a ather info, and then she found out she had

been tricked all along It was a very tragic thing indeed, worthy of crying I think

“I aet her written report, right?

From what I saw, she was very lovey-dovey with that boyfriend of her She will for sure write

the sweetest love report Tooko Senpai has ever tasted!”

I said it jokingly, but Tooko Senpai‟s face became even more downcast She slowly shook her

head and answered-

“NoThe person who should look sad right now is Konoha kun”

With such an answer, I couldn‟t talk back to her; so I remained silent

Both my mother and Tooko are worried about me

When I thought of this, I felt very asharetful

“Let‟s write so sweet for Tooko Senpai tomorrow…”

◇ ◇ ◇

As if bit by bit I slowly injected poison into S- S became more and more crazy All these

gradually happened under my calm eyes

I know S’s attitude is not as tranquil as it once was

S would constantly look around; S’s voice would shake

When S is alone, there would be endless sighs Sorab one’s hair,

and then S would, as if frightened, turn around and look behind

The time is near

Everything is ready

What’s left is to open the door with the key

I wrote a letter to S

I will be waiting for you on the roof

Let us talk truthfully to each other!

◇ ◇ ◇

The following day also had good weather

From the classroom s the sky outside looked very blue, very clear The tender leaves of

trees sparkled underneath it

During lunchbreak, when I was sticking my head out of theto catch some early summer

breeze, Akutagawa kun caawa kun actually came and talked to methat

was rare

“…On the last Friday the graduates cas about you”

“What? About what?”

“They asked what year and class you are in, and what kind of person you are”

Maybe because I look like Shuuji Kataoka they are curious what I am like? Now that I know

Shuuji Senpai suicided, I can finally understand why they seemed reluctant to answer my

question when I look back at when I questioned them about Shuuji Senpai

“…I just thought it would be better I tell you this”

“Yeah, thanks Akutagawa kun”

Akutagawa kun nodded lightly at me, then returned to his seat

I suddenly remembered that I still owe Kotobuki san 10 yen I hurriedly took out my wallet-

(Good, I have the money with me today)

“Here This is the change you wanted”

I walked to Kotobuki san and handed her the 10 yen coin Kotobuki san only moved her eyes

away and softly bit her lips

“…Hm”

“Thanks for paying for me”

“Ah, that…”

“Yes? Anything else?”

“…Nothing”

She puffed her cheeks and went quiet again

Is she embarrassed because she was the one who told me Takeda san already had a boyfriend? I

wanted to say so to ease her mind; but at the same time I was afraid that I may say

soer her In the end I just put the 10 yen coin on her palm and walked

back to my seat

After school on the hallway, as I was headed to the Literature Club, someone suddenly called out

from behind me:

“Konoha kun!”

I turned around and saw an unexpected person panting behind me

“What is it?”

“I have so important to say Could you follow me for a second?”

“Eh…but…”

“It won‟t take long Please This is an eency”

“…Okay”

It doesn‟t seem like I have much choice, so I followed the person

For what reason did this person want to find me? And, that person looked very nervous and

frightened, what happened?

The person got on a staircase

Third story

Fourth story

The noise kon-kon from the footsteps echoed from the wall I looked in front of me and

advanced silently

I suddenly realized where ere heading I was startled

“Excuse ?”

“The roof”

A wave of fear suddenly seized ers and lips start to shake and

were beco numbed

An ie appeared in my mind

A sky that was as blue as the sea; The concrete under my feet; The air that arped by the

heat wave; The shadows of that girl and I; The water tower; The rusted sIn

front of the railing [TL note: ie „Behind the railing‟ in English], she slowly turned around-

“Sorry, I can‟t go to the roof”

The nuer than ever A powerful unease expanded

unstopped in me Fear made me stop my steps I wanted to just drop to the floor, but that person

forcefully grabbed ed me forward

I felt a dab of pain from my arm That dull pain recalled me from my past

“I need to say to you that I can‟t let others know; it‟s just for a bit…”

When I looked at that person‟s eyes, all I saere the muddled eyes alike a dead fish‟s The

tone also beca with my returned consciousness was suddenly attacked

by a grave sense of ier and fear

“But the roof-“

“What‟s with you? What are you afraid of? Did so happen on the roof?”

The other person‟s voice was shaking; nonetheless that person was still strongly dragging my

hand

“Then, let‟s go together You have soht?”

“Please let o to the roof!”

That person just dragged me even harder The person used the free hand to open the roof door

The wind blew onto my face

Wind was also blowing on that day She stood in front of the , and turned her head

toin the cool summer breeze

(No)

(NO-)

(STOP-)

The person ignored ed me to the open roof There that person yelled at

me-

“You wrote the letters, didn‟t you!”

What is this person talking about? Heletters? Did he

mean the draft love letters I wrote for Takeda san?

The fear froertips were numbed; I had

trouble breathing; ht at me; My forehead

started to sweat; My sight became pitch black

I couldn‟t breathe naturally, so I panted as hard as I could Ah, it‟s those syain It had

been a long time since I experienced them

“The letters were sent by you! Weren‟t they, Shuuji!”

That person tightly grasped the collars of ht in front of

my face

“You are wrong, Soeda san I am not Shuuji Kataoka!”

“Then, why did you stare at

expression of yours!”

Soeda san yelled

When I first lasses looked very intelligent

and sober; but now it is as if he became another person His face was ferocious and made me feel

endlessly scared

Who is this person? Is he really the alumni Soeda san?

“Always! You always just stare atat

that, are you bla me? It was

you who killed Sakiko!”

In between panting and no breathing, I feebly asked him

“Didn‟t,Sakiko san, die, from the accident?”

Soeda san, with his red filled eyes, angrily shouted out-

“Don‟t play dumb On that day, wasn‟t it you who said you had to stay behind for club activities,

and askedattitude, that always s

tone of yours told irlfriend to you‟

It was I who fell in love with her first And you, even though you knehat I was feeling, you

came and tempted her away and made her fall in love with you Then when you two started

going out, you even dared to coo

out with her, so I had no choice but to accept‟”

You are always like this! So laidback, so sloppy towards everything You think you are so funny,

but you keep on taking away stuff I wanted Same with archery, the winner at the end was

always you The girls I've ever liked, they all in turn fell in love with you

I really despise you I uncontrollably loathe you I couldn‟t let it show, so I just tried my damn

hardest to act as if nothing is happening Yet you always s to keep

up with the act!

Your kind and gentle attitude and sust me!

„I will entrust one out with me

How can you just be all generous and tell irlfriend to you‟

You knehat I was thinking; nevertheless you still tried to test her to see whether she was

loyal to you There is no denying that you area fool out of me!”

The hands that Soeda san had onharder and harder

In my mind, the face of Soeda san, the face of Shuuji Kataoka and, finally, the final face of Miu

ere both on the roof- all these faces surfaced in

blurrier and blurrier

Hey, why aren‟t you talking? Are you ignoring me? Why do you look so painful?

I chased her to the roof Miu smiled sadly and said-

-Konoha, for sure you won‟t understand

“You for sure won‟t understand the pain I a! On that day I confessed to her I asked her

to break up with you and go out withto

get away, and she just ran out to the street without checking the light And then she got hit by

that truck that was turning and died I was very scared I was a coho just escaped from

that place

If I – if I didn‟t confess to her- no, that‟s wrong If it weren‟t for you, none of these would

happen, and I wouldn‟t be a coho killed her

After that, you did not ask me about her You knew that I ith her when the accident

happened Yet, you just silently stare ather

home?‟

Is it really that fun to screw around with me?”

My choking throat gave out the panting sound hyu~~hyu

My fingertips were shaking; I almost couldn‟t breathe

(No…Shuuji Kataoka was not happy at all He had always been very much alone and in pain)

I wanted to tell him these, but I couldn‟t talk

The face of Soeda san was disfigured due to extreme inner torment The hands that he was

choking er

“On that day, I stabbed you with the knife I brought You tried to seek help, didn‟t you? That‟s

why you walked towards the , leaned your body out, and fell to your death! But

why? Why? Why did you appear in front of ain? My child will be born next year! I want to

forget about you and live a happy life, but why ain!

For the past ten years, you kept on wandering inside my mind! And then, now you really do

appear in front ofto have a kid! I thought I

can finally live in peace! If you don‟t die, I will kill you as many times as it take!”

Soeda san‟s fingers and the fabric of le my neck Soeda

san‟s fingers were shaking

Fleeting moments of my past, like a lantern, flew past in my mind

A face suddenly appeared beside ly I smelled the sweet

scent of shaether

And the quietly s Shuuji Kataoka that was in the picture

During classes, the Miu that was concentrated in writing to her notebook, and I, as looking

at her slender body with devotion and love

The face of Soeda san that isted by pain; the face of Shuuji Kataoka; the face of Miu

The Soeda san who stabbed Shuuji to death; the Shuuji Kataoka who fell from the roof; the Miu

who stood in front of the railing and turned her head around to me

Konoha, for sure you won‟t understand

For sure you won‟t understand

For sure you won‟t understand

Miu‟s body, just like that, slowly leaned backward and fell down

A segen shi+kkaku‟ floated to the top of my mindThe

girl is dead

The girl is dead

Aah, perhaps I should be dead as well?

At this ot in between Soeda san and I

“Stay away from Konoha Senpai!”

Takeda‟s small body was between us and with it, she pushed Soeda san away

Freed, my feet obbly and I lost my balance My whole body fell onto the concrete floor

Takeda san hurriedly helped et back up

“Konoha Senpai, are you all right?! Konoha Senpai!”

As I was rapidly panting, I weakly yelled out “…Takeda san”

Takeda san‟s eyebroere closed together- she was on the verge of tears She let me lay on the

concrete floor, and then turned around to Soeda san With a fierce voice, she yelled-

“So you were indeed Shuuji senpai‟s killer You were that „S‟, weren‟t you, Soeda san!”

“Wh- who are you?”

“I aed Shuuji senpai‟s names in those letters and

sent them to you It was also I who asked Soeda san to come to the roof”

“What did you say!?”

Soeda san was dumbfounded

“Why did you do all these?”

“I wanted to find out the real identity of S Because that person ith Shuuji Senpai right up

to the end”

Takeda san took out the folded letters from her pocket The sound kasakasa can be heard as

the papers ruffled against one another She opened them and showed them to Soeda san

“In addition to the will Shuuji Senpai left in his house, he left his true will as well That as

put into a discarded book in the basee room For the past ten years it sat there

undiscovered It was I who discovered it and I read it

“Shuuji Senpai knew the death of his girlfriend Sakiko san is related to S However the reason

Shuuji Senpai did not say anything was because he was indeed atte to test Sakiko Senpai

That‟s why he asked you to walk her home As a result of this test, Sakiko Senpai died from the

car accident

In this letter, Shuuji Senpai regretfully said „I killed her It was all because I malevolently tried to

test her loyalty that she died” This was the reason Shuuji Senpai thought he should be the one to

die He wanted S to kill him!”

Takeda san, with a tone as cool as a cold breeze sweeping through decaying wood, read out the

letter I did not know exist

“‟S has been cornered

Due to S‟s action, irlfriend died S believes the sin cannot be repented; S also worries that

someone will discover the truth

I approached S with my usual attitude I stared at S, and showed S my smile S‟s mind soon

started to cru screams

From the bottom of my heart I wished the cornered S would become homicidal to me- I wanted S

to kill me

That is the way I will repent my sin to her

S is my enemy, my friend, and the person who knows me best; therefore, S should be able to

read my intention With all my sincerity, I want S to kill me‟ – this letter stopped at when S was

called to the roof”

The second handnote

That letter does indeed have a follow up

Takeda san only showedof the letter

“After I read the letter, I asked each of the teachers about it and did a lot of background check

Finally, I found out that Shuuji Kataoka was a student who co off the

roof ten years ago Did Shuuji Senpai really suicide? Or was he killed by S? – These questions

constantly popped into my mind What I do know is that on that day, Shuuji Senpai did meet

with S on the roof S should know the whole truth I really wanted to find out what happened

So, using Shuuji senpai‟s name, I wrote a letter to you- to S, Soeda Senpai When everyone

noticed that Shuuji Senpai looked like Konoha Senpai, you were the calroup At

that time I already felt curious by this Later on, did you not look at Konoha Senpai even once? I

noticed that while Manabe san kept on studying Konoha Senpai, you on the other hand were

atte to divert your eyes away, as if you really did not want to see Konoha Senpai So, I

took advantage to Shuuji senpai‟s name, and wrote you a letter that contain past events that only

Shuuji Senpai and you knew Please tell me, on that day, on this roof, what did you talk with

Shuuji Senpai?”

“Talk about what-“

Soeda san exhaustedly mumbled:

“We didn‟t say anything I stabbed him with my knife, and he silently let me stab him That‟s all

there was to it”

“What-“

Takeda san yelled out disappointedly

At that moment-

“That‟s because he was not S; thus he cannot answer your question”

I turned my neck as hard as possible to the direction of the voice

I saw a slender body Its pale forehead had shi+ny black bangs all over it And her cat tail like

long braids wavered with the wind Its eyes were clear and wiseIn

at the door entrance to the roof The

sight of her entered my eyes clearly

At that moment, I could feel the aves in my chest I wanted to cry

Takeda san,

and Soeda san,

they were both looking at Tooko Senpai in awe

“Who- who are you?”

The shaken Soeda san asked Tooko Senpai answered definitely-

“‟The Literature Girl‟”

Aah, it‟s such a serious occasion Does she realize what she is saying?

I droppedhot concrete floor toasted by sunlight My whole body

went limped That‟s Tooko Senpai for you; no matter what happens, she will always be Tooko

Senpai

“Also, to that boy that is lying on the ground, I am the kindest, the nicest, and the most

dependable cute Senpai”

Who would compliment themselves like that… Soeda san and Takeda san were both speechless

Tooko Senpai, with her braids swinging behind her, sloalked to us

“The wife of Soeda Senpai and their friends came to the Literature Club to find me They came

to ask for the whereabouts of Soeda Senpai”

Behind Tooko Senpai stood the aluht of them,

Soeda san became flustered His face went pale and he shouted-

“Rihoko, Manabe! Why are you two here?”

Rihoko Senpai only slightly lowered her eyes

“You have been behaving strangely these days… As if you were afraid of so

see your room, I found a letter I

saw that the sender is Kataoka, so I opened and read it Shocked, I phoned your workplace and

heard that you took a sick leave I got even worried, so I…”

“Rihoko contacted ht come to the school to find Konoha kun- no,

to find Shuuji Did you really stab Shuuji… Soeda?”

Manabe san‟s voice was filled with boundless distress

“I knew you liked Sakiko Kijima, I also felt that you were not exactly friendly toward Shuuji

But to kill him? If that‟s true then I…”

Manabe san took a look at Rihoko san, and bit his lips as if he was holding in so

Rihoko san still had her eyes lowered Both her ar her stomach

Wife and friend- he had linked his sins to those closest to him Soeda san appeared completely

despaired and shakely said-

“That couldn‟t be helped Only by killing Shuuji could I regain peace…”

In that instant, Tooko Senpai sternly cut into the dialogue

“No It wasn‟t Soeda Senpai who killed Shuuji san He is not S S is someone else!”

“Impossible! But when Soeda san saw Konoha Senpai, his reaction was the strangest Also, the

letter I wrote to him also drove him mad”

Takeda san countered

“Chia chan, you haveS was the enemy of Shuuji Senpai;

at the same time, S also understood him the best Because Chia chan only showed us the first half

of the letter, we can only guess what happened after it But Shuuji Senpai constantly mentioned

that S coh him The clown tricks only fail in front of S

So, S could not be Soeda san

If he truly understood Shuuji Senpai, then he would not have s toward Shuuji Nor

would he have any envies or jealousy”

Takeda san panic and asked-

“Then… who is S?”

“I am not the famous detective from Baker Street, nor am I a clever old lady who can solve crime

while knitting fro chair I am only a „Literature Girl‟, so I do not

know deduction; I can only use delusion as the basis of ination, that‟s all…

Kataoka Shuuji really adored Osamu Dazai, so he left behind the real death note, the one that

described his true inner heart, in the book „Ningen shi+kkaku‟ From his letters alone one can see